To be struggling to survive on 65k household income

[Soddinghell]

By the time we have paid mortgage, phone bills, bills car insurance, kids activities etc we barely have anything left. I don’t know what’s going on. DH earns 50k and I earn 15k part time. Please somebody help me I am thinking of going full time to stay afloat, I don’t know where we are going wrong, we are not in London or an expensive area, just outside manchester and people keep telling us we should be fine. We are not though!

😂

Yes, YABU. Ditch one of your cars and some activities and maybe find a job where you don't need to spend so much on childcare?

If you're really struggling you could ask for a referral to a food bank while you're looking for full time employment.

65k isn’t that much when it’s broken down, that’s probably about 3700/800 a month for a family for 4 say? After mortgage let’s guess 800-1000pcm and childcare fees you’ve said 600pcm then another 600-100 for other random bills and 1000pcm to feed a family or 4 that doesn’t leave much left.

good luck op I hope it all works out for you.

Anyone who lists a load of non-essentials that never even used to even exist years ago eg clubs, takeaways, phones, sky, hobbies, subscriptions, do tend to get their arse handed to them, because they may seem like "essentials" to them but so often they have to be pointed out as nice to haves not must haves.

unfortunately, our economy has been built on supplying goods and services that aren't sustainable in hard times, but cutting them out means that people's lives collapse like a pack of cards.

Well yes, bevause lifestyle inflation is because of your choices. Being able to pay all your bills and have activities is way beyond many peoples reach these days.

You’ve money to pay all your bills AND have enough for kids activities. That’s not struggling. You don’t have lots of frivolous spending money now which feels crappy but it’s still not struggling. I imagine a proper budget will help you see where you can make savings and mean you have more left over every month.

Unfortunately, you are not alone and just one of many

I am in a similar situation but struggling to stay afloat

Cut back as far as I can, no fat, as such, left, to remove, literally

At what point do people say “I want to pay my bills, but my wages don’t cover it”

Some people are already in a no win situation, eat or heat

It is not going to be pretty in the coming months if the Government don’t do something 😔😔😳

Get yourself a notebook and right down all of your income and all of your outgoings and be brutally honest with yourself when your doing it.

Then look back over,make sure you include everything like pocket money for children,school meals,any clubs, gym,books,TV channels memberships,take aways,meals out,days out,birthdays,Christmas,holidays,clothes and shoes absolutely everything.

There could be something that your still paying for and no longer using(tons of people get caught out with membership's for things they no longer use but have forgot to cancel the direct debits for)and have a look at any credit cards you have has well especially any that offered a really low interest rate for a certain amount of time,check that time hasn't passed and that your not being left with a interest rate that's gone through the roof.

£1000pm to feed a family of 4? You can do it for far less than that. There are 2 of us in my house and I spend no more than £300pm at the most.

I do think these threads are a bit insensitive when there are plenty of people on way less than you and single incomes (e.g. LPs working part time or not working and paying a high rent). I can only dream of having £65k, even with a big mortgage that's an amazing amount of income vs many people. It's not hard to cut down.

Yeah I've noticed this. I don't have a mortgage but I live in a flat rather than a house because it's cheaper. Not a dream home by any means but my income isn't huge as a single parent and I'd rather spend less on bills and know I've got a bit spare. At least it's a roof over our head.

Carry less cash with you. Order food shop online or go discount shops only. Stop any luxuries. Eat vegetarian dinners half the week to reduce costs. No booze in the week. Cancel subscriptions.

The point is, an income of £65k should be enough for the mortgage on a 3 bed house in the greater Manchester area, childcare, bills, a few extra curricular activities for the kids and for it not be a hardship.

Yes, OP could cut back on a few things, I'm sure, but £65k until recently afforded a family a good standard of living that included a few nice things (like gymnastic lessons for the kids). Yes, it's perfectly doable never to have a takeaway or a magazine subscription and not to let children do paid activities they enjoy - of course it is - but I can understand why the OP is aggrieved. One of the benefits of a higher salary should be that one has a higher disposable income.

I hope everyone who says this is a lot remembers that higher salary means a higher proportion is paid in taxes.
OP if you want some actual help post again or on here with all your outgoings. You have got to be willing to change and also be thick skinned enough to hear people say you are wasting money.
Unless you have mega mortgage, rent, childcare, debts, or put money into savings, the squeeze is likely due to “lifestyle spending”. You have become used to a lifestyle (which doesn’t probably feel very grand) which costs money, it will have crept in over the years and might be hard for you to recognise.
If you are saving monthly then that is exactly why you feel squeezed as many people can’t afford to do this.

