Page 3 | To rehome my puppy or stick it out

Boujisboo · 2022-09-08T08:00:40+00:00

I got a second puppy (already have a 2 year old) I absolutely adore him to pieces but he’s very hard and different to my first. He isn’t taking to toilet training well, he’s eating his own poo, plus I’m working And have recently broken my hand which makes it harder. He’s 16 weeks and lovely but I’m finding myself getting angry with him for doing puppy things because it’s so hard with my hand. mow my 2 year old is starting to just puss in then house too! my ds will be distraught and probably never forgive me but I just don’t know if I can do it anymore even though I know I’ll miss him terribly

Choconut · 08/09/2022 15:34

Would a puppy pen work to put him in while you are on calls and can't watch him? That way you don't end up with poo everywhere.

Fearneyox · 08/09/2022 16:35

He’s still so young so give him a chance. Do not do discipline/fear led training, eg: shouting when he’s naughty, this will just make him fearful and sad. The best ways to train a puppy are distraction and positive reinforcement.

Example: if he poops indoors and you’re there to see it, instead of shouting (it never works), very quickly clean the poo up then distract him with a toy. He’s getting himself into a bad habit with the poo eating, so by distracting immediately after, he will forget that when he poos he eats it, and will stop doing it. He’ll just poo then be like ‘right, where’s my toy?’ He will forget his bad habit because he has been distracted into his new habit = poo then toy. The toy needs to be one he has access to at all times - this isn’t praise or the reward of a new toy, it is distraction. Never distract the bad behaviour with a treat, this is only for good behaviour and is his reward. For bad behaviour, distract with a toy and create the new habit.

Basically:

He tries to do something bad (like eat his poo) = distract with toys.
He does something good (like toileting outside) = give a treat.

The other big thing is consistency consistency consistency. Good luck!!

Also use chopped up raw carrot as a treat. Much healthier and great for their teeth. Obesity in dogs is a huge issue at the minute, but that’s off topic!

Original poster

Boujisboo · 08/09/2022 20:08

dontgobaconmyheart · 08/09/2022 14:52

What breed of dog is he? (show us a pic OP!)

It's bloody hard OP. I've got a 6 month old pup and he is hard work at the best of times but is unwell with a cone (that he hates) on at the moment with a urine infection and needs constant supervision. I have a chronic illness which of course is particularly bad at the moment as luck would have it. Obviously I adore him and will do what needs to be done but that absolutely doesn't mean it isn't ok to be at the end of your tether or cry in frustration. When you are struggling to cope with the situation I think its very normal to imagine 'giving up' the dog. That doesn't mean you will or that you really want to, it just means you can't cope with the situation as it is.

How old is your DS? can he occupy the puppy with appropriate playtime until it's sleepy while you sit down, have a tea and take some painkillers. Pup should be sleeping the majority of the day at that age and if it isn't then I'd really recommend enforcing naps (much easier if you crate train), or restricting the areas of the house the pup is allowed in - stair gates, a pen, whatever works in your home. When ours was little I found the worst of his behaviour stemmed from him being overtired. It would also prevent him from being able to mess all over the home.

In terms of eating his poo, I would ensure he is getting enough protein in his diet. Puppies need high protein diets to effectively grow and some dog foods are full of rubbish, which can lead to puppies 'looking' for other sources of protein, eg their poo. Pick it up straight away in the house.

Take him outside any time he has had a drink, and immediately after eating or playing as well as as soon as he wakes up from any nap and start to introduce a toilet command, lots of praise with a high value reward (chicken, or something he loves) when he goes. They can't hold their bowel or bladder for long until they're much older which isn't within their control. Absolutely vital to get an enzyme based cleaner specifically for pet urine for the cleaning. The Dr Beckmanns one is brilliant and only a few pounds. If this isn't done the dogs will return to the same spots to toilet time and time again.

Don't forget yourself here OP, if the pain relief you have for your hand isn't working then get on to the GP for something that does. It will all pass eventually. Try to find time to enjoy him and appreciate how cute he is in an intentional way. If it all feels negative the cumulative effect is much worse.

