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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To rehome my puppy or stick it out

85 replies

Boujisboo · 08/09/2022 09:00

I got a second puppy (already have a 2 year old)
I absolutely adore him to pieces but he’s very hard and different to my first. He isn’t taking to toilet training well, he’s eating his own poo, plus I’m working And have recently broken my hand which makes it harder. He’s 16 weeks and lovely but I’m finding myself getting angry with him for doing puppy things because it’s so hard with my hand.
mow my 2 year old is starting to just puss in then house too!
my ds will be distraught and probably never forgive me but I just don’t know if I can do it anymore even though I know I’ll miss him terribly

OP posts:

BadNomad · 08/09/2022 09:05

What breed is he?

Moneymoneymoney1979 · 08/09/2022 09:07

Stick it out but ask people to help while hand is injured. I nearly gave up my dog when she was a puppy. So, so glad I didn't but it was hell for a while.

Brideandpredjudice · 08/09/2022 09:08

YABU. Why get a puppy if you're not willing to put the work in?

Moneymoneymoney1979 · 08/09/2022 09:09

Still early days for toilet training. Eating poo indicates boredom, something lacking nutritionally or an unclean breeder.

Buildingthefuture · 08/09/2022 09:10

Rehome him to where exactly? Rescue centres are full, staff and volunteers are at breaking point, healthy dogs are being euthanised every day. He sounds like a typical puppy, you need to do the work to train him.

MaryLennoxsScowl · 08/09/2022 09:11

You must have known you’d be working though. You could ask for sick leave due to your hand, perhaps? Your GP might sign you off if you explain you can’t cope. How old is your DS? Do you have a partner or any family nearby who could help while your hand is healing?

NovaDeltas · 08/09/2022 09:12

For what it's worth I never forgave my mother for rehoming our puppy because it ate a bit of poo.

How about you actually put the work in instead of being the sort of person who gets a puppy then chucks it at a shelter because you're working?

XCTX · 08/09/2022 09:17

Stick it out. I completely sympathise - puppies are bloody hard work and some are just harder than others. I have a 5 month old here who is really resisting toilet training and like yours eating his own droppings, its grim.

However, nothing from what you've said is abnormal puppy behvaiour! It feels really tight to rehome a pupster for things that in the long run are easily fixable. Remember he's just a little babby who doesn't know he's doing wrong yet. It takes time to redirect them.

Agree with PP whilst your hand is broken you do absolutely need help. I'm raising my guy alone and if i didn't have my family to support I'd be going stir crazy.

Please, please reach out for help and take some time to step back and breathe before you knee jerk into rehoming. You're here because you care and you love him. Just take each day as it comes and you'll see the overall trajectory is positive!

Magicpaintbrush · 08/09/2022 09:30

Flipping heck OP - if your puppy is only four months old then you've barely had him any time at all and you're already thinking about giving him up? I'm sorry but that is really flaky and it smacks of someone who bought a puppy on whim without being really committed or thinking it all through. I mean you've had him five minutes - everyone knows puppies are hard work, it's not like taking back a pair of shoes to a shop because you've changed your mind, it's not on.

KangarooKenny · 08/09/2022 09:34

Your older dog is toileting inside because you’re not cleaning up well enough to get rid of the smell. You need special cleaner , and to do it thoroughly. Also, get the dogs out so there are no accidents inside. Start by going out every 15 minutes, until you can guess when they are going to need to go.

Bananarama21 · 08/09/2022 09:34

Poor dog I wish people would consider their circumstances before getting a puppy its a commitment for the next 10-14 years. Its not fair on the animal.

Magicpaintbrush · 08/09/2022 09:35

Also fwiw I do sympathise that you have broken your hand because it must be nightmare even getting dressed with a broken hand, but I think the answer is to get some help. One day your hand will be healed and you might then regret that puppy is gone.

WelcomeEverythingIsFine · 08/09/2022 09:36

There is so much wrong with this. If you really can’t cope, if you got the pup from a reputable breeder then they should take him back. However it’s incredibly irresponsible and it will be traumatic for the poor puppy, not to mention your DS. You can hire a trainer to help you manage pups behaviour, and get your DS to help with practical things if your hand is bad. Get an enclosure to keep their wandering space limited, and take them out on the hour every hour and reward when they go outside. Ignore inside accidents, and you have to be quick to clean up so they can’t eat it. It’s a very common issue though, some grow out of it.

Qwerkie · 08/09/2022 09:38

You don’t even have the excuse of being a first time dog owner. Puppies are bloody hard work and most of them are arseholes until they’re about a year to 18 months old.

you need to put the work in

littlepeas · 08/09/2022 09:39

Normal puppy behaviour.

Sd352 · 08/09/2022 09:40

The 16 week stage is tough. There were many tears from me at the 12-16 week age. For the poo eating, anti coprophagia chews worked really well and the pup thought they were treats! For the accidents (16 weeks seems normal to not be fully potty trained), make sure you use enzymatic cleanser. Your older one may be going inside from an instinctual thing to mask the smell of the pup — it’s a protective instinct. The enzymatic cleaners should break down the residual organic elements and make repetition less likely.

is your DS old enough to take the puppy out to the garden? Do you have a partner, friends, parents that could help out? The next month will probably be the hardest but don’t rehome him for just being a puppy!

bozzabollix · 08/09/2022 09:42

My puppy is almost six months old. It’s hard work, but each and every day gets easier.

