To ask the nanny to clear up?

[nervousnelly8]

We have our nanny 3 full days per week. She's brilliant with the kids and we are all really happy. I have one bugbear - she never clears up. Breakfast and lunch dishes left out, toys everywhere, dirty paint stuff or crafting bits around, even used nappies rolled up and left on the side.

It's the kind of stuff that you do as you go along. Eldest DC is at pre-school in the morning and youngest still naps, so there's almost always 60-90 mins late morning to tidy up. DH or I arrive home 30-60mins before her official "finish" time (we've had to build it that way as we have unpredictable commutes), and she leaves once we are back.

I would like to ask her to stay and tidy away the mess from the day. DH doesn't want to rock the boat and is happy with us (me) spending an hour after kids bedtime clearing up the house. I would always rather that she spent her time doing fun activities with the kids (which she does perfectly) but I'm getting really resentful of paying for extra time and also losing my evening to tidying. AIBU?

Agree with other posters, as someone who has worked as a nanny and hired a nanny. It's part and parcel of their job. Leaving a dirty nappy on the side is just lazy and gross. Just tell her that this is what you expect whilst saying that in all other regards, you're happy with her performance.

She's not a worn out SAHP who is too tired to load the dishwasher!

And just to clarify before anyone comes for me, I've also been a SAHP too tired to load the dishwasher! 😀

I don’t think the nanny should do things like the parent’s breakfast dishes if they were still out or even dusting, but I would agree with everyone saying the house should be left it the same condition as she found it in. Throwing nappies in the bin would be a definite requirement, as well as cleaning up toys and dishes used at lunchtime.

If you arrive home half an hour early go to the pub or the coffee shop and just have a little bit of decompression time are used to sit in the car and have a fag until it was Nanny‘s home time.

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Im just filing for divorce with 3 boys and the reality of it is just hitting me. Long story abusive and cheating husband. Any ppl n the same situation as me. Feel so alone 😭

You can do better than this nanny OP - I’ve never heard of a nanny that left the house in such a state - totally unacceptable, sorry but I’m amazed you’ve kept her on this long.

on the flip side I once had an au pair who was great at tidying and really nice person but she was crap at playing with the kids! She just didn’t seem to be interested in them which was rubbish - but she was an au pair not a nanny so only did light childcare and she was only around for the summer anyway. But wouldn’t have been happy with a nanny like that either. I’m sorry, I know it’s hard.

He does the evening clear up for a month, then. Let’s see how he feels after that.

Presumably you teach (and expect) your kids to tidy up when they’re finished playing. That’s just basic stuff. So for a nanny to be so rubbish at it is kind of… unusual… and irritating. In fact, it would drive me insane. Who wants to come home to a home like a tip? And the used nappies? That’s just horrendous.
Tell her you’re more than happy with her childcare but you expect her to be teaching the kids about tidying up as she goes along.

The advantage of a nanny is that you don't have to commute the kids to daycare/childminder. But if you have to spend an hour tidying up their mess every day, including dirty diapers, then it removes the advantage and adds a disadvantage, compared to daycare/childminder. (Dirty diapers are left lying around? Really? That's totally unhygienic.) When my kid was in daycare, the house never got messed up during the week because he was never playing in it! So it seems to me that either your nanny learns how to tidy up after herself, or you put your children in daycare and enjoy being able to come home to a tidy home. A granny gets to play with the kids without tidying up after herself because she's family and unpaid (but even grandma's put dirty diapers in the trash bin or diaper genie). A nanny is paid, and is usually paid quite a lot, compared to taking the kids to a childminder. Tidying up after herself is part of her job.

That's rubbish.

Amyone that's old enough/mature enough to look after children & especially in a paid capacity should be old/mature enough to know to clean up after themselves & the little ones!!!

things like changing kids beds/doing laundry can be discussed as all families are different, but putting dishes in the dishwasher, wiping work surfaces, seeeping the floor if the kids have made a mess at lunch, putting toys away are all basics you'd expect from a nanny. You don't just play with the kids and leave the house a shit tip
ESPECIALLY when the parents have left it clean & tidy.

@nervousnelly8 I would just say to her that you're very happy that the kids are happy! (Etc etc) but could she please clean up after her/them (dishes in the dishwasher /whatever else) because you leave the house clean & tidy and need it to be left like that too. Say if she manages to do that as she goes she's welcome to leave once you get home, but if not she can always use the time until her finish time of x whilst the children are with you 😊

you shouldn't have to ask, but seems like you do! If DH objects, tell him you're just going to put the kids in the bath/go for a walk/play trains while HE cleans the house up!!

Is she really a great nanny? How do you know.

Another agreeing that she should clean as she goes and encourage kids to tidy as they go. This was in our nanny's contract.

In terms of the early finishes, we would often let our nanny finish early when we arrived back (to an exactly as we left it home) and because of this there was the odd occasion she would be happy to stay a bit longer if we were delayed in traffic.

I don't understand why she isn't cleaning/tidying as she goes and getting the DC (especially the older one) to help her. She should treat it as an 'activity'. Your DC need to learn that tidying is not just something that is done by mummy after her day at work, but instead everyone contributes to keeping the house they live in clean and tidy and a nice place to live.

I had a baby for 10 years (single mum , work full time)

It absolutely is their job to tidy up after the kids, to teach them to put their toys/activities stuff away)

Do not hesitate to have the conversation.

Nanny not baby

I’m a nanny, I work 3 days a week,7.30-4.30pm. I have sole care of a 14 month old and 3.5yr old. I load and unload dishwasher, wash the childrens clothes, take them on daily outings, prepare their meals, cook a family meal while 3.5yr old is at pre kindy, do crafts with them both ,and always make sure the kitchen is really tidy and toys tidied away. Your nanny is taking advantage and she absolutely knows it. If she says she doesn’t have time I’d find that hard to believe.Have a word with her, keep it light and smile but get across that she needs to leave the place as she found it. Resentment builds up when things are left unsaid, better to just tell her how you feel before you get to the point of wanting her to leave.

I would expect all child related housework and cleaning.

Even toilets. So no not scrubbing toilets daily, but if toddler makes a mess on toilet, then helping toddler clean and finish cleaning it herself, just like a parent would. Ready for toddler to use again

Nappies in bin, toys tidied, lunch mess in dishwasher are all very basic day to day things that should be done as it occurs.

Of course life happens, and same with Nanny. If there’s the odd day when baby was under weather and couldn’t be out down, or they had to take children somewhere straight after lunch and didn’t have time to clean 100% then it’s fine. But that shouldn’t be a daily thing.

Most nannies would also sort childrens laundry/ bedding which I know you said you didn’t ask for, but that saves parents a fair amount of time if they can. Even if you put load on first thing and nanny just hangs up/ folds later on.

Maybe your nanny doesn't have to do the housework, just look after the child. If you want your child to be fed and healthy and have the same nanny or housekeeper do the housework,

you need to contact myasiannanny.com/ to find a governess. Many nannies do not do the dishes and are only involved in the child's development or learning process. You will be lucky to find a good nanny who can negotiate payment. Try to find someone who will only take care of the baby and someone who will take care of the household.

I'd say it was a given that nappies go in the bin! If you need that pointed.out to you, you've no business in childcare!

OP YANBU

I'm a nanny and that is absolutely part of the job. I've never needed that to be spelled out for me either, it's basic common sense.

I discovered that the sentence, "She is wonderful with the children" was code for the fact that the house was a tip when the parents returned. One of my friends told me that the disorder was so great she didn't know where to start. It's easy to do fun things with children if you don't have to clean up.

First world problems eh..