To be struggling to survive on 65k household income

[Soddinghell]

By the time we have paid mortgage, phone bills, bills car insurance, kids activities etc we barely have anything left. I don’t know what’s going on. DH earns 50k and I earn 15k part time. Please somebody help me I am thinking of going full time to stay afloat, I don’t know where we are going wrong, we are not in London or an expensive area, just outside manchester and people keep telling us we should be fine. We are not though!

Why on earth are posters mentioning pets, gym membership and TV subscriptions?! The OP hasn't mentioned any of these, this thread is like a game of Chinese Whispers.

Fascinating to look at thanks @Quincythequince When I make the adjustments even with my DHs pretty great salary, the fact that I'm not working as we have 3 children under 5 means we don't meet the minimum requirement they suggest. I cannot fathom that, when I know we are in a fortunate position compared to so many.

You do realise that the vast majority of the working population lose at least a third of their income to tax and NI? Or more depending on how much you earn
Two thirds of £12000 is £4000 so his net salary increase is 8 grand a year. I'd be absolutely over the moon with that!

Could you and your husband look at flexi working to save on the £600 nursery fees? If you weren’t paying those it would be much better financially

Your nursery fees are half your earnings. Is it a jobe you love and wouldn't want to lose?
Mine were almost 100% of my earnings but it was worth it to keep my job ticking over.
How old are the children if they have swimming and gym? If young enough for nursery maybe scrap them for a couple of years.
Other than that as others have said - budget and expectations.
Don't buy anything you don't need.

We have a reasonable income but there's been a massive jump in food prices recently and this also extends to household goods. Generally everything is going up so I think if you were doing okay before then now it makes sense some of us are wondering why have so little left.

We really can't cut back on much more but we are just thinking of investing in a slow cooker and trying to plan our meals throughout the week.

@Keha people really do forget about this. Between dh and I we pay over 500 month in Student loan repayments. Older people I work with forget this.

I totally agree OP. And you shouldn’t be roasted for admitting that life is getting difficult for everyone. Most of my friends are professional people with good jobs and quite high salaries and all we’ve talked about recently is cost of living rises.

Essentially all the money that used to be spent on clubs, meals out, holidays, Christmas and clothes is going to have to be used to pay mortgage (or rent), gas, water, food and petrol.

All in all a shit time to be a business that provides any kind of consumer good. I wonder how many we’ll lose this winter.

Higher the income, the higher the deductions.
It's irritating.
I still don't think 65k is a great amount to be truly comfortable with. People live by their means.

Christmas is going to be fun not this year, isn't it?

God, apparently I should be in receipt of £47, 000 a year! Fantastic!

It makes you realise how straitened ordinary people's lives are compared to the experiences and expectations of those who create these things. I don't buy clothes for myself at all unless very, very essential, certainly don't spend £57 on clothing for the children, spend a pittance on 'personal good and services', (I take it that means haircuts, 'grooming' (no) gym membership (no), ) I don't run a car, and bloody hell, do not spend £179 a week on 'social and cultural activities', the mind boggles to think of what that might entail, week in, week out. How many people out there do? Or are we just peasants?

YANBU Op. Food, petrol, mortgage and energy hikes are squeezing everyone.

I think other posters have some good advice about tracking where your money is going and analysing where you can cut back.

Martin Lewis always has good advice in Money Saving Expert - can you make some switches on things like broadband contracts, insurance etc to save any cash?

And this is why its so tone deaf. What a shame a year or two you have to go without a holiday or two or fewer clubs and clothes when people on lower wages in good times couldn't even have most of that.

At least you can still afford to heat your home and eat and not be in a position to decide between the two.

@Kashmirsilver I think that's good actually! I live in Ireland and over half of any payrise, overtime etc is gone straight away on tax.

Speaking of tone deaf, no fucks given for the people whose livelihoods rely on others being able to spend money on kids classes, holidays etc then? Obviously no way would any of those people have to choose between eating and heating if they lose their jobs due to customers not being able to afford their services any more.

