For wanting my freckles removed?

[Cass1ope1a]

I’ll try to keep it short. Until recently, I looked extremely young for my age. (For example: When I was 30, people regularly mistook me for my 31 year old sister’s daughter). It has, however, been a tough six years, with the death of my mum, an international move to a rather inhospitable place, two difficult pregnancies and parenting two small children with almost single-handedly. And it has aged me by years.

The colour and texture of my skin has changed (there are no wrinkles as such but the area around my eyes looks more hollow iykwim), and my hair is dry and thin. In short, I look fucking awful. The worst part is that I am now covered in freckles when I used to only have a few. I guess it’s the climate here, even though I wear sunscreen all the time. Normally I like freckles but on me I feel like they are very ageing because they make my skin look dull.

On a recent trip back to the UK I was ID’d buying a lottery ticket so perhaps I do still look young-ish for my age, but I certainly don’t look fresh and vital and healthy. I look tired and dull and grey.

Anyway, I’m so sad about how I look that I am seriously considering getting my freckles lasered off and then (if I still look terrible) getting Botox. My husband is angry about it - he says I’m delusional - but even if he is right that I don’t look as bad as I think, I am sick of feeling so shitty about my appearance and I want to fix it. I think he should respect that. Thoughts?

Sorry this ended up being longer than I wanted. Thank you if you got this far.

@larkstar I’m sorry to hear about your daughter’s problems but glad she’s doing better. No I’m not underweight, I’ve been the same weight since I was about 12, about 54kg. I eat healthy because I want the kids to eat healthy.

The cycling every day is for fun mostly.

I think I do have a good skincare routine but I haven’t tried chemical peels yet.

I'm going to disagree with most of the people in these comments. I don't see any problem with potentially getting your freckles removed. Although you've been through some stressful times recently, wanting to change something about your looks doesn't always indicate some kind of underlying mental health problem, and doing things like drinking more water doesn't always change every single one of your features in the way you'd like. You've made it clear that you have a healthy lifestyle and don't like the way the freckles are making you look. Some people feel better wearing makeup, coloring their hair, etc, so I don't see how this is any different (well, except that makeup is a hassle to put on every single day and a thick coat of it can make you feel icky...)

In terms of the exact procedure you might want to get, I'd say go to someone who specializes in that sort of thing to talk through your options and the risks and benefits. Everything does have risk but for some things the risks are very, very minimal. FOJN had a good idea about the possibility of laser skin rejuvenation. Maybe you'll decide you want that, or maybe the freckle thing, or something else, or maybe nothing. But if you decide on getting the freckles lasered off, I don't think your husband's opinion should stop you. I mean, you shouldn't completely disregard his opinions (after all he's probably just saying how beautiful you already are!) and you are partners in decision-making. But ultimately it's your body, and I really can't see him forbidding you from doing this if it's important to you. He'll probably tell you that he doesn't particularly want you to do it or would advise against it but that it's ultimately up to you and he'll support you either way. You'll have to take all his words into consideration, really reflecting upon how you ARE beautiful and the reasons he doesn't find it necessary, but if it will still make you feel more comfortable in your own skin then tell him you thought about what he said but would still like the procedure. Again, it's your body, so what will make you happy is really what matters.

To throw in my own opinion though (lol... after saying that really only your opinion matters)... I like lasers better than botox. I've had a lot of laser hair removal, laser scar removal, and also a surgical cosmetic surgery on my neck, but I don't think I'll ever have botox. I'm afraid of how people get hooked on it and end up with frozen faces. That being said though I'm not an expert and I guess in moderation it might not be bad. It does give me way more pause than lasers though.

I thought the advice on waiting a year to see if you still want the freckles removed wasn't a bad idea, but if you're pretty certain you'll still want this in a year and it will drive you crazy until then, I don't think you necessarily have to wait. If you talk to a beautician or whoever now then you can have a more informed conversation with your husband and think about the options before making a decision. Not all procedures are available everywhere, so you'll need to figure out the local options, and you might want a couple of doctors to weigh in, look into priciing, etc, and then from there you can decide if you're going to go ahead with something now or wait a year or whatever else.

I suspect you are just naturally aging, as we all are. I changed massively from 30-37 (wrinklers, uneven skin, greying/thinning etc), and didn't have a particularly stressful life. I just got older and aged. Its not pleasant, but it is what it is. Its hard to embrace it OP, but you have to. Otherwise, you'll constantly be fighting a losing battle.

Like you I looked very young into my 40s then I had another baby and covid happened and I aged rapidly, or so I though. Truth is I just started to catch up with my peers. I still look much younger than my age but older than I’m used to seeing. It’s a fact of life and something we just have to accept. We can’t be ID’d forever and to be honest it’s a bit of a relief it doesn’t happen now.

I used to hate my freckles op but without them l would be so pale - my face is absolutely covered in them. Have decided to embrace them....they are part of me.
Sounds like freckles are a red herring and you need to try a different resolve other issues x

When I used to live in Europe, I'd get a few freckles here and there in the summer. Now I live in the tropics my entire face is one HUGE freckle (despite suncream, shade, barely going out in the midday heat etc.), they've decided to joined up and make ONE gigantic freckly blob- but not all over, oh no, there's a nice, non freckly rectangle in the middle of my forehead.

I CAN even it out a bit with foundation/powder etc if I want to for an evening out or whatever, but I generally don't bother because it'll only sweat off anyway within seconds! I've decided to embrace it. I agree with the others, maybe see a GP/Therapist to talk through some possible self-esteem issues.

