To be struggling to survive on 65k household income

[Soddinghell]

By the time we have paid mortgage, phone bills, bills car insurance, kids activities etc we barely have anything left. I don’t know what’s going on. DH earns 50k and I earn 15k part time. Please somebody help me I am thinking of going full time to stay afloat, I don’t know where we are going wrong, we are not in London or an expensive area, just outside manchester and people keep telling us we should be fine. We are not though!

There is. And people say "move to a cheaper area" but forget that's often increasing commuting times (and costs) and increasing childcare as need to cover the increase in time out of the house, so a more expensive nursery open longer hours or extended time in wrap around care. Cheaper areas of GM often have massively over-subscribed schools as well (most of GM does to be honest), so no guarantee that the kids could move school. It can take 1 hour + to get around GM in rush hour.

You need to look at every area of your spending. MSE has a great budget where you enter your monthly income and also your expenses monthly and annually and it works out everything on a monthly basis.

If you can't afford it, then you need to stop the kids clubs. They are a luxury like anything else, and lots of parents can't afford them.

Look at all your utilities and see how you can cut them. Look at your food bills and see if you can save money at other supermarkets or by dropping a grade. Cut the treats and luxuries, meal plan etc.

Look at your mobile contracts and see if you can save money when they end. How many tv subscriptions do you have, if more than 1 then pick your favourite and cancel the rest.

See how often you get takeaways, eat out, buy lunch, coffees etc. Look at how much you spend on clothes, haircuts etc and only get essential stuff.

Some of this may not apply to you, but I am just giving general across the board ideas for you.

Some areas will allow council tax to be split over 12 months rather than 10 which can help with budgeting.

All this “pets are a lifestyle choice”, you don’t need TV subscriptions etc. The top 1% and the Tory Government (mostly one and the same) want ordinary people fighting amongst themselves in a race to the bottom. It distracts from what they are doing. Life is for living you know. Not just cutting back on every little comfort and existing. Look outside our borders, especially to Denmark. It doesn’t have to be like this. It’s a political choice. They have Schödinger’s money. Look at the £ billions wasted on test and trace because it was given to the wife of one of their cronies, rather than local health authorities, who had protocols set-up. There are so many examples like this. Plenty of money to wash around their mates, no money for the public. If we stopped fighting each other and fought for each other like the French, we wouldn’t be in this situation.

I agree with this and to a certain extent has fuelled the fire of some of the responses. The sniping doesn't help though, the 'stop moaning and wasting money ' to the 'anyone earning less is lazy, and/or a bit of a failure '

Even at that level of earnings there is probably little extravagance, possibly wasting bits of money here and there, but certainly not living it up.

We have two cars, for some that is a necessity, spend a lot more than £50 a month on petrol though.

www.jrf.org.uk/report/minimum-income-standard-uk-2022

I really think people need to take a look at this.
Use the calculator too.
It’s fascinating.

If you are earning 65k then it's not unreasonable to expect to be able to afford Sky tv and swimming lessons for your kids!
Actually everybody should be able to pay for these things because these are not massively aspirational desires in life! It's not like anyone is demanding 4 holidays a year and Chanel handbags as standard - people just want to be able to go to Costa when they're out shopping, or have a holiday, buy new shoes when needed. It's disgusting that people can't just do this.

Monthly Incoming After Tax, NI & 3% Pension
£4150

Monthly Outgoings
Mortgage £1000
Electric/Gas £250
Food Shopping £500
Nursery £600
Gymnastics/Swimming £100
Mobile Phones £40 (2x £20 Sim Cards)
Internet £40
Sky/Virgin TV £60
TV License £12
Council Tax £150
Car Insurance £80 (Two Cars at £40 each)
Petrol £100 (Two Cars at £50 each)
Subscriptions (Netflix/Prime/Disney/Spotify) £40
Home Insurance £35
Life Insurance £20
Pets £100
Debt Repayment (Loan/Credit Card based on the UK debt average) £200
Family Activities £200
Holiday Savings £200
Christmas Savings £100
Clothes £100
Eating Out £100
Total Out: £4027

Where was this example taken from? It's a very strange budget

£200 pm for holiday savings, £100 pm Christmas savings. £300 pm family and children's activities. £600 on non essentials right there

But only £200 pm on debt repayments 🤔

I agree that with that income you would expect to be able to save. It does sound like you to look at your budgeting. I would get each family member to drop something. Depending on age explain why, you may well find some activities they don’t particularly enjoy but go because they think they should.

@darisdet glad you posted your budget. Who's is it though??