Thank you and to all the other lovely posts iv got lots of new tips.

im working from home tomorrow and will make sure I keep my eye on all times
been to pets at home and have brought a little gadget for out in the garden that I will take him to after meals and drinks
im going to stop expecting him to go on walks as iv actually realised they are too stimulating for him especially with my other dog too
iv brought a little puppy pad thing for indoors for when I’m at work (I work school hours but lots of working home so rarely left with my other dog for more than 2 hours)
iv decided to put their toys and things in the kitchen which is small when im
gone,
will buy the chews for poop eating and I do have enzyme spray so will continue with that and make sure it’s clean when it’s done

iv dropped the ball since I hurt my hand been feeling quite down but all the tips have helped me see there is hope and it is temporary. He is a lovely boy just very clever and active so he needs more stimulation had a word with ds and he is going to take them out after school round the block with his friend to help entertain them
i had a panic today as I felt so angry and annoyed at the poop I worried I couldn’t take care of him and give him what he needs if that were the case then yes I would rather rehome him as a pup where he could have a chance at building a relationship. And for the record I have about 4 family members all begging me to have him so it would never have been a dog home

OP posts:

Original poster

Boujisboo · 08/09/2022 20:09

Where iv had time off work and struggling financially so that hasn’t helped

OP posts:

Original poster

Boujisboo · 08/09/2022 20:11

Fearneyox · 08/09/2022 16:35

He’s still so young so give him a chance. Do not do discipline/fear led training, eg: shouting when he’s naughty, this will just make him fearful and sad. The best ways to train a puppy are distraction and positive reinforcement.

Example: if he poops indoors and you’re there to see it, instead of shouting (it never works), very quickly clean the poo up then distract him with a toy. He’s getting himself into a bad habit with the poo eating, so by distracting immediately after, he will forget that when he poos he eats it, and will stop doing it. He’ll just poo then be like ‘right, where’s my toy?’ He will forget his bad habit because he has been distracted into his new habit = poo then toy. The toy needs to be one he has access to at all times - this isn’t praise or the reward of a new toy, it is distraction. Never distract the bad behaviour with a treat, this is only for good behaviour and is his reward. For bad behaviour, distract with a toy and create the new habit.

Basically:

He tries to do something bad (like eat his poo) = distract with toys.
He does something good (like toileting outside) = give a treat.

The other big thing is consistency consistency consistency. Good luck!!

Also use chopped up raw carrot as a treat. Much healthier and great for their teeth. Obesity in dogs is a huge issue at the minute, but that’s off topic!

These are great tips thank you. Shamefully I have been saying oh ffs and then rushing to clean it before it makes me vomit

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Frances658 · 08/09/2022 20:34

I'd definitely get some help whilst your hand heals. Do you have anyone local who does puppy visits? Dog walkers sometimes do them, if they're not fully booked for walks. Alternatively, anyone who pet sits might do them, as you don't need someone who has the licence for dog walking.

Frances658 · 08/09/2022 20:41

I've read through your posts and I don't think you mention you use a crate at all? I would definitely crate train him if you haven't already. I know some people don't agree with using a crate, but given you situation, I think it would make your life much much easier. If you've got a work call for example, and you can't give him your full attention, a crate would be so so useful.

LolaButt · 08/09/2022 20:48

Sounds like you’re having a rough ride. Trying to walk two dogs with a messed up hand is not the best.

Sounds like Mr Puppy has been given too much freedom in the house too soon. He’s not housetrained so shouldn’t be given the run of the house. I’m not great with crates but as others have said, a pen is a great idea.

Subaru4336 · 08/09/2022 20:51

Is he crate trained? If so, if you're not able to supervise him, e.g., when you're on calls, crate him. He'll likely sleep as he's so young, and pups sleep the majority of a 24hr period. Then you can take him outside when you're done. Anytime you can't watch him, put him in the crate, otherwise you're just setting him up to fail.

crochetmonkey74 · 08/09/2022 20:56

I removed at a similar time OP. I had done lots of research, really prepared etc but the real day to day relentlessness got me down. Mine ate poo too and it was making me sick several times a day. I was really guilt ridden, until a friend said "it's just a dog"
The fact is that not every dog suits every household. It's not like abandoning a child as some Pps have said here.

takemetomars · 08/09/2022 20:58

TheHumanExperience · 08/09/2022 09:54

I house trained my puppy in week. 7 years later and she's never had an accident in the house.

