To be struggling to survive on 65k household income

[Soddinghell]

By the time we have paid mortgage, phone bills, bills car insurance, kids activities etc we barely have anything left. I don’t know what’s going on. DH earns 50k and I earn 15k part time. Please somebody help me I am thinking of going full time to stay afloat, I don’t know where we are going wrong, we are not in London or an expensive area, just outside manchester and people keep telling us we should be fine. We are not though!

OP can post what she likes. You don’t have to read it.

So what if there are people worse off, within the context of her post - it’s not a bloody race to the bottom is it. Or it shouldn’t be anyway.

What strikes me as very interesting on here are the high proportion of posters with disabilities and unable to work more. Makes sense that those on disabilities would probably have a lower income, but posters like that are over represented on these threads compared to National stats.

It’s not a fair comparison to say I am on £12k and am disabled and I manage. I mean sure, I bet you do…just…but why can’t OP ask her own questions about hot to better manage her finances.

And FWIW our household is an extremely high earning household, and we have noticed the difference in our monthly outgoings.

Yeah, because life is that straightforward isn’t it. (Almost) the dumbest post on this thread.

These sort of threads annoy me as no poster can help unless the OP writes out everything they’re spending.

And if they can do that then they can see for themselves where they’re going wrong.

Just write down a list of your outgoings and see what you can strip back.

We all live to our means, so if you earn £65k you’ll spend that much if you’re not careful.

You have at least £4k a month.
You spend £600 on childcare + £100 on activities = £700
Say your mortgage is £1k a month
That leaves you with more than £2k to spend on other bills and luxuries, which is more than enough, so look into which of these you can drop or find cheaper.

Working out your finances really shouldn’t be that difficult to do, especially if you’re getting above £25K.

I don’t know why some adult posters have to be told how to manage their finances.

Well clearly OP is finding it hard, hence why she has posted asking for help.

I am factoring in tax. It's still close to £4000 a month take home. I very much doubt OP is struggling to survive. She might be struggling to maintain the lifestyle she is used to but that's not the title of the thread.

The high prices are affecting everyone , we have a high income and we are struggling too. I am not ashamed of our high income, thirty years of my husband working over 50 plus hours a week . I am going to give myself a weekly budget as it’s too easy to keep spending on the debit cards. Try not to go to the supermarket unless you really have to as you will always find something to buy . Waiting for mobile phone contracts to go and then sim only. Write down everything you spend in a week and see where it’s going . It’s very grim !

I do think these threads are a bit insensitive when there are plenty of people on way less than you and single incomes (e.g. LPs working part time or not working and paying a high rent). I can only dream of having £65k, even with a big mortgage that's an amazing amount of income vs many people. It's not hard to cut down. well, there are people living on the streets who literally have nothing so if we’re making comparisons here even the single parent household is insensitive to post about how they’re struggling when there is always someone who is worse off.

Except it doesn’t work like that.

I don’t know why some adult posters have to be told how to manage their finances

because they’ve never needed to, nor properly learned to budget maybe.

Lot of assumptions in your post re finances roof isn’t there. Your post bybway of response is about as useful to the OP as hers was to you in making up these figures!

Uoi have left out lots of other things and have no idea what her bills
are.

My council tax and has/elec alone right now (this month) are £744 pcm. Before next price rise comes in. That not phone line/broadband, water, mobile bill (just one on a contract), petrol.

Then you have other major costs which usually come out once a year but need to be factored into monthly costs; insurance (car, house, life), road tax, MOT, maintenance of things

Your posts by way of helping makes utterly incorrect assumptions and serves no purpose.

I find it bizarre that children's activities are considered a non-essential luxury in the UK. I grew up in real poverty in the third world, and still had music and sport classes, as did all of my friends.

Council tax is crippling and we only live in a D band. We did receive the 150 off in May , but its bound to go over 2k a year next year
It's the one tax people tend to not really mention much, but it's still a lot to find.

Taking account of mortgage and childcare costs, you’ve got more money than OP 🙄

And let’s be honest, there are very few people out there, even those earning the bare minimum, who never have anything that is non essential.

No bar of chocolate, no bottle of wine, ironically it’s projected that those on the lower incomes are the ones who smoke cigarettes, which go for around £9.60 a packet.

As someone on a minimal income I actually think it’s easier to think of ways to manage because you’ve always had to do it. When you’ve always had the money to hand it’s harder because you’ve never had to think about money in the same way.

