To be struggling to survive on 65k household income

[Soddinghell]

By the time we have paid mortgage, phone bills, bills car insurance, kids activities etc we barely have anything left. I don’t know what’s going on. DH earns 50k and I earn 15k part time. Please somebody help me I am thinking of going full time to stay afloat, I don’t know where we are going wrong, we are not in London or an expensive area, just outside manchester and people keep telling us we should be fine. We are not though!

Nowhere did I say that these are MY figures. They are estimated, from doing actual research. So before you go attacking somebody online, think before you act.
The £200 in debt repayments is estimated based on the average UK household debt. £200 / month is the estimated repayment on the average household debt. Just because you may not be in debt, doesn't mean to say others aren't.

Council Tax - Have you considered that the cost changes quite a lot throughout the country? Again, if you bothered to do real research before talking, you'd see that Council Tax in the UK varies from between £870 - £2300 per year depending on the location. Not every body lives in the same city as you, so the whole country isn't paying £280 / month.

You don't 'choose' to have two cars when you live in the countryside with zero public transport - and the kids school is one direction when other person's work is in the other (and other person starts work at 5,30am anyway so irrelevant really)

I have to have two cars. Trust me - would much rather have neither, but needs must. Or else are you suggesting my kids walk 5 miles there and back to school each day?

Exactly @Hagpie

There will always be times when two cars are necessary to get to work and school. There are also many instances (Mine included) where a household could make a few inconvenient changes (but nothing mind blowing), and go down to one car. it's personal choice.

I remember when the shops limited their customers during the pandemic, I have type 1 diabetes and always have sweets in case of a hypo. I went into a local store and was actually shouted at for breaking rules just to buy sweets , fat cow that I was! - (I am not fat, and I wasn't breaking rules either). That still pisses me off 😂.

This is the same parallel. Don't make judgements based on what you think other peoples priorities are. A lot of us, from different incomes need to re-evaluate our choices, and our priorities. People generally know themselves and their life choices and why they were made. We need to stop judging them for circumstances we know nothing about.

Well we don't need to.... but wouldn't it be lovely!

If OP had called the thread aibu to struggle paying for swimming lessons there wouldn't be people offended. But OP called it struggling to survive, OP and her family are not going to die because they can't afford after school activities for a few years. Yes it is annoying and saddening to have to give up the few things that make us happy but it's definitely not struggling to survive and that's what pissed people off.

And OP said that after paying for the activities there's barely any left over. Even more offensive to call it struggling to survive when what you're actually complaining about is not having enough (not none at all) spare money to save or spend after you've paid for non essentials. OP will survive without all the spending money she's used to 🙄

No it won't, but structurally we are an economy that is built of services. This is a government level issue and not one that is solved by you going bankrupt.

Pets are a lifestyle choice but they are usually a positive (therapeutic even) contribution to family life.

Oh no, another dig at 'Boomers'. When will they stop? Boomers lived much more frugal lives generally. Most have first-hand experience of austerity living so have a much more 'make do and mend' attitude to life and making things last than subsequent generations. Give it a rest!

What an unneccesarily spiteful comment.

Love this post 😊

The pile on here is uncalled for.

The more you earn, the more you spend and the higher your bills can be. Its normal now for the majority of people to start looking at their expenditure as everything creeps or races up in price.

I echo doing a full income and expenditure sheet, check your subscriptions etc. And be realistic about it. No point saying you are going to live of £50 a month food shop for example.

Our household income is £70K a year in SE London, however with full time nursery fees, rent on a small two bed terrace in a shitty area and our only splurge being £40 a month swimming with DD, we are about to have our disposable income of £250 a month wiped by our new utility bill.

This^^

We went from around your income to around 20k in a relatively short space of time. Redundancy, then self employment then disability.

I’ve always been fairly sensible with money but we really had to take a good look at where everything was going and where we could make changes.
Even with our relatively low income I can still make changes and save a few quid here and there. I’m not sure how long that will last for though given the current climate. I expect to be on the bones of our arse within a few months unless there are some drastic changes.

Unrelated but my dh refuses to cancel his Which magazine subscription. £12 a month I think! We aren’t even in the market for buying anything😂

It’s not fair that you’re being flamed on here OP. I’m in a pretty similar boat financially to you - and before anyone leaps on me, we do budget, and our mortgage is what we paid in rent in London before we moved so we could buy and invest in an asset which will benefit us long term. My solution? I’m just holding out for the next year so that our childcare will drop from £600 to £200 a month.

