If you married well financially

[Shakeandvacthefreshnessisback]

Or stay due to being financially comfortable..how’s life? Did you make the right decision?

I'm not sure who you're targeting this at. I did marry well financially but that's not why I'm with him or why I stay. He was a student when we met and is now doing well. I stay because I love him and our life as a family. I really benefit from the fact he earns well. It means I can work part time and spend more time with the children. On the other hand I do 90% of domestic chores as he works very long hours. I also dislike the fact we're all completely dependent on his salary. It's scary in a way. I plan to earn more when the children are older.

Absolutely the right decision for me and life is great Thank you.

BUT........I also love my DH very much.

Money does not keep us together.

I did marry well financially but I have always worked and had my own career/business. It is not why I am with him and I am madly in love with him but the fact that he was well off financially was definitely an attraction when I first met him in my 20s. We are now in our 40s. I absolutely made the right decision. We have 3 DC and I don't do any domestic chores at all which has allowed me to really enjoy my DC.

this thread is going to be hilarious. Why do you do it to yourself @Shakeandvacthefreshnessisback ?

This is the third thread I have read today about marriage and money. Very odd

One about poverty in the door love our the windows
One about seeing why women marry for money

I married well financially but that wasn't the case when we got together or for a long time so it wasn't the reason.

Also I've always had my own job even though our wages go into one pot.

@Shakeandvacthefreshnessisback
@thinking123

great I've walked straight into a daily mail story, not the first time here on MN

I met dh at 18, we are essentially each other's career coach so we both earn well and work full time. So yes it's worked out, but I wouldn't have cared if he'd had a less well paid job as long he didn't stand in the way of me doing my job.

Well, to help fill out the article...

Yes, I married financially. I married a man who worked on a building site, then went to university, became an engineer and now earns well. I started working in a pub, went to university, spent decades lecturing and am now self employed.

As we walk on stiffening knees into our 60s we congratulate ourselves that because we both did our share if the earning and saving we both married well financially.

Somehow though I doubt that equal partnerships are what is required!

Nearly everyone I know who could be said to have "married well" (ie very financially successful husbands) met their DHs at uni or shortly afterwards. That was also the case for me. So we were not aware we were 'marrying well' at the time, if you see what I mean.

For myself yes, I realise I've been very privileged. I haven't had to work in 20 years. No money worries because he's taken all that on and given us a wonderful life. I respect him for that more and more as I get older, to be honest. When you're younger, you don't realise the value of having a man who is driven to provide and is honest, dynamic and focused. I've been able to focus our kids and do whatever I want really. I have supported him a lot, but it was worth it.

How much money are we talking about?

and do you just mean women who married a man after he got his money?

I asked my husband, who married extremely well financially, and he says it's going great.

I’m fully intending on marrying an energy company boss for the next Mr Bess. I shall report back with findings.

High achievers tend to marry similar high achievers and brains marry similar brains. Therefore most financially secure relationships are equal and have not married for money.... but there are always exceptions to the rule and they occasionally last

I've been with DP for 5 years, lived together for 4. He had a successful career when I met him, as did I, but due to the sale of his business to a global company, he became a multi millionaire last year. We've bought a beautiful house together, it's in joint names with 50/50 ownership though I've contributed nothing financially and still own my own home, that's in my name only. The house is my security, I don't want to be married again. I do some consultancy work purely to keep my hand in

This will be interesting. I think op you will find that you need to define married well some folks will think that’s a dude earning fifty k. Others will think it means someone earning 300k.

Me too: he says he's having a lovely time, thank you very much. 😁

High achievers tend to marry similar high achievers and brains marry similar brains. Therefore most financially secure relationships are equal and have not married for money.... but there are always exceptions to the rule and they occasionally last

Absolutely agree with this.

Yeah it's going great, he's an interesting guy, I still like him.

Surely it depends. 2 people who met as broke students at uni and are now both high fliers in professional fields is very unlike a woman who specifically sought out a rich man. In anycase - love won't pay the energy bill so I'd say crack on

We were both penniless when we met and married, but my DH Is very happy that I have allowed him to live so well, with my financial success. Is that what you are asking here?

I'll bite. I married as a skint single Mum, a great guy who was solvent, was going to be a great Dad.
I did/do love him but I'll admit those were factors in my life goals of having a big family.

it's not always been easy as it wasn't a whip-your-knickers-off love match iyswim. But they don't always last do they?

My dh is a very high earner. But I would adore him just the same if he was unemployed. I would gladly give up anything for us both to continue to be happy and healthy.

I married well financially, I guess. That's not why I married him- although his being sensible with money was an attraction, I'll admit. My previous husband had gambled away our mortgage money, would walk out of jobs the minute he felt hard done by...so sensible with money was essential to me.

I loved him a lot- he was my best friend, and I had a great life- so long as I stuck to the 'arrangement'.

The 'arrangement' was that, as a SAHM, I did everything so that he could work. Work included flying abroad at 48 hours' notice, late nights, laptop on the minute he came home until he fell asleep over it and so on. 'Everything' included all housework, all work to do with ds2, all gardening, all DIY, all car maintenance stuff etc etc. He had nothing to do except the bins once a week, and maybe mow the lawn a couple of times in the summer.

As time went on I noticed that I was being treated more like a housekeeper/nanny/general dogsbody than a wife. I tried to discuss it many times, but there was always an excuse. He also started talking down to me.

In the end, I fell out of love with him and divorced him. I'm now with DP who doesn't earn a third of what XH does, but he makes me a thousand times happier.

The financial situation made me happier for a few years. But it wasn't enough to make me stay.

I married well financially. I also love him, which helps I guess? Definitely made the right decision despite not marrying him for his money. Life is sweet. I'm a SAHM with 2 DCs, living in a lovely home, drive a big car, have a place abroad and all the usual cliche stuff.

But crappy that he works so hard but given that he's 'self employed' now, it means he spends much more time with our DC and me. So it's lovely.