Obviously you didn’t plan to break your hand which makes it a billion times harder but surely you factored in that puppies are bloody hard work? But at the end you do get a lovely dog.

Stick in there, there are always times where you feel overwhelmed but they go.

KimmySchmitt · 08/09/2022 09:44

Okay, so I have some sympathy. I got a very difficult puppy a couple of years ago and at the 10 week point was upset and considering sending her back to the breeder as I wasn't sure we were the right home for her (she is now my favourite thing on Earth). But by 16 weeks you've committed really. You're his home. If your first puppy was very easy you might have had a false sense of puppyhood. When you say he's not taking to toilet training, are you sure you're training properly? Maybe pup 1 just took to it and you haven't realised how much effort it can be? Have you signed up for proper puppy classes from a professional trainer? With puppies it's not them that tends to be responding to training incorrectly, it's usually the human that isn't teaching them properly.

Do you have any adult support? While your hand is broken can you afford to pay for any help, e.g. cleaner to ensure the stains are totally removed, some sort of doggy daycare for one or both of the dogs? (Not always a good solution but we have a fabulous doggy daycare who've looked after mine since 14 weeks, it's her second home). If you're working you should probably have considered a doggy daycare anyway since your puppy won't be able to be left all day.

For online support, the Puppy Survival thread on the Doghouse was really supportive, and the Facebook group Dog Training Advice and Support is fantastic for advice.

CakeMonster1 · 08/09/2022 09:48

What on earth.....

Would you get rid of a second baby if you couldn't cope? May sound harsh but you've chosen to get another puppy and seems like you've not thought this through. Dogs can live to a good old age, you should know as already have one so should have done your homework on adding a 2nd to the mix.

You've not given this little pup a chance, dogs are hard work. Trust me we have 4 and would never ever consider getting rid as dogs are family.

A broken hand shouldn't stop you looking after it. İt's a lame excuse tbh
Not sure of the breed but a lot of dogs eat their own poop for a number of reasons, we have a lot of friends with rescued hunting dogs that do this.

Please don't give up on this dog, it's unfair it really is. You got this pup and it's now your responsibility so you need to step up and put the work in. As for your other dog beginning to urinate in the house, this could be due to the stress it's sensing and also as stated above due to insufficient cleaning of the urine from the pup so the dog is remarking the area.

Feel so sorry for the pup especially as you've stated you are getting angry with him wtf angry at a few month old puppy? Just wow...you haven't even given the little fellow a chance.

KentuckyDerbyandJoan · 08/09/2022 09:49

NovaDeltas · 08/09/2022 09:12

For what it's worth I never forgave my mother for rehoming our puppy because it ate a bit of poo.

How about you actually put the work in instead of being the sort of person who gets a puppy then chucks it at a shelter because you're working?

This
poor puppy

bellalou1234 · 08/09/2022 09:50

I'm in same boat op.. 15 month and a puppy. I lost my older dog this yeah and thought another one would be company and easier.

Dontstopmenowimhavingaball · 08/09/2022 09:51

Rehome it to someone that wants a puppy and is happy to put the work in

StarDolphins · 08/09/2022 09:52

Rescue centres are completely full to the brim.

surely you must’ve mentally agreed to the commitment of a puppy when you got one? They are hard work but this is why you should think long & hard before getting a dog/puppy.

This makes me so sad & this is why rescue centres are full with long waiting lists.

Thistleinthenight · 08/09/2022 09:54

Have done fucking pity people, and stop repeating each other.,Try to offer actual advice and support, FFS. And if you want to help DOGS, don't whip their owners, regardless of their inexperience level or foresight.

Op I would, but I'm no dog expert. I'm sure you'll work it out and get through this phase.

TheHumanExperience · 08/09/2022 09:54

I house trained my puppy in week. 7 years later and she's never had an accident in the house.

What did I do? I treated the task like a full time job.
Puppy was crate trained into a crate not too big. This way she had her safe space where she was happy.

Nighttime: Every time she came out of her crate (overnight) she was picked up and carried to the garden. This didn't allow accidents en route. Any noise during the night from pup, I immediately shot up (no matter how tired, raining etc), quickly downstairs (no words to pup), carried pup to the garden and waited in silence. No other interaction just a calm good girl when toileted, nothing more and back into her crate until morning. Unless of course she barked again. Then it was up again. The investment was worth it.

Daytime: I turned into a hawk. Tied to me with an indoor training lead a puppy will ALWAYS give sign they need to go.

Daytime: After ever drink and every meal, straight out into the garden. No words, just wait and watch until the deed is done. Then crazy praise and a tiny treat STRAIGHT after.

Then moving forward, when she was toileting I add a word.... we used wee wee, or quickly, every time she went. Followed by the praise and infrequent treat reward.

She now goes on command.

A second dog especially a puppy, is a little like having a second child. Sounds like a great idea, but in reality is so much harder than you thought. You must have evaluated this before buying a new puppy. It's only fair to put the required work in, to give the pup the very best chance of having a loving secure home for life.

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