To be struggling to survive on 65k household income

[Soddinghell]

By the time we have paid mortgage, phone bills, bills car insurance, kids activities etc we barely have anything left. I don’t know what’s going on. DH earns 50k and I earn 15k part time. Please somebody help me I am thinking of going full time to stay afloat, I don’t know where we are going wrong, we are not in London or an expensive area, just outside manchester and people keep telling us we should be fine. We are not though!

We have strict budgeting and use a monthly spreadsheet. I know where every penny is.

Yep, great idea.
I used to do that when we
were Ona lower income and things needed to be balanced properly. I don’t anymore, but it’s a great way to track every single penny.

Could have written your post myself OP! I have nothing constructive to add because we are currently grappling with it all too. The only luxuries we have left are music lessons for the kids and gymnastics. I've sold a car and our aldi shop is 45 quid a week now.

We have managed to save a bit by banning ourselves from our local tesco metro - we were spending sooo much in there on things that we really didn't need. Goodluck and hope things look up soon - it is all very shitty and not how I expected life to be in my early forties!

You're rude and ignorant, congrats

Instead of a spreadsheet, OP, try an app. I am using Nova. It connects to your bank accounts and cards and classifies all expenditure automatically (it is based on machine learning, so you'll have to train it for some time first, telling it what the expense was for).
I was shocked when I found out how much my accidental expenditure come up to (a coffee here, an uber there), and tiny subscriptions I've never bothered to cancel but don't use anymore (newspapers, twinkl etc).

Many people still believe that someone earning £50k plus is a ‘high’ salary when in fact it’s been hugely devalued even before the cost of living crisis. We just haven’t kept up.

prime example - ‘High income child benefit charge’ has not risen with inflation since it’s crazy implementation in 2013.

Also, due to any further income beyond the £50 k being taxed at 40%, any small salary enhancements get largely swallowed up in tax and NI.

The 40% bracket needs shifting and fast.

I think Truss promised to increase it to £80K. Which will be really welcome. I am on more than OP, but also feeling the pinch (a single breadwinner with four dependants in London).

Cars can be expensive
lifestyle stuff such as beauty treatment, nails, hair, waxing
food: easy to spend too much esp. If you eat out a lot
clothes
holidays
refit card bills/paying off ddbts
sky

just look at your bank accounts and analyse your spending

A good thing is to look at all your subscriptions and see which ones you can reduce without penalty and do those first. It can take a couple of years to get through though eg phones and cars might be on a contract that you cant cancel - but you can at least plan what you will do next.

I get it OP (ignore the twats!) DH and I earn a decent combined salary but we never had any spare cash at the end of the month. Truthfully putting two DC through nursery (6 and 4 years ago!) set us back for years. We never qualified for any help. My dad passed away recently and it was only because he left us some money that we’ve been able to drag ourselves back to a decent standard of living.

definitely write out a budget and keep a record of all spending. You’ll be surprised where you can make savings. Cut down on some of the kid’s activities - mine get to choose one each per term. Do you have loads of subscriptions? Netflix, Prime, Disney or Spotify? Cut down to the one you use most and cancel the rest. Keep takeaways to once a month. Try shopping in Aldi

I do agree with a PP that a lot of people live surprisingly close to their income level with no buffer (by choice). I remember being stunned a couple of years ago when a colleague complained that she had to walk to work for the last couple of days of each month, because she couldn't afford to put petrol in the car - yet she had a really nice house, brand new car, and spent loads of money on socialising, clothes etc. Perhaps I'm unusually risk-averse, but I just can't imagine choosing to do that. She'd probably argue that she'd rather have the lifestyle than the security, which is fair enough - her choice. However, if people make those choices, then they take the risk of circumstances changing. (NB I also used to get sarky comments from her if I did anything expensive close to payday, about how it must be nice not to have to worry about money etc - so my sympathy about the walking to work was a bit limited.)

I get it OP

No fancy hair nails ect
We don't have take aways or eat out
Our rent and debt is equal to a mortgage payment (debt will be paid off this time next year)
We do meal plan so our food shops are around £80 a week for 5 of us
But we do have to watch where every penny is going.
Similar income to you.
The only thing is for us is that as young adults our income was low so compared to now I do feel incredibly lucky as if we were still in our previous situation it would be incredibly difficult hence why we have debt
No advice I suppose but just general understanding

We'd need a list of income and expenditure if you want real advice.