Anecdote: when I lived in an Asian country with seasons, I went for a 2 week, winter break to the tropics. When I came back, all my local colleagues were staring at me and many (MANY!!) asked with horror, 'Oh no, what's wrong with your face!??!' Erm... nothing. It's just my face. Just delightful!

Don't age the freckles.
Don't airbrush them.
Don't laser them.
They're natural beauty.

I'm livid for the fact that this thread has been started.

@sandysmummy Thank you. I don’t feel like the freckle thing is indicative of deeper self esteem issues either - I just don’t like mine and I want them gone so I can get on with my life and not have to think about them anymore. It’s not an issue that requires therapy.

Get the freckles removed if you want. However be prepared for the fact that you are still aging, and that’s not going to stop. I’m in my mid 40’s and some days I think I look pretty damn good for my age… other days I wonder when the old age train ran over me.

My philosophy is do the things that make you feel happy but like with anything moderation is key and knowing when to stop (seriously some women and men just look terrible and ridiculous after going down the cosmetic surgery path).

Me if I ever did think about cosmetic surgery it would be a neck lift… that’s the part that I think is aging me. But I probably won’t ever be bothered to get it done.

They'll just come back though OP, unless you're prepared to spend the rest of your life indoors.

I'd need to do a LOT of research to be convinced they wouldn't end up lasering off the top of any visible moles, which can be incredibly dangerous - you need to be able to see them to track changes.

I started using skin and me (from a code on here-I have a code if you want one).

It definitely freshened my face. It was dull after a few years' stress.

I'm freckled too and initially hated them. As I've aged they look better, and anything I've done to make them less visible just no longer looks like me.

You might be at just the wrong moment for your freckles- in a few years time they'll have a rejuvenating effect! When other people fat age spots, you'll just have freckles!

I tried having some lasered off on my arms and unfortunately they just came back very quickly, despite wearing spf50 every day.

I’m very freckly and since I was small. My dad was a very freckly red head and we lost him when I was very young. I don’t look like him at all but the freckles remind me who I am. Yeah I get more every year and they are kind of merging in to one big freckle, but they are me, they are my face. Wrinkles, fine I’d drop them in a moment. These freckles are my DNA.

As an aside they are so in fashion that people are getting them tattooed on at the moment.

I had lazer for my 40th. It wasn't for my freckles but living in a sunny place I had developed some dark patches on my jawline and a couple of other bits. The freckles went along with the dark patches and never came back. Now I just turned 60 and the dark patches are starting to come back and I'm debating doing it again. For me it was worth every penny.
I use SPF 20 face cream daily and always have.

Hi OP I think I know what you mean about the freckles, are they more patchy pigmentation rather than a lovely sprinkle of freckles across your nose?

Laser didn’t work for me on pigmentation but Hydroquinone cream worked wonders, you can order it on sites like Dermatica where you complete a skin questionnaire and send photos, I really recommend.

They're part of your ethnicity/natural melanin distribution.

Which is why my mother wanted me to 'have those awful things burned off your face with acid'

I didn't.

I would try a skincare routine first rather than diving in to Botox!

@NeverDropYourMooncup My mother said mine “look like dirt” but I kind of agree with her in my case.

@NeverDropYourMooncup Yeah but my excess body hair is also part of my ethnicity and is natural for me! It's natural for a lot of people but still very commonplace to shave it off. For me I had a lot of it removed with lasers and electrolysis. It just made me feel better about myself. A hairy stomach is not something I wanted, and even with shaving my armpits every day the hair was always so course that the thick stubble was constantly itchy. Not that I'm saying there's anything wrong with freckles or body hair. Some women rock the body hair and I admire them for it! And I agree that freckles are beautiful, cute, and "in" right now. I see people painting them on their faces with makeup. I just think we should all do what makes us feel good and comfortable, as long as we're being safe about it. I do think there's a fine line between "this is what I want on my own volition" and "this is what the patriarchy has culturally conditioned me to want," and those things can get tangled up in each other. There should also be more cultural acceptance of women's naturally aging bodies. But I don't think any woman who tries to manage the aging process in some way or tweak her appearance is always hating on her ethnicity or has other deep-seated issues. It could just be that she feels empowered having more control over this or that aspect of her appearance and wants to treat herself to something at the medspa.

I got my freckles lasered off and got great results (no white patches as someone unthread experienced) and no, they haven’t come back and I got them done in a series over a decade ago (I am very good with sunscreen tho). I also get ‘refresh’ sessions about once every couple of years with a CO2 laser.

People are being strangely weird for something that’s just a minor cosmetic treatment. I’d move this to Style and Beauty for a less judgey response tbh

This is a psychological issue, not a problem with your face, I would suggest.

I would do some work on your thoughts rather than take it out on your face!

@BerriesOnTop You’re right. I would not to have posters trying to analyse my mental state just for saying I was considering a very minor and relatively inexpensive cosmetic procedure. To me it’s not dissimilar to having treatments to improve the condition of your hair or getting your teeth whitened. If it makes you feel better and you can afford it, why not?

Also, whoever it was that said freckles are part of my ethnicity, they’re not.

Oh how as I child I wished and longed for my freckles to be gone and now they actually could be!?? Well I’ll be dammed why hadn’t I heard of this before.

If you put some tinted moisturiser on, it’ll brighten up your skin and freckles. Mine look dull at the end of summer when they’re fading too.

I think freckles are stunning
I always wanted freckles. Please show us