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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would like to go to graduation

82 replies

Flutterbybudget · 04/09/2022 16:54

My DS just graduated.this Summer
I asked him when his ceremony is, and it’s in November
Hes taking his girlfriend (fair) and his grandmother (my ex MIL) who was awful to me for years, and has very little to do with him for the past 5 years. She ignores 2 of my other children and has caused innumerable problems for my family over the years.
Neither she, nor my ex have supported my DS in uni, financially or with lifts/ accommodation through the holidays or Covid.
I don’t want to say anything to him, because it wouldn’t make any difference. Even if he changed his plans now, and invited me, I’d know that he’d wanted her to go instead of me. I’m just venting, but I’m really hurt.
I’ve done everything for him and his siblings since my husband and I separated. Financially, emotionally, lifts, my time etc. and it feels like a slap in the face tbh.
(I suspect, that he’s decided that he didn’t want to have to choose between me and his dad, and I can’t really blame him for that, I suppose, even if his dad hasn’t done much for him).

OP posts:
Original poster
Flutterbybudget · 06/09/2022 19:52

Stillfunny · 06/09/2022 12:35

You are right to be upset. You are not included in any of the celebrations on the actual day.

I think that your son is being very thoughtless and inconsiderate towards you . There is no harm in drawing his attention to this. Too often , women , especially mothers , supress their own feelings. He is an adult and should have said No to his Dad's family taking over the whole day. Is there anyone that can point this out to him ? So what, if he is made to feel guilty . He should take accountability for his decisions .
Can you tell that I am so very very sad for you?

His older brother just hit the roof 🙈 I’m not sure whether to tell him to stay out if it, or sit back and watch the fireworks tbh
I suppose that I feel that whatever happens next, I’ll always know that I wasn’t his priority on this occasion.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 06/09/2022 20:14

Not surprised your older son has hit the roof it's so upsetting.

Seemslikeaniceday · 06/09/2022 20:46

I would let his older brother talk to him. They will have a different relationship and it will be easier for him to point out why you should be going.

Kite22 · 06/09/2022 21:03

I would let his older brother talk to him. They will have a different relationship and it will be easier for him to point out why you should be going.

I agree.

Brefugee · 06/09/2022 21:15

yep, let his older brother point out what a twat he's being. But don't beg, OP, don't be desperate. But don't throw him a party.

DaffyDaydream · 06/09/2022 21:32

I can really understand the hurt you are feeling. Don’t have any advice, but so sorry.

ColadhSamh · 07/09/2022 12:05

I am glad your older son has 'hit the roof'. Rightly so. Please do not try and prevent him from telling his brother a few home truths. Your younger son hasn't disrespected you and needs to be called out.

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