What did I do? I treated the task like a full time job.
Puppy was crate trained into a crate not too big. This way she had her safe space where she was happy.

Nighttime: Every time she came out of her crate (overnight) she was picked up and carried to the garden. This didn't allow accidents en route. Any noise during the night from pup, I immediately shot up (no matter how tired, raining etc), quickly downstairs (no words to pup), carried pup to the garden and waited in silence. No other interaction just a calm good girl when toileted, nothing more and back into her crate until morning. Unless of course she barked again. Then it was up again. The investment was worth it.

Daytime: I turned into a hawk. Tied to me with an indoor training lead a puppy will ALWAYS give sign they need to go.

Daytime: After ever drink and every meal, straight out into the garden. No words, just wait and watch until the deed is done. Then crazy praise and a tiny treat STRAIGHT after.

Then moving forward, when she was toileting I add a word.... we used wee wee, or quickly, every time she went. Followed by the praise and infrequent treat reward.

She now goes on command.

A second dog especially a puppy, is a little like having a second child. Sounds like a great idea, but in reality is so much harder than you thought. You must have evaluated this before buying a new puppy. It's only fair to put the required work in, to give the pup the very best chance of having a loving secure home for life.

This is the effort we have put in to both of ours (18 months old and 7 months old). I really don't understand anyone who doesn't tbh

Original poster

Boujisboo · 09/09/2022 07:59

Update

so last night I kept then
in the upstairs hall with a stair gate as that’s quite enclosed and I couldn’t put the gate up.

took them out first thing and they both weed which was so good and gave them loads of praise and sweets! Came in done their breakfast and looked and saw a big poo on sofa. He did go to eat it I said no and he walked off so I could pick it up.

whilst doing so big wee on the floor. I just cleared it up.
will get pen out today and keep going!

OP posts:

Original poster

Boujisboo · 09/09/2022 08:00

Subaru4336 · 08/09/2022 20:51

Is he crate trained? If so, if you're not able to supervise him, e.g., when you're on calls, crate him. He'll likely sleep as he's so young, and pups sleep the majority of a 24hr period. Then you can take him outside when you're done. Anytime you can't watch him, put him in the crate, otherwise you're just setting him up to fail.

He’s not I got heavily criticise for it by my family and gave in! Regretting it now

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Original poster

Boujisboo · 09/09/2022 08:04

Will set the big play pen up but by bit throughout today to put him in when I’m even in kitchen for mow.
do you think I should just do this through the day (as sleep in hallway with my big dog is working well

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Fearneyox · 09/09/2022 08:15

I always caution again puppy pads, they’re very confusing for a puppy as they’re being constantly told to not go inside the house, but suddenly they can go on this soft piece of floor? But not the rest of the floor? It can sometimes make things harder and more confusing for them. If you have wipeable floors I’d bin the puppy pads and stick it out, obviously if you want to save your carpets though that’s fair enough 😅 good luck x

Fearneyox · 09/09/2022 08:17

Also there is nothing wrong with crate training. A lot of puppies actually see the crate as their safe space and grow to love it. Lots of mental stimulation (snuffle mats etc) and play before you crate and a few toys inside it and most puppies will settle nicely in them x

Original poster

Boujisboo · 09/09/2022 08:24

Fearneyox · 09/09/2022 08:17

Also there is nothing wrong with crate training. A lot of puppies actually see the crate as their safe space and grow to love it. Lots of mental stimulation (snuffle mats etc) and play before you crate and a few toys inside it and most puppies will settle nicely in them x

I did it with my elder one and he was very good with toilet training I think this one really needs it. I have a dog pen and can’t really afford a crate right now so will use that it’s just open wired will make it all nice for him x

