For wanting my freckles removed?

[Cass1ope1a]

I’ll try to keep it short. Until recently, I looked extremely young for my age. (For example: When I was 30, people regularly mistook me for my 31 year old sister’s daughter). It has, however, been a tough six years, with the death of my mum, an international move to a rather inhospitable place, two difficult pregnancies and parenting two small children with almost single-handedly. And it has aged me by years.

The colour and texture of my skin has changed (there are no wrinkles as such but the area around my eyes looks more hollow iykwim), and my hair is dry and thin. In short, I look fucking awful. The worst part is that I am now covered in freckles when I used to only have a few. I guess it’s the climate here, even though I wear sunscreen all the time. Normally I like freckles but on me I feel like they are very ageing because they make my skin look dull.

On a recent trip back to the UK I was ID’d buying a lottery ticket so perhaps I do still look young-ish for my age, but I certainly don’t look fresh and vital and healthy. I look tired and dull and grey.

Anyway, I’m so sad about how I look that I am seriously considering getting my freckles lasered off and then (if I still look terrible) getting Botox. My husband is angry about it - he says I’m delusional - but even if he is right that I don’t look as bad as I think, I am sick of feeling so shitty about my appearance and I want to fix it. I think he should respect that. Thoughts?

Sorry this ended up being longer than I wanted. Thank you if you got this far.

Mad. Freckles are beautiful and youthful. They are a huge trend at the moment - people get them tattooed on.

With kindness - you should consider therapy to talk about the difficult events of the last few years, and your critical focus on aspects of your appearance.

I certainly don’t look fresh and vital and healthy. I look tired and dull and grey.

How's your general health and fitness? Could your diet do with improving? What about things like iron levels, vitamins etc? I'd look at all those things first.

If your hair is having issues I'd address other areas of your health and wellbeing before messing with your face. Freckles will fade naturally if you return to a cooler climate anyway.

Cosmetic work won’t make you look better. You need to destress and do some self care to get your vitality back.

Can you even get freckles lasered off?

i’d just be more careful in addition to a really high SPF, wear a hat and avoid being in the sun at all.

Yes you can. It’s supposed to be painless and risk-free. I wonder if anyone on here has had it done.

Why are you focusing on freckles?

They don't make you look older or younger.

From what you've said, you probably need some blood tests and a chat with your GP.

To me they look more like sun damage than cute freckles, so I do find them ageing.

Freckles are lovely!

It sounds like you might need to do a general health and well being re-vamp though, along with more surface stuff like skincare.

Get your bloods done, sort out anything that needs sorted. See a derm or a tricologist about your hair. Sleep, diet, rest. Good skincare routine. Reassess in a year, but I bet you'll be sorted.

... but coming back to your point OP.

What is certain is that your freckles aren't your main problem, if they are a problem at all. So I think for your own sake you should sort out what needs sorting, and then in a year if you want them done, sure, he will have to suck it up.

But if you do them now, I think you will feel and look absolutely no better, whilst annoying your husband. This is a lose lose.

As someone who's had lasering, you need to know that you'll end up with reverse freckles - so whiter patches where the pigment is removed. I'd never recommend it for the face unless you had a genuine terrible blemish. Besides, if your skin has the propensity to make freckles, it's only a matter of time before new ones would come. The best thing to get a glowing fresh complexion is plenty of healthy food/water & moderate exercise, no smoking and only light alcohol. We all lose our youth but then the brightness of our character shines though if we're happy. Not all older people look crap.

Forgot to mention decent sleep too.

I hear you OP, young children and stress certainly makes you feel like you've aged 10 years overnight BUT getting your freckles removed to feel more youthful seems a bit extreme AND if you go ahead and still feel thr same after having it done then what? I think you should experiment a bit first with, drinking more water, getting more sleep, other treats to make yourself better, maybe getting your nails or hair done, investing in some new make up, making sure you have a beauty skin routine. I have 2 young children and freckles too and I get you can just feel old and haggered sometime but a good night sleep and plenty of water ( 3 litres a day) improves how I feel and look.

@HappyPeach Never drank, never smoked, drink water constantly, cycle every day. I honestly don’t know why I look so bad.

