To be struggling to survive on 65k household income

[Soddinghell]

By the time we have paid mortgage, phone bills, bills car insurance, kids activities etc we barely have anything left. I don’t know what’s going on. DH earns 50k and I earn 15k part time. Please somebody help me I am thinking of going full time to stay afloat, I don’t know where we are going wrong, we are not in London or an expensive area, just outside manchester and people keep telling us we should be fine. We are not though!

I know people who have had accidents despite all precautions. There aren't ways to cycle safely in some city areas due to huge amounts of traffic, aggressive car drivers (who hate cyclists) and no cycle lanes. DH is a very keen cyclist and even he doesn’t cycle to work anymore due to near misses. Stop patronising and preaching.

My dd is complaining to me about exactly this. I have agreed to pay dgs swimming costs as I don't want her to have to cut their swimming out. Do you have grandparents who might offer to cover some children activity costs? Another option is going back to work more hours if you can. I appreciate nursery fees would be higher but if you went back full time your kids would benefit and once youngest at preschool you would be better off.

OP are you able to change to SIM only for mobile phones and take advantage of data gifting from one number to another on the account? I pay £42 per month for 4 mobiles and nobody runs out of mobile data.
I also managed to fix the home phone/tv/broadband for the next 18 months at the same as what we are currently paying. I only want the broadband but it was cheaper to have all 3.

I can understand, I don't know what your outgoing are, but I have a similar household take home as you and I'm fortunate enough to be left with around £700-£800 a month, but we don't have childcare costs.

When you have a higher income typically you have higher outgoings.

Our mortgage comes to £1350 a month because of the recent interest rate increase with our re-mortgage, we used to pay £1005 . Fixed term energy ended so that's gone from £100 up to £250 a month. We both work around 30 miles away and our petrol costs for the month is £400.
On bills we can't immediately reduce like mortgage, essential household bills, petrol and food we're paying an extra £650-700 a month compared to last year.

All I can suggest:
Look at food, can you bulk cook with cheaper ingredients like pasta, lentils, rice etc.
Do you have cars on finance, on an expensive car can you change to a cheaper or older model
Can you reduce phone bills by selling expensive phone for cheaper phones or not upgrading next time you have an upgrade and moving to sim only.
Look at energy bills, can you reduce there, tumble dryer, amount of times the kettles boiled, turning un-needed electrics off.
I would write everything out, do you have subscriptions you don't need, are you buying takeaways or maybe non essential items, can you move to cheaper non-essential items like makeup, hair care, cleaning products etc.

We're in very different boats but have the same money struggles.

I don't like anyone struggling, and whether you're on a higher income or lower, we're all allowed to let off some steam. I hope things improve for you xx

The fact that there's 23 pages of discussion and this was the last post from OP on 1st page is hilarious.

It's like she knew the venomous posters of MN were about to arrive

Get a grip, my household is on 20K, that's a stuggle. And I know plenty of people who are on even less than me. I am sure we all wish we could have your version of 'struggle' rather than our own.

@IMELDAF how do you pay your rent? It’s £1500 per month for a three bed terrace where I live.

My 2 bedroom flat is £470pm.

We just simply cannot afford to live in a high rent area, as much as we would like to obviously.

We are also overcrowded

@IMELDAF it’s still £1000 to rent a two bed where I am so it wouldn’t be possible to live on £20,000. Unless you are lucky enough to have social housing and/or receive other benefits…the point I am making is that a salary may sound high to you but it depends on outgoings and not everyone gets help from the government.

And my area is not particularly high rent for the South East.

People are so awful to the op . 65k a year is probably around £3700 a month if that ( depending if they have stupefy loans a or pension plans etc ). Half of that will be going into housing alone probably , if they have childcare then obviously is nit a huge amount

People are so mean to OP. I guess you need to be on the bones of your arse on here to not be critised. 🙄

@Soddinghell

I'm sure utsb

It's been said but mmn has a separate money chat and investment section it maybe worth asking there in future!

Is that 65k before the taxman takes a chunk? Are you in 40% tax bracket yet? When you tip into higher rate think it may be worth assessing whether working is worth the return

it’s still £1000 to rent a two bed where I am so it wouldn’t be possible to live on £20,000. Unless you are lucky enough to have social housing and/or receive other benefits

ueah, it’s really lucky being in a position to claim disability benefits…

If you’re on benefits the most you will get to rent a 2 bed in universal credit is whatever the local housing allowance is. In my area, the average price for a 2 bed rental is 700 pcm, the LHA for a 2 bed is 450 pcm. So whilst you do get help towards the rent, the days where the housing benefit you receive goes anywhere close to covering the cost are long gone. Lucky lucky disabled people!

@TheOriginalEmu never said it would cover the cost but it does grate on me when some people comment on how much people earn and how they should be able to manage when in fact they themselves have much lower outgoings on rent/childcare or are receiving support with their housing costs.

Even with help towards rent a person on universal credit or esa does not have an income anywhere close to £65k a year though. And the cost of being disabled is astronomical. That’s something no one ever factors in, the price of things which are labelled ‘accessible/adapted’ are insane. The idea someone with a disability is raking in the cash is just not true. A few quid towards rent doesn’t go anywhere to counteracting those expenses.

Do you know where all your money is going? If you don't, check your bank statements and find out. If you can't manage on that income one of the following is likely the reason:
You are over spending on day to day non essentials/luxuries that could be reduced.
You are servicing high consumer debt, car loans and credit cards, so may need a repayment plan.
Your mortgage is far too high and could maybe be changed to a longer term if downsizing isnt possible.
Your husband is spending on things you're unaware of. This happened to my best friend, (gambling).

You have EVERY right to complain and want advice on here.
Regardless of anyone’s income, it’s a shit show at the moment.
Your kids are in clubs - that isn’t a luxury. Kids are going to need all of the skills and qualifications to help take on the adult world in this country.
People get offended very easily.
Please try not to listen to the judgement.
Your feelings and worries are valid. My only advice is to try and watch some Martin Lewis the money saving expert on tips on how to save. Also, selling old clothes, cd’s, stationery etc on Vinted. Good luck xx

I remember the pain of nursery fees - ours were £1700 a month at one point, more than my entire part-time salary (I kept working as it's a competitive industry to get back into).

Hang in there and you'll feel loaded once the last nursery fee is paid, such a relief!

Is your mortgage particularly large? Or are you paying high car payments? I have difficulty understanding where the bulk of your money is being spent. You absolutely shouldn’t be struggling on that household income. It sounds like very poor money management and you need to sit down and take an honest look at your outgoings.