If they are still open (not been on them in years) go post on the money saving expert forums, you will usually be told to go fill out all of your monthly expenses, incomings outgoing etc and then they will help you look at where thi by a can be cut back.

shopping is usually a quick win with switching from branded items or prepackaged to ingredients and cooking.

phone contracts usually another area of savings

car payments depending on term and type of contract pcp, loan etc may be a case of when it comes up going with a cheaper model/brand

kids activities may need to be cut back etc.

bus as a few people have said the killer is lifestyle creep. A lot of people fall into the trap of living one style above what they can afford. While things go good it’s usually okay but it makes them have no ability to react to any shocks in the system. Ultimately you will have to give up things and learn to live in less.

3 of us and a dog and until recently it was around £200 a month for us, and that wasn’t even being frugal and not getting treats, cake, etc

Now it’s around 230-250 ish with the price rises

OP, I understand where you’re coming from.
On mn, people always expect that those who are entitled to complain is those on the breadline but your feelings are also valid. 65k might seem like a lot but in the grand scheme of things, with every price rising, it’s not looking like a lot anymore as what you can afford 6 months ago easily is now becoming a squeeze, people unable to save, etc.
I find clubs like gymnastics work out to be more expensive than maybe a group sport like football so if clubs are important to your children, you might look into getting them to cheaper ones. If your dcs are learning swimming at a private club for example, you can look for your community clubs or leisure centres which are always cheaper, etc. cancel every unnecessary subscription, etc
Also, another obvious thing is to bring in more money and not increase your lifestyle in return so I would suggest you go back to work full time as well.

Your mortgage must be large .

Create a spreadsheet, list ALL outgoings including food petrol credit card payments take aways school dinner money etc etc

Do you have a joint account ?

£65k should be enough to live on. If not can you increase your hours ?

Our shared income is similar OP and we're struggling despite being very good at budgeting. We live in a modest ex council house haven't holidayed abroad since having children 10 years ago barely eat meat etc. People don't factor in the effect of tax - especially if you have one main earner - which is the same in our house.a good income quickly becomes not so good.

If you have a big mortgage and child care to pay for it's not going to stretch that far :(
It's sad how our young are being treated.
I feel for you op , I wished things were different.

Of course it should be enough, but OP said they were "struggling", it's not struggling if there are things you can cut back on.

Childcare fees are a temporary thing as well. It's a pain but they don't last forever. I have a teen and childcare fees are long gone.

Tax isn't the issue here, we all pay it and the OPs family will be paying less than many as the OP will be paying very little and her DH is still in the 20% band. Plus they'll keep all their CB, so their income will be quite a bit more than a single earner family on £65k who'll get no CB and pay more tax.

But seeing as the OP has given little detail about the size of their bills other than a £600 childcare bill, it's hard to say whether they should be struggling/just about managing/comfortable.

I hate the austerity porn that exists in society now...The gloating that unless you are absolutely on the bones of your arse, using toilet roll instead of tampons, then you have nothing to complain about. We should all go back to unheated houses, black mould on the ceiling, hands and feet itchy with chillblains and put 2 jumpers on for Christ's sake. Eat meals consisting of mainly potato or bread, I grew up like that, it was miserable. There is nothing extravagant about wanting a coffee or having a TV subscription or even about just wanting to be bloody warm.

Why are we tearing each other down when there are companies and individuals making millions out of people struggling.

We are in a similar place to the OP, we buy in a lot of safety nets that are beginning to be crippling. Redundancy insurance, critical health, sickness, private health cover, no NHS dentist, topping up kid's uni loans. We live in an expensive part of the UK and rural, which doesn't help - so big mortgage, but not extravagent house, no local lidl or Aldi etc.

We are struggling, we've been hit with so many bills, Dh's car going caput, boiler is terminal, problems with the roof, the list is endless. DD is ill and can't maintain a job at uni, so we help her out. Yes, we can cancel all the insurance, but we all have health problems, DH's job won't support him waiting for the NHS and it just means we will be a further burden on the state - how is that helpful? I just feel we are hanging by a thread.