The pile on here is uncalled for.

Yes, people need to start taking some responsibility for their own feelings and not click on threads that are clearly going to cause them offence or anger.

I have read that even Millennials are discovering the art of good money management by doing as you've advised @CoastalWave . I have never really liked how 'easy come easy go' it feels spending entirely on a debit or credit card. With cash in your purse/wallet it's much easier to get a feel for how you're spending money and cutting back accordingly.

I do think that we have forgotten how to properly economise and live within our means. And getting caught up in showy lifestyle choices (sure the advent of social media hasn't helped in this regard). There is an expectation generally (see it my own children) of wanting everything immediately rather than prioritising spending and perhaps enjoying the lost art of delayed gratification.

The issue is the high-ish earners will get hit because they will get little to no help while the super rich sail on completely unaffected and the low earners will probably get government help. People that just about earn enough to get hit with the 40% tax and aren't eligible for benefits will feel the pinch because although we all work hard to provide for our families, I know I feel a little depressed at having to sacrifice my kids treats etc. i know I haven't worded this very well and I apologise for those that may get offended but when you work hard to get a decent pay, more than likely won't get any government help, and still can't get your head above water, it's extremely crap!

I also have gone back to drawing out cash as a weekly budget much easier to keep an eye on what I spend

I think you may be a little U for using the words 'to be struggling to survive' in your title OP but I think YANBU to think you should be able to afford a decent standard of living on £65000. As PPs have said, this should come as a warning to us all. If people on a decent household income cannot afford the little extras in life, the economy is fucked.

I take it you probably have a larg mortgage on a large house and a couple of credit cards.

If you don't live reasonably within your means and save, this is what happens when shit hits the fan. At your income you should not be struggling unless you have been living above your means (which is very common).

Depends what your debts and outgoings are really, and how many people you are supporting. DH and I are good earners but we are two salaries supporting effectively five adults, so it's not going to be cheap, though DM makes a contribution to living costs and DD1 at least has a PT job while studying FT.

I do sympathise too - people have been encouraged to live on debt for a good 20 years now (I remember talking about this 20 years ago after the dot com bubble burst!) and in the last 15, salaries have lagged behind where they ought to have been. The shit will hit the fan for many people with interest rate rises, as we haven't had high interest rates for more than a generation. There are people living outside their means in the middle but there are also a lot of people who just have a really low income in spite of working all the hours, or who can't work due to disability or caring responsibilities and have needed to get into debt just to get by.

Well OP hasn't been back but also not provided enough information other than 600pcm on childcare and some after school activities. Bit hard to then say they are really struggling nor can any sensible help be provided without a proper breakdown.

Sorry but when times are tough you have cut stuff out and you could save £100 by cutting out the after school activities. You might not like it the kids might not like it but thats a decision to be made. My parents couldn't afford to pay for any clubs for my or my sisters and yes I felt like I missed up but now I'm older I can make up for it myself.

Just think on the salaries your bringing in it does seem like you should be able to manage through by making some cut backs elsewhere.

I wonder where in GM/borders OP is? There's massive variation in living costs in the region.

This is a horrible thread.

Not the OP's question - but the responses. It's not a race to the bottom, you know.

I have been a single parent on a low income, now living in much more comfortable circumstances but the current economic situation in our country doesn't make it feel that much better.

Everyone's costs are rising and the scary thing is that we don't know how much.

I've been going through our outgoings and am cancelling our Virgin TV package in lieu of broadband only (as we've discovered we just don't watch tv enough to warrant an extra £60 per month). Also am shopping much more frugally and meal planning to keep that in check. The rest of it isn't so easy - mortgage is as low as I can get it, fuel bills remain to be seen..

All I can say is do as PP have suggested and run a budget spreadsheet. If nothing else you will be able to feel more secure knowing what there is going out and what you could cut back on if you wanted to do so.

Good luck OP. You aren't alone in this situation - many more of us will be trying to spend less for the foreseeable.

That is only if no student loans and minimum pension payments. Realistically it's more like £3.9 per month, if not a little less.

@JesusSufferingFuck22 I'd check with your local library if they carry Which? Magazine. Ours does, both hard copies and online access.