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AIBU?

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Original poster

Extremely rude doctor

307 replies

Picturesintheclouds08 · 06/09/2022 16:45

This is more of a vent than anything else.

In my GP practice you don't get a face to face, you get a phone call then a face to face if deemed necessary. That's fine, no issue with that.

You have to state what you are calling for to the receptionist so I stated stomach issues and period problems.

The doctor calls and asks how he can help.

I begin saying - I'm calling for Two things that may or may not be related.. one is a pain in my stomach, one is period pains.. he cuts me off right there and says .. I don't have time for a list of issues.

What's your stomach pain he asks - dull ache, coming and going, few centimeters to the right and below belly button, been going on few weeks. He says - it's just your bowels, it is very normal. I question that - I'm 36, never had this pain before.

Then I say - about my period - he goes - I don't have time to be talking about periods and all that, quickly give me the highlights. I could not believe the rudeness of him. Highlights - 12 days between a period, sometimes 7 weeks, extremely painful through to my back and bum - cannot physically move, blood clots, very heavy, would consider a hysterectomy it is that bad. (Took me about 30 seconds to give him that run down) Ok he says, i dont have time to deal with this today and you need to call back another day for a new appointment and request a female doctor.

I was gobsmacked at his rudeness. The phone call lasted under 5 mins. I understand they are under alot of pressure but his rudeness was terrible. I didn't realise you couldn't talk about 2 issues (that may be related) at the same appointment.

OP posts:
SausageMonkey2 · 06/09/2022 21:02

@Colourmeclear I thought the same with the thread title but absolutely with everyone else. Complain. As loudly as possible.

DadAndLovingIt · 06/09/2022 21:06

Definitely complain and make sure you have a record of the complaint (record it if it's made over the phone)

My wife had an almost identical experience, complained (the practice manager was quite insistent the complaint was made over the phone) then when the same thing happened again, complained again (this time in writing) and got a very rude reply that included an admission that they had no record of the first complaint.

We reported them to the ombudsman, but they replied that, because the surgery didn't have a record of the first complaint (you know, the reason we complained to the ombudsman) and we didn't have it recorded or in writing there was nothing they could do!

Kicking ourselves for not recording the phone call!

Dailywalk · 06/09/2022 21:07

He sounds horrendous. Since when can only female doctors discuss periods. I hope you get to speak to a decent GP soon.

DrBlackbird · 06/09/2022 21:11

It must be just me but I absolutely hate the standard "…how can I help" line trotted out. It’s a minor point but really irritates me. Why not ask ‘what brings you here’? You can help by listening actively, not being a dismissive and patronising git, by diagnosing my health problem and suggesting treatment. Surely that’s obvious…

I know, I know, bigger things to worry about and all that Hmm

Original poster
Picturesintheclouds08 · 06/09/2022 21:15

DrBlackbird · 06/09/2022 21:11

It must be just me but I absolutely hate the standard "…how can I help" line trotted out. It’s a minor point but really irritates me. Why not ask ‘what brings you here’? You can help by listening actively, not being a dismissive and patronising git, by diagnosing my health problem and suggesting treatment. Surely that’s obvious…

I know, I know, bigger things to worry about and all that Hmm

@DrBlackbird I hate that line to. Especially as they have an idea of why your calling because the receptionist puts it on the notes so I think it should be more along the lines of .. I see you are having problems with ..... tell me more about it/explain to me what is going on for you.

OP posts:
DrBlackbird · 06/09/2022 21:22

Yes exactly @Picturesintheclouds08

Its such a bland and blasé worst of a bad retail shop opening line.

BakersYeast · 06/09/2022 21:25

You are complaining about them asking how they can "help"?

Original poster
Picturesintheclouds08 · 06/09/2022 21:33

BakersYeast · 06/09/2022 21:25

You are complaining about them asking how they can "help"?

@BakersYeast God out of the whole thread that's the bit you pick out - my answer to a pp based on their dislike. It's a dislike, not a complaint.

OP posts:
Slicacakeandacuppatea · 06/09/2022 21:35

Irregular, heavy periods with abdominal pain should have a minimum of bloods (including full blood count to rule out anaemia and hormone levels to look for polycystic ovaries) and an ultrasound to look for eg fibroids

it makes me so angry when male doctors dismiss period problems and let people suffer. This guy just sounds like an all round dick but please do advocate for yourself at your next appointment.

and I agree… you should complain so he’s held to account (I would be requesting at the least an apology, how dare he be so dismissive?!)

Facecream · 06/09/2022 21:35

Whatever you do don’t waste your time with the GMC… utter waste of space

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 06/09/2022 21:37

BakersYeast · 06/09/2022 20:26

It is standard that you do not discuss more than one appointment in one slot. You are told to book two.

Not at my practice. What an outrageous waste of time and NHS money!

