To cancel my son’s party as I’m worried no one will turn up?

[LakeDistrictLass]

I’ve booked a village hall and bouncy castle for my son’s 4th birthday next month.

He’s been desperate for a party for a while now, since he’s been to a few friend’s parties recently.

I’m now really anxious nobody will turn up.
I’ve invited his friends from outside nursery , who we’ve known since we went to baby groups etc and one has already said she can’t come as she has her covid booster and flu jab that day (I didn’t even know they did Saturdays) and she’s vulnerable, so I do understand of course.
Another is heavily pregnant and due in November, so she says she isn’t sure how she’ll be feeling by then.

I’m planning on sending invites out to his nursery classmates, there are only 16 of them as a lot of the previous have moved up to reception now.

Altogether I’ll have invited 23 children.

I’m just not sure whether it’s worth the stress and anxiety.
I’ll lose my deposit if I cancel, but I’m not sure I can cope with the heartbreak of no one arriving on the day and my DS sitting waiting. We’re providing food and party bags too of course. I’m just feeling ill at the thought of doing all that and nobody or just a couple coming.

Also, when would you send invites out at nursery? The party is mid October. I was thinking week after next? Then that’s 3 weeks in advance.

I always made sure my kids went to parties they were invited to and let the parents know if for any reason they couldn't go. You could ask for people to let you know with a quick text if they can't come. I remember (mine are grown up now) it was always a chance for a tiny bit of free time alone or with my other kids and the party goer got fed, and a party bag too! So it is unlikely people just won't come, en masse.

I sent the invites yesterday- asked the TA to put them into book bags.
I thought I might have had answers via text (I put my phone number on) but nothing yet.
One mum spoke to me at drop off this morning and said they should be coming. But nothing from anyone else yet.
Truing not to panic yet!

I had this stress when I did a village hall party for my 3 year old, it was horrible , in the end I only had 7 children out of 18 that could come luckily my brother got 3 of his neighbours children to come along so we had 10 in the end. He did absolutely love it and that was enough children but I don’t think I’d do it again it’s awful people cancel and don’t bother to turn up if there’s no genuine reason. I always make the effort it’s 1-2 hours of your day. Send out the invites now and see who can come if it’s not many and the deposit is not loads I’d just cancel and do it at your house ? Or a little soft play party ? You can do ones where it’s still open to the public but you can have say a group of 5 and they’ll do a little lunch for them and they can go off and play together x

@Lakalla
I sent them yesterday, they were put into book bags.
However, apart from one mum who told me on the playground today that she could come, I’ve not heard from anyone else. I’ve double checked my number was correct on the RSVP and yes it is.

Done things you just have to commit to and hope for the best. Out of 23 invited surely enough would turn up to make it worth it.

When should I expect confirmations via the number I put on to RSVP to? I don’t know what the protocol is

Invites 6 or 8w before the party,so now

Did you put an RSVP date on? If you didn't I'd expect them to come in dribs and drabs until the party.

I would cancel, arrange a family party at home (do you have small nieces/nephews etc? If so could do some party games) and spoil him with presents/treats.

It’s really shitty how nobody ever seems to commit to anything now.

People are very different about how often they check bags etc. Chase people up nearer the time. Try not to stress it will be fine with less kids.

The OP only sent the invitations yesterday. Not RSVPing within 24 isn't 'not comitting'. Give them a chance!!

Well, I'm quite an organised person but I wouldn't have RSVP'd in less than 24 hours.

I think you need to chill out a bit.

Give it time; don’t stress people will come.

don’t cancel it will be fun

I'm fully adult and admit the I do tend to have a touch of 'what happens if no one turns up ' any time I invite people.

It helps if you know one or even two families who can definitely make it.

The important thing is not to show your child that you are in any way upset. He would have a whale of a time with just you on a bouncy castle.

Cake, candles to blow out. Perfect

If anyone else turns up it will be a bonus. Hope it all goes well.

