If you married well financially

[Shakeandvacthefreshnessisback]

Or stay due to being financially comfortable..how’s life? Did you make the right decision?

I met my DH when I was 18 and he was 24. I had no idea he would be wealthy he was actually jobless when I met him 🤣. I work myself I think it's dangerous to have no job income and be solely reliant on someone.

When we married we were not well financially and now we are. Our marriage was not built on the power and misogyny of the man having money and me bowing down to his every whim. I work full time in a well paid career although he now earns 3x what I do. At one point we earned the same. We share all finances.

Some people marry for money and end up unhappy and stuck. Some people marry for love and end up unhappy and stuck.

In my opinion those who marry for friendship and come into money later, do best.

Define "married well financially".

*"AffIt · Today 20:11

MolliciousIntent · Today 20:04

I asked my husband, who married extremely well financially, and he says it's going great."

Me too: he says he's having a lovely time, thank you very much. 😁*

Same. My husband married well - I'm an excellent catch! And he's very happy with his choice.

I married well financially but we had nothing when we met. Dh is very street smart and very hard working. His friends used to get drunk from party to party or play video games all day when I first met him but he used to be up at the crack of dawn seeking opportunities. We've sacrificed a lot in the beginning of our marriage and we now live a comfortable life. Things can go tits up as well which again I will support him (our family). I've also noticed as things started to get better for us financially is that you start losing your friends and even family members, hell even my mil resents us for living a comfortable life. How dare we live a comfortable life where she has financially or emotionally ever contributed to. I've made a right decision in not marrying a lazy man child and he has made a great decision in marrying someone who has always supported him.

Is this the one who wants to marry a squillionaire?

It was certainly something I considered because I knew my DParents would stop paying my allowance when I got married so I needed to make sure my lifestyle wouldn’t deteriorate.

I was a SAHM for several years because I needed to be. DH has a very good pension and so I didn’t prioritise it for me, as we had periods where we needed every penny.
Big mistake. Although it’s half mine if we divorced, I have no control or say in it while we are married.

Really not sure what marrying well financially means? We have a combined income of just over 162k but 77k of that is me, we both need to work and our mortgage is big and about to get bigger. We met as skint students and had a baby in our early twenties when on a combined salary of 45k of so.

I walked out on a financial very very stable relationship - no money worries, large mortgage free home, posh cars, fancy holidays etc. DH ran his own business, turned over millions.

You wouldn't believe the amount of friends (women) who said to me, you can't walk away from that amount of money.

Well I did.

Now married DH - who is a lower earner, £25k a year. We have a much more frugal lifestyle obviously. I won't lie - at times I greatly miss having money. We are £4k in debt on one credit card which with previous DH would have taken a couple of days to pay off just pressing a button. Now it will probably take us 2-3 years.

But I'm happy.

Money doesn't buy happiness - but it does make you sleep easier at night and I never used to worry about brown envelopes through the door. Now I literally have a panic attack if one arrives.

Are you thinking of finding yourself a sugar daddy OP?

😁

I did, but he was also the man I fell in love with.

When looking for a serious relationship I didn’t look for a man to financially support me to live how I wanted to live, but I didn’t look for a man I would have to financially support either.

I met my DH aged 11 and school and got together aged 15 so I certainly didn’t go for him for his money! We’re now quite well off but I’m with him because I love him very much, not because of the bank accounts.

This. I was the higher earner when we met and we pooled everything then and still do now where he (through fortuitous circumstances) now earns much more. And he still, and always has, done his fare share in the house and with childcare. He might have got slightly uppity at some points but I just laughed at him. I could not bear it personally, to be fully dependent on anyone. I know it works for many people but equally it does not for many more.

It was certainly something I considered because I knew my DParents would stop paying my allowance when I got married so I needed to make sure my lifestyle wouldn’t deteriorate
@MyBrilliantFriend I’m assuming this is a joke?? Although I did know someone who’s mum still send her money regularly when she was in her late 20s and earning £60k

I married well and because of that I live in a lovely home and do not have to work. I also love my husband and he’s one of the kindest and most decent human beings I know.

We are a traditional family and like it that way.

I see so many posts here talk about being independent (ie. not dependent on a man) etc but I also see much hardship and essentially being dependent on a workplace/company that has no vested interest in you as a person - just as long as you are productive. My husband and I have each other’s best interests at heart & we made a lifelong commitment / sacrament.

I’m assuming this thread is out of jealousy or hopelessness?

Many friends I know who met their partners online on Match etc were looking for men with certain salaries. Happy I met my man when he was earning very little and now we’re both earning equal thanks to hard work. Would hate to be in a position where I have to rely on a man financially. How archaic and pretty sad considering how far we’ve come for equality for women

I was thinking the same I'm sure I've seen VERY similar threads whilst scrolling today....

I married into a well off family when I was young and stupid thought I was in love. Turned out to be a huge mistake and walked away from it all without a backwards glance.

Far, far happier with my new life now.

I think you need to define “married well financially”.
I’d have thought it meant wealthy to the extent that all domestic work was outsourced. And a very lavish lifestyle. And neither of you need to work anymore. Most people on this thread sound like they are a SAHM, covering the domestic side whilst their husband works his ass off. It doesn’t sound great.
I married someone who earns very similar to me, I earn ever so slightly more, combined income of around 300k. We need to work and do not live a lavish lifestyle but we both have the utmost respect for the other. And he does the bulk of the domestic stuff while I do admin/finance etc. I would absolutely hate to be financially reliant on someone else.

@Trainfromredhill my parents actually did still pay me an allowance until I got married (& if I’m honest I was a bit irritated they stopped 😆) but I earn my own money and didn’t really consider DH’s earning potential (apart from I suppose I chose someone with similar values to me so hard working, focussed, all that jazz). I don’t think money is a good reason to choose a partner.

I married well financially i guess. Well not six figures yet but almost. But i’m not married dh for money. I married him when his tough time working his wage was £32k!. Then he made redundant. So i definitely not married him for money. I fancy my dh with or without money.

I think "marrying well financially" is a second time around choice. As many on this thread have demonstrated, the financial success hadn't arrived when partners were chosen at a younger age.

I actually think it's surprising that so many people think financial security is attainable to all. It isn't in my experience.

Children who are brought up in severe poverty or in adverse conditions (abuse, addiction etc) generally have significantly different outcomes to children who are brought up in safer environments.

It is very difficult to start a career when you have c-ptsd at 18 years old.

We are not progressing in this area in the way we should be and things look set to get worse. Maybe my outlook is skewed because I am surrounded with it every day, but it always surprises me the "Women can become financially independent themselves". I wish I could believe that but it seems incredibly naïve where I'm sitting.