Slicacakeandacuppatea · 06/09/2022 21:41

Just to add- I don’t think it is necessarily 2 problems. Causes of stomach pain in a woman could be related to periods and especially if irregular should be asked assessed as part of the original problem!

I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all to discuss both in one session.

BlodynGwyn · 06/09/2022 21:41

You should see your gynecologist for women's reproductive issues. I'd never ever talk to my GP about something like that.

Lipsandlashes · 06/09/2022 21:43

BlodynGwyn · 06/09/2022 21:41

You should see your gynecologist for women's reproductive issues. I'd never ever talk to my GP about something like that.

Are you bloody serious?

Original poster
Picturesintheclouds08 · 06/09/2022 21:44

BlodynGwyn · 06/09/2022 21:41

You should see your gynecologist for women's reproductive issues. I'd never ever talk to my GP about something like that.

@BlodynGwyn My gynecologist?? I don't have a personal gynecologist.. 😕 You go to the GP who then refers you, if they don't dismiss you that is.

OP posts:
Lovvy67 · 06/09/2022 21:45

It really fucks me off when women get fobbed off about issues relating to our period.

"It's just periods, nothing to worry about"

Yes, we know what a period is thanks, we've been having them most of our lives, therefore we're perfectly capable of realising when something isn't right with the cycles we've been having again, most of our lives.

My period went biserk after my last baby, previously non existent PMS developed into PMDD, feeling a bit grumpy on the first day of my period morphed into feeling physically ill for two weeks out of every 4.

"Just periods" oh sod off.

I'm really sorry you were treat this way OP. Please do make a formal complaint. He shouldn't be in the job with an attitude like that and such disdain for his patients.

bringincrazyback · 06/09/2022 21:54

BlodynGwyn · 06/09/2022 21:41

You should see your gynecologist for women's reproductive issues. I'd never ever talk to my GP about something like that.

@BlodynGwyn You're on a wind-up, right? Why on earth wouldn't you talk to a GP about this??

OP, he sounds shocking, not rtft but I think I read that you were going to report him - good. He sounds awful, very much like a rude male GP at the practice I attend, unfortunately.

AnnaMagnani · 06/09/2022 22:00

@BlodynGwyn are you not in the UK?

Because here nobody (unless paying privately) has their own personal gynaecologist they go direct to for any female health issue.

You start with your GP.

warriorathena · 06/09/2022 22:03

There are arseholes in all walks of life. Medicine is no exception. His blatant misogyny is baffling and needs reporting. His request for one issue per appointment isn't unusual though. Agree with others that it is difficult for patients to know which symptoms are related or not. Either way, the right thing to do is to complain to the practice manager in the hope he will treat future patients in a more professional manner.

AchatAVendre · 06/09/2022 22:09

One issue per appointment, or on symptom? How is a patient meant to distinguish between an issue or a symptom, without self diagnosing their issue first?

A crazy policy which potentially rules out just about every medical condition in existence.

Can you imagine trying to describe your Covid symptoms? "Well, doctor, I have a headache and ---" GP: "I'll have to stop you right there. One issue per appointment".

Obviously, doctors use common sense but for the few that don't, the potential for mistakes is high.

Ireolu · 06/09/2022 22:20

Phonecards r recorded and so there will be proof of this interaction. You shd complain. Practice Manager will listen to the call and determine what to do next.

Ireolu · 06/09/2022 22:20

Phonecalls* even

Qwertyyui · 06/09/2022 22:29

I have the same symptoms with my bowel area. It's been 8 weeks now. After 3 I saw my doctor. She thought maybe my apendix so off to a&e with a letter. Was scanned and bloods done. Was assured not my appendix and was told some fluid in my abdomen they are not sure where it has come from though as no sign of cysts. Was told to wait a few weeks as it might go away. Last week it was still there. My doctor ordered a fit poop test to check for blood and a repeat scan. Then my doctors texted to say there is another test they want to do and to drop off another sample. Once the results are back they will book me in and see where they go from there. I have a history of bowel issues in my family and I won't be fobbed off. I will push for every test and to be fair they are supportive of that. I am 37 I cannot spend every day feeling sick when I eat and in pain when I move too much! Push for everything life is too precious to take them saying no!

Judijudi · 06/09/2022 22:29

Our practice is one issue per appointment too. Not ideal but understandable seeing as they are allocated about 5 mins per appointment. He sounds like an arse but don’t waste your energy on him!

TabithaTittlemouse · 06/09/2022 22:36

RatherBeRiding · 06/09/2022 16:49

That does sound extremely rude and dismissive. However, with GP services being stretched to the absolute limit I doubt a complaint to the practice would achieve very much. I'd be inclined to book another appointment with a different doctor, and if you don't get any joy with that, look at changing to a different practice.

All services are overstretched, some of us try to remain polite and caring.
I might start telling my patients that they can only have one delusional belief a day because I don’t have time for all of them.
They can be stressed or depressed but not both.