£100 for children's activities doesn't sound much, but it's the first non essential you can cut realistically, and many people are having to cut paid-for activities in the first instance.

Also £600 nursery fees? Is that for one child? Full time? If you only currently work part time then that's another cut you could make, unless you increase your hours.

Make some cuts and increase your hours. Not much else to be done.

This probably sounds patronising but have you written a budget to see exactly what you spend money on? I did one and was amazed about how much money was spent on pointless stuff that could easily be avoided - buying lunch every day in the office, taxis, etc.

Many people still believe that someone earning £50k plus is a ‘high’ salary when in fact it’s been hugely devalued even before the cost of living crisis. We just haven’t kept up.

It's quite above the average income for the UK, and more so given OP lives in the north. Those on much lower incomes will consider it high, obviously.

I see regular people turn on each other whilst those who make policy or are truly wealthy just carry on as normal unaffected. It’s why we remain a tiered society and why socialism never truly works.

The op fits the squeezed middle demographic. When people like the op start cutting back and only buy absolutely necessary items and does stuff like cancel activities for her children the knock on effect is huge especially for small businesses.

I volunteer at a community garden with a forest school attached. The forest school has had a lot of cancellations. The woman that runs it also does some voluntary sessions in schools. People like her run a genuine risk of losing their livelihood. Then maybe the kids who benefit from her voluntary work will not get those sessions because she has to take any job available or maybe she will have to claim benefits.

Whilst we all tend to look at our own circumstances the risk for society as a whole currently feels dire.

In very similar circumstances here OP. We’ve always lived within our means, never overstretched ourselves and always saved a small amount every month. However, our fixed rate mortgage is about to expire. Council tax has gone up every year for the last 4. Every bill we have is up:food, gas and electricity, childcare bills, cost of uniform. All above the rate of inflation. Both have public sector jobs, I’ve had around 1% pay rises each year, my partner has had a pay freeze then pay cut. Most of this we couldn’t foresee or prepare for. If this continues we’ll have to sell up and what equity we’ve managed to build up over the last 15 years buying, doing up and selling (meant to be for our children) will be gone. I’m terrified.

Hiya, sorry to hear you are struggling.
Just wanted to recommend going over to the moneysavingexpert forums and going to the debt free diaries or mortgage free diaries.
There is never any hostility over there about people's different earnings, Just practical advice and support. It might help as well to keep a diary over there to encourage lower spending and get support from others.

Oh poor you , how about setting up a begging Go Fund Me page ?

I still think you're rolling in it!

Yes, exactly!

It also has a knock-on effect for those on lower incomes. When people stop paying for non-essential extras, the low-paid workers providing those extras are out of a job and businesses are closing.

I agree with others, write down a budget and then track what you're actually spending. I was shocked when I started tracking how much I was spending a week, the trips to the corner shop etc all add up! It obviously won't solve things necessarily but it gives a decent start point to look at where perhaps money can be saved. I do red, Amber, green so red is for stuff we have to pay such as council tax, mortgage, petrol for work etc- amber is stuff we are keen to keep and then green is stuff we could cut without getting too upset if needed.

Why do people have to be so bitchy and bitter on here? Yes, it's a reasonably high salary, a lot more than some people have but a lot less than others' income.

I guess we all cut our cloth according to our situation. But clearly now is a time when people are going to have to review what some would consider essentials but others would consider luxuries.

Agree that it's sometimes the little things that can make a big difference if you cut back on them. And can you cut back on the children's activities? If it's swimming lessons that's a keeper but other things less so.

Good luck, OP.

Hi OP
In case you are still on here, I offer solidarity. My household has double your income and no dependents apart from some elderly and unwell cats. We have struggled in the past. It's not about the income its about the outgoings. And as regular people we literally have no control over those mostly.
There isn't a magic solution but if you budget it helps. And don't believe anything people around you say, many people have insane amounts of debt.

Also agree with this, smaller businesses are the first to suffer when people find their spare income is no longer spare.

I hate the rhetoric on here by some posters that people can only post about money and spending if they're on the breadline as others have it worse. In this thread for example the OP has clearly mentioned in the thread what she's posting about, so those who have come on to post negative things have clicked into it just to be spiteful. Plenty of people are now cutting back and it's hard, as on here there'll be a range of people on a range of incomes makes sense a range of people will post about it.