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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you can't have it all at the same time, what is the thing you're currently missing out on?

62 replies

MacNCheeeeese · 06/09/2022 16:38

I read on here often that you can have it all but not at the same time. So I just wondered what part of it "all" it is that people are currently missing out on in their lives?

OP posts:
SpikeyHatePotato · 06/09/2022 16:40

Sleep mostly!

otherwise, quality! That is, I’m still trying to have it all but none of it is going very well!

QforCucumber · 06/09/2022 16:41

for me exercise and social life - FT job, 2 kids, we eat quite well, but I'm 2 stone heavier than I want to be and by 9pm slob n the sofa with DH to watch something good together rather than do anything physical.

knackeredagain · 06/09/2022 16:43

Love

purpledagger · 06/09/2022 16:46

Money.

I've taken a lower paid role but in exchange, I have more time and less stress.

Chocchops72 · 06/09/2022 16:47

Career for me. I put it on hold to be home with kids, which was great for them and for us as a family, but my career / earning power has totally stalled and I feel too old to get back into it. We also moved overseas, and our kids have the advantage of being bilingual, multicultural - but again, not in a situation where either Dh or I can progress career wise without a move.

I’m trying to make the most of what I do have: something always has to give.

Gettingbythanks · 06/09/2022 16:49

Activia Creamy Vanilla yogurts, Asda out of stock 😔

Pacca · 06/09/2022 16:50

Private means

gwenneh · 06/09/2022 16:51

Time.
Finances are fine, DC are doing well, hobbies are fulfilling - there just isn't enough time to do all of the things I want to in a week. Or to go away on a proper holiday.

Timeforabiscuit · 06/09/2022 16:51

Missing Full time work/ career - "having it all " does not include caring for a spouse with cancer with two teens in tow, I'll happily settle for having enough.

DazzlePaintedBattlePants · 06/09/2022 16:54

Time. Mostly living life at what feels like a zillion miles an hour and madly scheduled to ensure everything happens.

goldfinchonthelawn · 06/09/2022 16:56

Money.
I have a job I adore and work only part time due to a boring illness that stops me from functioning at full whack for 40 hours a week.
That means loads of time with DC so we get on really well, and loads of time with DH - we get on really well too. We have a gorgeous house but it is pretty scruffy now and really deserves more money spending on it than we have.

Ooohyeah · 06/09/2022 16:59

Career, I spend plenty of time with our family, comfortable with money and we have a lovely lifestyle but I don’t have a career.

partypingal · 06/09/2022 17:00

Friends. Just not got the time or headspace. I feel I will regret this in the future but can't seem to help it in the present.

Retrievemysanity · 06/09/2022 17:00

Career.

Ganymedemoon · 06/09/2022 17:03

My career, a lot of lost earnings with that so money too. But equally social life, not much to speak of!

However I have 2 kids that have never required childcare, I work part time locum so I'm keeping my skills going with a reasonable income, and I now get some me time every week so feel like I am getting myself back to me again now the youngest has just started school.

mast0650 · 06/09/2022 17:04

Activia Creamy Vanilla yogurts, Asda out of stock

😂

Arcadia · 06/09/2022 17:08

Sex.

mast0650 · 06/09/2022 17:09

I think I've pretty much had it "all", within reason, since the children have been junior school age or so. When they were younger than school age I was exhausted and stressed a lot of the time, but it got much easier.

Life's not been perfect by any means, but I don't think that "having it all" excludes suffering bereavements etc. As far as career/family/relationships/social/lifestyle stuff goes, it's been pretty good.

steppon · 06/09/2022 17:09

I have never managed to juggle everything so at the moment I don't have time for exercise. I walk to & from walk so get that.

I need/like sleep so getting up at 6am doesn't work for me as I would struggle to get to bed early.

Topgub · 06/09/2022 17:10

Nothing that I can think.

Not anything that I want to do anyway.

TeaMoreToast · 06/09/2022 17:12

Social life and exercise for me. DP obssessed with seeing his family so between DC, FT job. my family and his, I don't have much time to see friends or fit in exercise classes. Have tried after work on weekdays but am knackered and have to be back home to sort DC dinner etc.

Singlemum2022 · 06/09/2022 17:12

Time on my own.
A sex life.
Financial security.
Single parent to three older teens and caring for very ill parent as well as working two jobs.
I don't want to have it all - I just want to have enough.

steppon · 06/09/2022 17:12

I work 4 days at week & have lots of holiday but I don't have enough time. Love my job though & money not really an issue.

NCHammer2022 · 06/09/2022 17:15

Spare time/interests/social life. Exercise except walking which to be fair I do a lot of. I used to do sea swimming and very rarely manage that now.

It works out alright though. Nearly all of my main friendship group also work and have small children so they all get it.

Pruella · 06/09/2022 17:18

Time to myself is in very short supply. I think that’ll change when DS is bigger though.