To be so embarrassed about this?

[TheLostNights]

Doing some work in a new department at a different base to cover staff absences.
All my life, I have been told I look incredibly young for my age. All my family do. My parents both look 10 years younger and my aunt who is in her fifties gets mistaken for early 40's.
Anyway, in a packed office one of the women called out and said 'How old are you? We have all been wondering.' I said 37 and there was a stunned silence and they asked me to repeat it so I did. Then it was all 'You're pulling my leg there is no way.' And 'WHAT?!' Literally the whole office was going mad at this revelation and I could feel myself getting redder and redder. I hate all the attention looking like a kid does. They all thought 22 or 23. I am 37 years old and sick of being treated like a kid. I knew they thought a lot younger previously as they asked me if I lived alone (not with a partner or kids) and kept calling me pet names. They were going on about it so much and looking at me as though I was like some weird freak amd even afterwards I could hear mini conversations going on about my age. Part of me is dreading going back on Monday. This is not a boast, who wants to look like a kid barely out of their teens when they are pushing 40? Who wants to be treated like a young kid by their peers because they assume you are so much younger than them? There's nothing to be envied about there.

I’m sure you appreciate that as much as you’re weirdly accusing a poster of lying or being delusional, you could be lying yourself.

I’ve never asked anyone how old I look since I was a teen and trying to pass for 18.

You don’t seem to get how it works. People volunteer the information without you having asked or even being interested.

In what way am I lying? I do know who one of the posters is for definite, and I do know for definite how old they are. I also know what they look like. I'm not sure where the lying could be.....

Why tell them your age? "That's for me to know, and you not" is what I say. If people treat you differently that means they are being unprofessional. I imagine you'll be going back to your usual base as you said you are covering for staff absences.

Some people do.....

Is it one of the posters claiming to look decades younger?

You could be inventing the whole thing, just as much as you’re accusing another poster of lying.

It's the Internet... We all could.

OP didn’t.. which is rather the point of the thread.

Exactly.

No, not decades. But definitely younger, yes. They look their age and there's nothing wrong with that, but it's a tad delusional to think that everyone thinks they look quite a bit younger (and not just a year or two).

I'm the same but I love it. I think 25 year olds can be taken seriously. I don't mind looking 25 at 40. I don't want to look 40.

My cousin looks young for her age, there's 18 months between us but she looks early twenties.

We are mid 30s and I look roughly my age, maybe slightly younger. I don't mind looking my age though!

I would think though op about how you are coming across...are you coming across self conscious? How do you wear your hair? What clothes do you wear? Despite looking young you can certainly do more to help show your maturity if that makes sense? Eg professional dress in the workplace, subtle make up, groomed hair eg a wavy bob rather than a ponytail..

It sounds so unlikely though, does it not? If everyone genuinely thought op looked 20ish, why ask?
Why announce that everyone had been wondering how old she was, unless there was some indication that all wasn't as it seemed? And where could that have originated...

On that basis we might as well not bother posting on Mumsnet at all.
I don't why you're worrying though - you've mentioned being 50 in an earlier post and I've mentioned 40s so it's definitely not you 😀(But you don't look a day over 21 😉)

If it makes you feel better I had a child at 18, who is now about the age many people expect me to be. That causes a lot of speculation and gossip. I’ve had school mums practically interrogate me. Really rude comment too.

Some people do look decade's younger. My friend is a tradie and every single day customers assume he's an 18 year old apprentice, and that's only because he's doing the job or they'd think he were even younger. He still gets asked for ID for energy drinks despite just turning 34

No I don’t think it does sound unlikely. They asked because they couldn’t work it out. It may be to do with relative seniority of a role vs how old she looked.

Ime people do say exactly the kind of thing OP described. It can be speculation about heritage or sexual orientation as much as age.

I’ve met people that I’ve no idea how old they are.

🤣

People can look young for their age but if anyone is actually saying that there’s people who are almost 40 and could pass for a teenager/ early 20s, as in could walk into a school or college pretending to be a student and nobody bats an eyelid, that people who are actually that age think you are in their peer group or if their parents saw you with them they would think you were just part of the gang…that doesn’t happen. Getting asked for ID or having older people comment that you look young is not the same thing.
I believe people when they say they get a lot of comments about looking young but that doesn’t mean you literally look decades younger than you are. People exaggerate. Same as they say about someone attractive oh my god you could be a model or if somebody looked a bit like a celebrity, they were like so and so’s double.
There’s only so young you can be in the workplace. Companies don’t hire fourteen year olds so I don’t know how much it can possibly affect your career to look on the young side. If it’s the case that you’re being undermined or bullied that’s a different issue.
When you are in your 30s, you are in fact relatively young and sometimes it is older people reacting to this.
If you honestly think you look 18 in your 30s, go stand beside an actual 18 year old and take a selfie. I don’t mean that in a nasty way but seriously, time doesn’t just stop for some people. Regardless of looks, older people don’t dress or speak the same way as a teenager does. When it comes down to it, almost everyone can tell the difference between a mature adult and a very young adult no matter what they say.

I do get it I look young for my age I'm 35 but often get mistaken for a lot younger I also think it's my personality as well. I have the same voice I did when I was 10 I swear 😂 but also it makes Me feel like 35 is so old!! When it's not . They say "you don't look that old!" Etc... but it's not old! So I may look young but get made to feel like im 100

as in could walk into a school or college pretending to be a student and nobody bats an eyelid, that people who are actually that age think you are in their peer group or if their parents saw you with them they would think you were just part of the gang…that doesn’t happen.

It does happen and someone has made a film about exactly that called: “My Old School”. It’s also not unheard of among refugees, if they claim to be a teenager they get access to education.

If you honestly think you look 18 in your 30s, go stand beside an actual 18 year old and take a selfie. I don’t mean that in a nasty way but seriously, time doesn’t just stop for some people

I don’t mean this in a nasty way but why are you’re this invested in people’s age on the internet? Maybe you need to look at your attitude to aging? I’ve seen some 18 year olds look 30 and some 30 year olds look 18.

You make the same mistake as a pp assuming that this is about people walking around thinking they look young. I just walk around trying not to fall over. Some people give random feedback I haven’t asked for. Perhaps they mean it to be complimentary, but like the OP it just feels to me like I come across as not having my shit together.

And y’know if it hadn’t happened to me personally maybe I would say the same - 10 years fine but not 20. But from my experience now I’d say that with some people it’s actually hard to tell how old they are if you don’t know their context. And how old someone appears depends as much on their mien, behaviour, character, attitude, as their visual appearance.

I just made a couple of comments on a public forum which I’m entitled to do. Seems to me that you’re the one who’s “invested”.