To ask the nanny to clear up?

[nervousnelly8]

We have our nanny 3 full days per week. She's brilliant with the kids and we are all really happy. I have one bugbear - she never clears up. Breakfast and lunch dishes left out, toys everywhere, dirty paint stuff or crafting bits around, even used nappies rolled up and left on the side.

It's the kind of stuff that you do as you go along. Eldest DC is at pre-school in the morning and youngest still naps, so there's almost always 60-90 mins late morning to tidy up. DH or I arrive home 30-60mins before her official "finish" time (we've had to build it that way as we have unpredictable commutes), and she leaves once we are back.

I would like to ask her to stay and tidy away the mess from the day. DH doesn't want to rock the boat and is happy with us (me) spending an hour after kids bedtime clearing up the house. I would always rather that she spent her time doing fun activities with the kids (which she does perfectly) but I'm getting really resentful of paying for extra time and also losing my evening to tidying. AIBU?

I wouldn’t expect a nanny to do housekeeping or cleaning but I would expect them to keep the house as it was when they arrived. So if the kitchen is clean and tidy when they arrive it should be clean and tidy when they leave. Same with toys etc. And nappies should be tidied away as they are changed. I would just mention to her that it’s been going well but you prefer the house to be kept at the standard it is when she arrives barring special circumstances ie a crazy day where kids don’t nap/are ill or something.

Then tell him it's his job to spend an hour tidying up after the kids have gone to bed. I'm sure he'll be ready to approach her the following morning

it’s time to sit down and explain expectations. Just that on most days you would like the house in the same shape you left it at the end of the day. Nappies in the bin, etc. make it clear that if it’s an especially tough day, the kids should always be the priority, but that you want to be able to focus on the time you have with them in the evening, not on tidying up. Ask her if there are any particular things that make keeping things tidy difficult. If you have asked for complicated meal prep, be prepared to simplify. If your toy storage system is elaborate, would you be amenable to more general bins? That sort of thing.

i think it can be less awkward if you approach it as asking for her help in setting up for a successful evening with the kids.

This stuff is absolutely a standard part of a nanny’s job.

Can’t believe she is leaving used nappies for you to get rid of. Or breakfast/lunch stuff. Especially if she has a break at naptime and often finishes early!

I would say to her that you are very happy with the way she looks after the DC, but please can she tidy up any mess that gets made during the day. And of course you will leave it tidy for her in the mornings.

Don’t beat around the bush or say it offhand - be clear! You are not asking for anything remotely unreasonable.

That is absolutely part of her job to keep the house as it was when she arrived.

nappies, craft activities, cooking stuff etc, anything she has used should be put away or cleaned up.

you need to sit her down and explain your expectations because just leaving them is not acceptable.

I think it would be fair to ask her to tidy as she goes.

Leaving dirty nappies out is rank.

When is she washing her hands?

You could just say 'Would really appreciate it if you could encourage the kids to help you tidy up as it's something we are wanting to encourage and it would really help us to come home to a clean and tidy house. Thank you for all your hard work with the kids and your support with this.'

YANBU - I’ve always understood that this was part of a nanny’s job. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Arrange to have a chat when you get home (so she doesn't bolt off home early). During this chat ask her to stay until her official finish time. Say you are happy with her manner with the kids but now she's found her feet with getting to know them and the days routines you would like to see nappies in the bin (!), activities tidied away, etc. Say as you stated you don't expect her to do the kids laundry but basic stuff like nappies, pots, activities could she please do as she goes along. And ask her to stay to her finish time unless you expressly say she can leave early that day.

Even as a teenage babysitter I'd have put nappies in the bin and left the house as I found it!!

I've worked as a nanny, and it's HARD! Especially as it sounds like you have three young kids? And I would never normally risk losing a reliable nanny that you trust, and who your kids like.

BUT. Leaving early when there's still loads to do, and getting paid for it? That's ridiculous! Either you only pay her for the hours she works, or she finds something useful to do to make up the hours.

I think that a nanny does clean up childcare related messes created under her time slot. My neighbour was a live out nanny. She tidied up any mess made while she was there, the type of things you described, kids meals things, toys ect but she had nothing to do with the laundry or making beds or other housework. Although she did teach and expected the kids to make their own beds and put toys away
.

I dont think nannies should be doing cleaning as such. But she should certainly leave things tidy and clean. That is clear up after herself and DC's and she should be encouraging them to tidy away toys.

I would often get back before our nanny’s official finish time (again - commute issues). I would send a WhatsApp saying just a heads up I’ll be back shortly, heading upstairs and I’ll be back down to handover from you at x time. (I would then shower / read book / flop on bed for 20 mins!)
The beauty of a good nanny is coming back to a wonderfully clean home, so much better than it looks after a day of me at home with DC. She absolutely should be tidying as she goes and I hope this thread gives you the courage to sit down and chat through her duties with her.

The kids should be learning that they need to help tidy up after activities. Our nanny built this into the activity as they have to learn this stuff isn't just done by fairies. So it's not just for your benefit to address this with her.

The whole point in a nanny is to help not hinder. I'd have a friendly conversation with her and just explain what is expected etc. You are paying her afterall.

I worked as a nanny for 15 years, I cleared up anything to do with the kids and although not my job I would load/unload dishwasher etc and always made sure everything was tidy/put away before the parents got home.

Clarify in the contract what you expect her to do; have a discussion with her.

Yes she needs to clear away the mess she makes. It’s not hard and she is being snanky. She clearly has no idea though, so spell it out - plates in the dishwasher, toys in the box, nappies in x bin.

That’s good of you to do a housekeeper role too but a nanny wouldn’t usually do all that, it seems like you might enjoy it?

Our nanny simply would tidy up after play but no housework and put kids dishes in the dishwasher.

I was a professional nanny for over 20yrs. Now I’m a maternity nurse

yes she should tidy up and leave your home her ‘office’ clean and Tidy and how you left it

nanny duties are keeping areas she uses clean

leaving used nappies out is skanky

what duties does her contract say

but just say to her - I love it when uou paint - cook. - draw etx but please make sure the activities /toys are tidied away by the time you leave

Do you actually have a contract with her?

Nanny of over 20 years here..

Your nanny needs to learn how to clean as she goes along. It's absolutely fine for her to encourage the kids to help but not cleaning up - and then leaving early - is absolutely not ok.

My kids have always known that the next activity doesn't start until the previous one is completed (and that means tidied away!).

Have a gentle word with your nanny.

As a side note, she will REALLY appreciate the early finishes. This can be a real perk of the job, and I suggest keeping that if you can. But explain to her that early finishes are a privilege, and can only work if all the jobs are finished and the house is tidy.

You would be reasonable to expect the house more or less as you left it. Leaving dirty nappies lying around is not on, nor is leaving before her day has finished, whether you're home or not.

I would absolutely have a chat with her, just saying how much you love how good she is with the kids and how much they like her. That her finish time is Xpm and you'd appreciate it if she needs to leave early any day, she could run that past you, and you'd like to find the house as you left it. It's possible she's not really coping with the job, and this way you'll find out as things won't improve.

If your DH won't agree to you having a word with her, then absolutely, let him deal with the Nanny, including clearing up the mess she leaves behind her.

she leaves shitty nappies out thats disgusting

no she doesnt need to spring clean but throw tings away fs