Do not cancel... you have had ONE decline and one maybe and have even invited most people yet, what on earth makes you think people wont show up - too cancel you just hurt your DS.

In over a decade of hosting paries I have never had a party where no one show up.

Hell, I was a VERY unpopular child that got bullied a lot and people still showed up to my parties as a young child... people go to 4/5 year olds birthday for the first year of nursery/reception on mass, its when you get the biggest turn out (as long as its not somewhere hard for people to attend).

To be fair on a bouncy castle he might have even MORE fun with under 10 kids.

Rsvp date is important, and welcome siblings of you want more.

If you have a few kids, cake and balloons am sure he'll have a lovely time

its been a day... trust me waiting until the day before the party or even the morning of and youll get a flurry of 3-5 people going 'sorry I forgot to reply can we still come'.

My oldest birthday is new year, we send invites before xmas for a party the week after new year (first weekend back at school) and usually dont get replies until the week of the party.

If the invitations have gone into book bags it might be a few days before the invite is discovered especially as it's a BH weekend, people might not get round to doing the reading until say Monday when they would find the invite.

I usually respond as soon as I get home with the invite, either to say we can't come or to accept and add it to the calendar before something else comes in.

Invites out two to three weeks before the party, too early they get forgotten about. Put an rsvp date on them. Accept that there will be clashes with activities potentially other parties.

People can be shut at replying. I only did one while class Larry for this reason.

Don't cancel. People will come. Even if half the people you've invited come there will be plenty. You haven't given it long enough for people to reply - I bet plenty of families haven't even found the invite in their bag yet.

It sounds like you are feeling anxious and maybe your thoughts are rushing to the worst possible situation.

You've sent the invites out at an ideal time. Well done. Unless you have put an RSVP date then I would expect replies the week before. People will come. Don't worry. It's going to be a success.

Don't cancel, it will be fine, people will come. As long as you have a few children to bounce on your bouncy castle and sing happy birthday I'm sure DS will be happy.

But I wholly understand the anxiety, I get it. I wonder if there is something else going on that is driving the anxiety. If you want to talk about it on this thread it might help. My DC has suspected autism, she is a wonderfully kind and caring child but has only had 2 birthday invites in her 2 years at nursery and I feel sad about this. You don't say how long your DS has been at this nursery.

I think the other relevant factor is the impact of the pandemic on our ability to connect with other parents. I don't know about you, but all the masked up, socially distanced drop offs have had a big impact for me - it's my DC's last year of nursery and I'm only just getting to recognise some of the faces from drop off and pick up.

@Gruffling

I think already dealing with anxiety doesn’t help. As I do suffer with it quite badly.
I always think of worst case scenario and currently it’s that no one turns up and my poor DS feels rejected (and myself) and I’ll feel a total idiot, especially preparing food myself and getting all the bits for party bags etc.

Still no replies. Trying not to worry, but I’m the same as some of you have said on here, I’ll get an invite and I’ll reply pretty much straight away. So I guess I don’t understand.

There is also the possibility that my DS has autism, nothing diagnosed yet, but has been mentioned. He can be quite full on so I guess I’m concerned he’s not well liked or something.
Some of the children are new so probably don’t even know him (or me - the parents I mean) so that might be a factor.

Sorry to highjack the thread! But I'm in a similar situation . Ds is 5 soon and just started school. I've got about 8 family/ friends kids coming but the hall is huge. He's in a class of 30 but overall the year group is 60. I'm thinking do I put the invite out for all 60 or just his class? I'm thinking if very few out his class come then at least the other class can make the numbers up!

You’ve not even sent out the invitations yet tho have you? Sorry if I’ve misunderstood but you seem to be jumping the gun a bit with worrying

This! Send out the invites on Tuesday, put an RSVP by… date with your phone number. I recently did a 5yo party with 8 kids plus a few tag-along siblings and tbh it was perfect.