to think i am obscene?

[RosesandMoonshine]

I have suffered a weird sort of stress for two years, in that time i have somehow gone from being a nail biter to actually having no nails whatsoever. Like there is no remnant of nail left. Most of my fingers are open and sore and bitten, and there is no discernible nail left on any of my fingers.

I appreciate that this is bad, that I have a problem, but it is odd because it is a fairly solvable issue and my life isn't so bad at all. I am not struggling in obvious ways like money or abuse, etc.

However, I have, since my mother passed away, bitten my nails off completely and now have mangled stumps with sores and ripped skin. I have tried, time and again, to stop this, and it seems like I can't.
My hands are a mess, red and bloody and sore. My nail beds are destroyed and there is no remnant of nail there. If you google bitten nails, the pictures still show some nail. Mine are destroyed, like something out of a horror film. Sometimes I put short, false nails on, but the glue won't take as my nail bed is so mangled.

In real life I look ordinary and ok, you would never guess I have this fucked up secret. I hide them at all costs. Is there any way to trick the mind into stopping picking at hard skin? As I try so hard to quit eating them, the skin dries hard and tempts me to snig it off, opening up sores and more issues.

Could you try leaving one nail alone. Let that one grow? You'll still have the other ones to go to so it's not cold turkey. And you'll see how much better it looks and feels which may help motivate you to slowly reduce the behaviour.
I pick my feet and some toes have no nails. The only difference is that they are less accessible and less visible so easier to manage. I am better than I was and can even wear open two shoes. For many years I felt I couldn't as they looked so awful.
Pregnancy helped, as I couldn't get to them so easily. That doesn't help you, but maybe think of something to break the cycle.

Or the opposite and just nibble one and leave the rest?

I used to bite my nails very very badly. There was almost no nail left. Two things helped me: one was a friend who stopped biting hers, and I thought 'if she can do it, I can'. The other was vanity. Can you ask a friend to support you to stop biting them? Also, maybe start taking care of your hands carefully, looking after them rather than being ashamed of them. And yes, get counselling for the trauma you'e been through recently.

I bite my nails and pull my hair out. Have done it forever but really ramped up in my mid 30s and particular periods of stress and anxiety.
I have finally stopped habitually biting but I dip in and out. I can't stand having natural nails that are even slightly long. I bend, pick etc. So my nails are very short but no longer bleeding.
My system was the really repulsive anti-bite liquid. I mean the truly repulsive one that taints everything you touch. I'd suffer through it if I was having a really bad day but I didn't do as much damage.
I then got acrylic nails when the nails had recovered to the point where there was a nail for the acrylics to bond to. This means you literally cannot bite your nails. I got them infilled for 2 months and then, by the time they were taken off, my nails were a decent length. The compulsive urge to bite had gone by then, and I continued to use the foul nailbite stuff.
Now, I use that and also have an elastic band on my wrist which I ping when I get the urge to bite . Probably not the healthiest option but it has worked so far.
Still haven't cracked hair picking.

Hypnosis. Get a really good professional.

@RRosesandMoonshine would something like this help, maybe? I have had dermatillomania for over 30 yrs and I am going to try these out. Looks like it might be possible to type with them on.

Oh that looks sore OP. This might be a stupid idea but could you wear a mouth guard at home? Rather than focus on not putting your fingers in your mouth, stop yourself being able to bite? It's a really hard habit to break

Hypnotherapy

Couldn't you wrap each top of the finger in a plaster and leave it for a few weeks?

You need professional help. This isn't something you can sort out yourself.
There are professionals out there who can help you and I urge you to try to find one.
Basically, you need 'reprogramming'. It's hard and it's a lengthy process and you need the right type of support to help you through it.

In the meantime have you tried the elastic band thing? Put one round your wrist and whenever you get the urge to chew, twang the living fuck out of it.

It helped me deal with a habit but much less severe than your issue and the most important thing you can do is find help.
Good luck. 💐

Hypnotherapy cured my husband of a similar problem. He was totally sceptical about it but gave it a shot and it worked!

I do something similar. The worst time is when I’m watching tv. If its bad, I do something with my hands like crochet. Can you find a similar hobby?

I did bite my nails and skin around my nails my whole life, to the point it was bleeding, I couldn't properly use my fingers as it was that painful, I used to be deeply ashamed of my hands and hide them in all costs.

Then , my daughter asked me if we can go together to the nail salon, I was absolutely mortified of the thought of what are they gonna say.

Therefore I reduced the biting as much as I could for maybe 2 weeks before the visit and the result wasn't bad, but obviously fingers still not healed properly.

Then we went together in, they gave me a gel nail polish and for the first time ever, my nails looked quite well, it encouraged me so much that I completely stopped biting my nails and skin and my nails grew in one month so much that so haven't seem them like this in years.

And for a first time in years I wasn't ashamed of my hands.

I went few more times as it helped me to overcome the tension of biting and now I'm not even going anymore, doing my nails at home, they're still long and strong.

The feeling of not having to hide your hands anymore, the pain- free feeling is amazing.

By that saying I mean that you need to find something that will help you to overcome the first few weeks and let the fingers and nails heal and grow.
Wrap then in the plasters, wear gloves over it, every single time you have the tension to start biting, stop yourself- distract yourself in something else, go for a walk, for a coffee with friend, the first few weeks is the worst, you need to embrace yourself and be tough and strict to yourself.

It is a strong habit and it's gonna be difficult and the beginning , it's all about changing the mindset, but it's not impossible op.💐💐

Good luck.🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀

Please don't blame yourself. I often wear plasters over my fingers for other reasons and the nails have time to replenish and strength them. Could that help?

Though I do advise talking to your GP. Xx