DIL has a few mental health issues and takes numerous medication. She sometimes appears very quiet and vacant, I understand this is probably the side effects of her medication.
DH and I are always friendly and ask her if she’s ok, try and make polite conversation etc. Last week they visited and she was particularly ‘off’. I asked if she was ok and she just glanced and muttered something then looked away. She spent the rest of the visit silent.
On the phone later I said to my son, if she doesn’t feel like she wants to engage in conversation that’s fine, but it makes me uncomfortable that she just sits there silently. Maybe she shouldn’t visit if she doesn’t want to engage in conversation and hopefully we can see her when she’s feeling a bit better.
We have tried to support her but she won’t discuss anything with us, which of course is her choice, but makes it harder for us to understand and support her.
Today we were at a family function and she blanked both DH and I. We tried to make conversation and she just looked at us like something she’d trodden in and ignored us.
DH said to DS why is she so rude to us? And he said because she felt we should apologise for suggesting she shouldn’t visit if she’s going to sit there in silence.
im not sure who is being unreasonable?
AIBU?
DIL is really miserable
UppityDIL · 10/09/2022 16:32
Am I being unreasonable?
1314 votes. Final results.
POLLOrangejuggler · 10/09/2022 17:11
I think some posters are being overly harsh to the OP.
I have MH issues. It frustrates me that my older relatives sometimes say insensitive things, but not everyone is a MH expert.
it’s a really difficult thing for people to understand when they see someone who appears healthy. It’s an invisible illness and dare I say it can make the sufferer appear rude and selfish.
the OP didn’t say the right thing, but think calling her ‘vile’ is way over the top.
OP- perhaps you should apologise for hurting her feelings? Engage with your DIL and talk about her issues.
Benjispruce4 · 10/09/2022 19:35
What does your son think?
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.