Family Activities £200
Holiday Savings £200

Christmas Savings £100

Clothes £100

Eating Out £100

Can you read this again. £700 each month is this all necessary? It's hardly a life of having to tightening your belt is it. You can see why harsh comments are upon the thread because some people are clearly unaware.

I wouldn’t look to Denmark for inspiration. A lot of people are self employed and pay significantly less tax than employees. As an employee wages are ridiculously low so many leave to work elsewhere. It’s a tiny country with 5m people where the population is homogeneous. If you want to live in a country with true racism and xenophobia be my guest. Having lived there, I ran for the hills and didn’t look back.

If the home office were half decent I’d be in the UK happily paying taxes on my income and sending my children to private schools, using private medical etc so not exactly a burden on the system. Our government seem hell bent on importing the worst parts from other countries.

My dh probably doesn’t even know where the library is.
He does it for the online subscription and likes to feel all superior when he looks it up kettles etc on Which and proudly tell you the most expensive one is the best one to get. The paper magazine annoyingly pops through the letterbox every month. Such a waste of resources imo.

If you have skytv, then netflix, disney on top yet your budgeting family activities and also they have kids clubs - like how do you even have time to use all those tv subscriptions. Surely you just have one e.g. sky.

And wow £100 a month for christmas saving thats £1100 to spend just on christmas thats insane!

I’m a stay at home mum ,to two dc with autism and learning difficulties,one is an adult already and neither can be left home alone ,both are home full time and neither will ever leave home to live independently.
i can only dream of such an amount to live on ..it would mean we could pay our bills ,and not have to take out a £3000 loan to pay our gas and electricity over the winter

I suppose it could be worse I've had directors in my company telling us all how everyone is feeling the pinch not just people on lower pay even they are. I am sorry but if you are earning mr director £150k you are not feeling the pinch - boo hoo if your not going on multiple holidays a year. Some people really are tone deaf

Dp has just negotiated a £12000 pay increase. Yet a third of it is taken by the government.😲🤐

I don't think £65k is a lot.

That is a really good link. With CM and bonuses added in, I just make the amount suggested.

My dh probably doesn’t even know where the library is.
He does it for the online subscription and likes to feel all superior when he looks it up kettles etc on Which and proudly tell you the most expensive one is the best one to get. The paper magazine annoyingly pops through the letterbox every month. Such a waste of resources imo.

TBF Which? is now much more than just product reviews. Your membership covers personal advice on consumer and legal issues.

Anyway I'm baffled by posters commenting criticising made up budgets! The OP has posted 3 times with very little budget detail.

Sorry, it's not mine! I should have been clear with quotes. A pp posted it, as an example I think.

As for the Op, you need to switch to paying for cash for food shopping. I find that a lot of food is cheaper in the supermarket than online. It also becomes a game. I purchased half a cow with a friend and frozen veggies don’t go off. I’ll never buy fresh berries out of season again. I do warn you that broccoli is not good frozen unless for an omelette or soup. You really need that one to be fresh!

I purchased a wood burning stove for my father 5 years ago. It’s paid for itself after a year when prices were low. During the day, the home is heated with the fire and at night the central heating is used to keep it 18C. He is old so needs it a bit warmer. You can get ones which are pellets or wood. I went with wood because and now it’s self sufficient as the wood is 2-3 years old so sufficiently aged to be able to burn.

Having a pet is very expensive and is a luxury. Our dog died and I’m not getting another because I work too many hours and with 3 children the dog won’t get the attention they need and deserve. Over the weekend we pet sit for neighbors in exchange for a donation to charity. If you are struggling, I’d pet sit for a reasonable fee that you keep. I charge a donation of about £10 a day. Don’t do free as people will take advantage.

You are not being unreasonable. 65K does not stretch as far as it used to. My partner works full-time and I work part-time (mature student) and we struggle just us and the dog.
<3

The other thing is that if OP isn't paying for her DC to do extra-curricular activities (and other people are similarly cutting back), that will be a tranche of others out of a job or with reduced working hours.

Same with cutting back on coffee/drinks/meals out. If middle-earning families can't afford these things, there are going to be a lot of businesses going bust, and people out of work.

It's an extraordinarily depressing thought.

You do what my parents did and have absolutely no extracurricular clubs or lessons for the kids and no (paid for) hobbies for anyone and no pets. Growing up in that environment gave me a massive insight into how much money I wanted to earn and I worked hard at school, chose my university course and career accordingly. And now my kids get lectured every time they go to any lesson or club about how lucky they are!

Brilliant advice and I am going to try his .😊

You need to keep notes of everything you pay for. Even small amounts such as coffees in town, ice creams for the children.
Can you stop gym membership? There are lots of ways to exercise without paying for it.

What are your top three bills?