So if you’re used to having a holiday then suddenly not being able to afford one is an adjustment.

If you’re earning £65k a year then you’re going to have a bigger mortgage, in fact you’re likely to have a mortgage over the person on the lower income who has to rent, and with home ownership comes added cost:

boiler maintenance, DIY on the house, carpets, stuff that randomly needs to be fixed. All costs which the renter doesn’t have to cover because the landlord is supposed to do it.

There are so many, millions of families, struggling such that there is always a family worse off or better off than you. We are worse off than the OP, but that doesn’t make her struggle any less real. It can be hard for someone used to being comfortable to have to sacrifice parts of their lifestyle simply due to the cost of everything sky rocketing. It always feels massively unfair.

We are on a little less than you OP, no mortgage, and are starting to feel the pinch. I resent working hard and having nothing to show for it. I will be honest YES the most needy need help in this cost of living crisis but so do the squeezed middle.
And before anyone hands me my arse we have a large loan from home improvements we did in 2020 and didn't have a crystal ball. Now we're in it.

Go full time. You still get evenings and weekends off. That's plenty. Plus you get more chance to develop in your job/ career.

This is a fair comment and always applicable to women in part time roles.

I suppose from a financial perspective,
which is why OP is here, this only works if her childcare costs don’t wipe most of it out.

But yes, more work should more often than not result in more net income.

Go full time. You still get evenings and weekends off. That's plenty. Plus you get more chance to develop in your job/ career. this can be a false economy, because with full-time comes added childcare cost, and with the tax as well you’re often not significantly better off on full time salary than you are on part time.

If OP is paying £600 a month on childcare at the moment then that is likely to increase to £1000 plus if she goes full-time. It’s highly likely that her increased salary would cover the increased childcare cost.

because they’ve never needed to, nor properly learned to budget maybe.

How?

Surely even if you are on £100k you still need to learn to budget.

And they are two grown adults, it’s hard to understand how they can’t work out how to look at what they’re spending and cut back.

Why rely on strangers off the internet to do this for them when they can sit down and do it together with all the information in front of them.

It’s different if it was a single parent on a low income and they’re trying to make their budget stretch but OP has more than enough so it’s just working out where it’s all going, which none of us can help with.

We are in same boat. Same income. We have low mortgage, cheap area. 1
chikd. We have a high childcare bill atm though and fairly high petrol (no bus service). and two lowish dar payments (no bus service before this suggested). We are ok but don’t have huge savings as can only save a little bit after bills. If the 80% rise goes ahead we could cover it but any wiggle room completely gone. My DH could only cover it by doing overtime and he is exhausted already.

We both work full time as well.

*How?

Surely even if you are on £100k you still need to learn to budget*

You can keep questioning this all you like. But there are plenty of adults who don’t know how to do this.

Hoping each month that your income covers your outgoings and never having been negatively affected thus far isn’t budgeting is it. It’s blind luck.

Clearly OP and her household can’t do that any more.

Using your rational nobody would ever get into debt or need help. Clearly that’s not the case. But a big pat on the back for you for being to manage this so well 🙄

And FWIW I’ve never been in debt, and budget as I need to. Doesn’t mean most others can do the same.

I find it difficult to understand the middle income grumbling about feeling the squeeze and not getting help etc. I've been there and never thought I was earning more because I deserved more/worked harder than those earning minimum wage. It's simply not true. And I would not begrudge assistance to low income; someone on £65k is always in a better position.

It's not a race to the bottom to call bullshit on "struggling to survive in £65k". I'm not remotely offended, of course people can post what they like and it's better to get help managing finances than plough on living above your means ... but I do think it lacks a stunning lack of awareness of the times and challenges faced by many to post the thread as it is. I guess sometimes if we are caught up in our life that's easily done.

It's not what you earn, it's your outgoings. We are struggling even though we earn more than we ever have. We're not into eating out, clothes. We don't go on holiday, kids never been abroad. Run one car. It's all on bills. Our energy has already doubled to 300 per month this year. Its all relative.

OP has more than enough

Clearly she doesn’t.

You have no idea what her costs are do you. Her mortgage, council tax, any debts that may be serviced. Car payments etc. No idea.

So your figures, which btw would be wildly out for my household, are useless.

You have no clue so stop making ridiculous assumptions.