Sleep? Healthy diet? Skincare? Make up? Hair? Clothing? There are lots of things you can do that don’t involve lasers.

Freckles don’t age you. That’s just not a thing. Lots of other stuff can, however. You can tackle those things, if you choose to.

You say you look dull, tired and grey. You probably feel dull, tired and grey inside too. Try and address the internal issues first before visiting a clinic.

May I ask, have you actually told DH that your current life is wearing you down? Is there a reason he doesn't help with the DC? What about the place where you live? Is it for good or just a few years?

Please remember that even the most beautiful women in the world look like crap when they are knackered and unhappy. Whilst it is your skin and you can do whatever you see fit with it, I'd urge you not to be too hasty.

As someone who's had lasering, you need to know that you'll end up with reverse freckles - so whiter patches where the pigment is removed.

I don't know where you had your treatment or what type of laser was used but I use to perform this treatment and this didn't happen with the machine I used. There is a risk of uneven skin tone but this usually only happens if you have some tan when the skin is treated.

OP you can laser freckles but they will come back with any sun exposure and if treatment is too aggressive it can actually cause hyperpigmentation. I use to advise clients against laser treatment for freckles because it doesn't represent value for money in the long term. Laser skin rejuvenation is a good treatment though. You may be better off with skin care products which tackle hyperpigmentation, vitamin C or retinol can help but need to be used over the long term. Things are changing all the time so there may even be developments I'm not aware (I no longer work in this area) of but do your research before paying a fortune for any products or treatment.

You say: It has, however, been a tough six years, with the death of my mum, an international move to a rather inhospitable place, two difficult pregnancies and parenting two small children with almost single-handedly.

And on the other hand, also: Never drank, never smoked, drink water constantly, cycle every day. I honestly don’t know why I look so bad.

You 'look so bad' because of stress, and because, thinking you look bad, every time you look in the mirror you see a defeated, discontented face looking back.

Love and kindness to your face/self will help more than lasers, etc.

People pay lots if money to look young 🤣 embrace it while you can

Thank you for your kind words.

The thing with me is that I always think I look good… until I accidentally catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror or someone takes a photo of me. Then it feels like being punched in the stomach.

I love freckles, I think they're beautiful! It sounds like you've had a heck of a lot on your plate recently and I think it's pretty understandable why self care has maybe not been your priority for a wee while and it sounds like it's knocked your confidence. I'd suggest investing a bit more time into loving yourself, treat yourself to the hairdresser for a new cut, get your nails done, enjoy a bubble bath, go for a lovely relaxing facial or massage. You don't need to change anything about yourself - you just need to take a bit of time to remind yourself that you're important and be a little kinder to yourself. Could even be as simple as putting some affirmations up around the mirrors in your house to challenge the negative thoughts that have become habit.

Life with two small children is tiring. But as they get older and less tiring and you get more sleep you'll find that the old you comes back.

If you’re not doing proper skincare then lasering off your freckles won’t actually help that much. Get a good regime of chemical peels in place first

Are you underweight at all?

You say you use sunscreen everyday but is it SPF50 - is it enough for the amount of exposure you are getting? You say you cycle everyday - why? Is that a commute?

My daughter had an eating disorder - anorexia - body dysmorphia was an important element for her but anxiety was a key problem - her hair condition deteriorated noticeably - dry, thin, falling out. She also drank water as a substitute for food; this is why I ask about your weight. She constantly over-exercised - walking everywhere, running excessively and many other things - as well as the tight control over how much and what she ate; people wrongly IMHO call it an eating disorder but it's a mental health problem - one of the strangest, most complex and hard to understand problems I have ever had to deal with in my life - life changing for everyone involved (many years down the line now but she is well now and expecting a baby).

I know it will make no difference to how you feel about your freckles ATM but I can't recall ever seeing anyone with freckles and thinking they were a negative in any way.

As others have suggested - I think you are focusing on an innocent component of yourself and that you need to stand back and look at the bigger picture - your general health, mental health/motivations to exercise, diet - vitamins/minerals.

Can you maybe try some beauty products? I hate to say have a spa day but maybe try some pampering and some less invasive treatments like a facial and a hair coloring/ moisturizing mask?