Why sneer so much? The life you describd is actually decided by surveying ordinary people about what they think would be a good life. Then the research team work out how much it would cost to achieve.

Why shouldn't ordinary people aspire to a decent life? You seem keen to keep us plebs in our place.

It's not a race to the bottom.
So because your life is shit no one else can ever aspire to more?
Typical loser mentality

@PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior That's true and it is likely that there's going to be closures in the leisure and hospitality sector, but it's not up to other members of the public to threaten their own financial stability, get themselves into debt and potentially lose their homes to prop up these businesses.

Can you imagine having to explain to your credit card provider why you hadn't paid your bill but were still spending on meals out and activities? 'I knew I didn't have any money, but was trying to stop the local restaurant or the soft play centre from going bust'.

No, but it does mean people who are moralising about the thread being tone deaf would do well to wind their necks in. Which is the only point I was making.

Good idea

That is not the point that people are making and no one is suggesting for even a second that people get into debt to prop up theese sectors.

The point is when posters come one and talk about how people paying for these things are the reason why people like the OP are now struggling. When you are used to having a higher disposable income it isn't a massive luxury to get your nails done or go for a coffee twice a week or take your DC to softplay every week. Now though with rising costs it is becoming a luxury for more people so these industries will now suffer, pushing more people into poverty. Me, or the OP or someone else with that mid level income have not caused ourselves to have higher utilities and food bills now by getting things like coffee's in the past.

Posters so casually throw out things like 'stop buying takeaway coffee" and yes people will have to do that, me included, but no one seems to acknowledge the wider impact of these things, and it won't impact me, or even the OP but it will impact the people who work at these places and earn NMW.

😂Typical loser mentality

The UK is full of them.

Everything is relative. If you have a large mortgage, council tax, you won’t get child benefits, or any assistance so YANBU.

You'll need to make cutbacks. What can you cut? SKY? gym? mobile contracts? Clubs?

Wrote everything down and see where you can cut back.

Not here to slate you OP. You sound like the proverbial squeezed middle income wise. South Manchester isn’t cheap in terms of housing! I assume that your mortgage is your biggest outgoing, followed by various insurances (house, contents, car & maybe ‘extras’ like life insurance or even private health care/dental contributions) You’re probably paying quite high council tax as well, plus all the other utilities. Added to those , childcare, transport & grocery costs are all
‘ essential’ in that you’re locked in to them and can’t stop paying them. Ditto pension contributions.
I suspect that any cutbacks you can make will be marginal at best. Like lots of people, you’re living to earn, not earning to live.
The only advice I can give you is to invest some thought and time into money management. I’m sorry it probably isn’t the silver bullet you were hoping for but you might be surprised at the hidden costs you’re paying.
First thing is to look at all your borrowing and see if there are savings to be made. What’s your most expensive loan/ credit card debt not just in terms of the amount but the interest rate? Can you take advantage of any 0% transfer deals? If you do transfer is there a cost? How does the cost of transferring plus the 0% interest rate measure up against what you’re paying? Is it better?
Dont do this once & forget about it; keep doing it so you don’t get caught out by a sudden jump in rates at the end of the deal.
Look at the dates you pay your bills. Do they line up with the dates your salary goes in?if not change the payment dates. If you’re really disciplined it can help to pay your wages into a savings account, run alongside your current account - you transfer just the weekly sums you need & it stops impulse buying.
Shop around for home & car insurance etc. Not just online but try an old fashioned broker as well.
Be ruthless with subscriptions, especially online ones - check if you’re doubling any up like Amazon Prime/Spotify and merge them.
Shop from your wardrobe. Swap with your friends.
Sale/Alty/Timperley and Hale are affluent areas so picking stuff up on local Facebook marketplace is a doddle. Especially useful for children -lots of games, toys, sports equipment, school uniform. All the local schools including the private ones, have secondhand uniform sales & no one’s at all judgey about it - it’s common sense not to buy new if you don’t need to.

Haha. Laughing out very loud as you.