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Original poster

Boujisboo · 09/09/2022 08:25

Fearneyox · 09/09/2022 08:15

I always caution again puppy pads, they’re very confusing for a puppy as they’re being constantly told to not go inside the house, but suddenly they can go on this soft piece of floor? But not the rest of the floor? It can sometimes make things harder and more confusing for them. If you have wipeable floors I’d bin the puppy pads and stick it out, obviously if you want to save your carpets though that’s fair enough 😅 good luck x

I know but a friend suggested one in the same place all the time I won’t be upset if it doesn’t work as Kitcgen is laminate

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Fearneyox · 09/09/2022 08:32

Sounds great, do what YOU want to do regarding the crate/pen - it’s your sanity at the end of the day. A question you asked earlier - I’d only crate when you are not with him personally, if you’re in the kitchen I’d let him mooch about with you so he has some stimulation and so you can jump on him with the pooping if necessary x

HairyMothballs · 09/09/2022 08:43

When you got the puppy (I presume at 12 weeks?), you must have known how long he's likely to live, and what his needs are? And you're fed-up with his behaviour already? Could you get a trainer?

Just remember - you've got a partner/friends/relatives/workmates/neighbours/social media/tv, etc., etc. The puppy has been taken from his mum and siblings, and only has YOU

KarmaStar · 09/09/2022 11:16

The puppy blues is common,if you are usually a loving,responsible,caring owner then stick with it.if you arent,or can't be,re home the poor pup.
these are very important weeks for your pup,he's learning all the time so you need to get rid of the taking your pain out on the pup for immediate starters.He won't forget any good turns or any bad ones.
bond with him.put time into his training,get a routine going for both dogs ,they love routine,and this includes back to basics with both about toilet training.pup will copy older dog so toilet training now is essential,after food,drinks,sleeps,games,out you go into the garden,see them circle and sniff indoors,out you go..
it is hard work but so worth it.

Cw112 · 09/09/2022 13:08

They are still so little and only learning. You need to preserve, you took this responsibility on when you decided to get the puppy. It's really hard going at the start our dog is really high energy breed who just turned 1 and it was tough at the start but now he's great. Things we found helped: crate training, keeping a bag of kibble always to hand to reward all positive behaviour, spend time training in quiet areas and then build up background distractions gradually, attend puppy and adolescent training classes, avoid losing your temper or scolding as gentle correction and positive reinforcement will serve better in the long run.

Original poster

Boujisboo · 09/09/2022 20:49

I did know what I was taking on I thoight for. Year before o got another one but I never expected to split with my partner and break my hand. Iv got some great advice from people who have understood this anf it’s really given me the stregnth to reset today and go at it with a fresh attitude. Iv taken him everywhere with me today and he’s had accidents of course but I feel these are in control and I’m on it and we are both progressing. He’s a lovely little thing and I could cry about how I felt yesterday.
but onwards and upwards and in realising it’s better for me if I have boundaries

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Brigante9 · 09/09/2022 21:26

Get rid of the puppy pads, allowing and encouraging peeing in the house just means he’ll be even harder to toilet train.

Crate train, it’s been great for my two, one of whom is destructive. You have to pick up poo immediately. One of mine really likes the older dog’s poo, it’s hideous! Try to get into a routine of morning toileting then picking up, crating him then supervise play time so you can prevent accidents/pick up poo asap. One of mine was 5 months before he was properly toilet trained (excited puppy pee pants, used to sprinkle with excitement, thank god it stopped!)

Puppy blues are awful. I’ve known so many people give away young puppies. Some are just so hard. Mine have finally decided that they’ll stay in bed quietly until I get up at 6.30 rather than squeak at 5, they’re a year old now. 🙈

ZuzuSusu · 09/09/2022 21:42

You're doing great OP. Puppy blues are so normal, can I ask what breed? We have a two year old dog of a known to be very stupid breed and she is just now fully potty trained. We do a puppy pad for her at night because she has a tiny bladder and we praise her for using it, she tries very hard to be good and use the pad. I'm so glad we stuck with it, when she went through her terror phase I was having mobility issues and all the training just went tits up, so very similar to your situation, it's sounds like you're doing a lot of fantastic and practical stuff to make things better.