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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF offering to buy MIL house

84 replies

Glitterlikeawinner · 04/09/2022 15:34

I'm absolutely fuming about a CF behaviour today, but AIBU?

We had the sad day of starting to clear MIL house (mobile home) as she has gone into long term care for dementia. A thoroughly sad situation through and through, today we went through clothes, found old school reports of my husbands etc. Very emotional for both of us.

Anyway, while we were there, there was a knock at the door and this CF didn't even introduce himself but just said, are you selling this place. He goes on to say he's spoken to park owner to enquire about the property as I think he's bought others on park and done them up to resell. I'm stood in the bedroom thinking what a CF, but my DH trying to be pleasant although oversharing completely tells him about his mum and financial situation in the need to sell property. CF continues to talk about he'd basically keep the roof and tear everything else down...my DH family home which his dad built and although old is in a reasonable state of repair. He then proceeds to come in and say how dated the place is. Bloody rude!

I input we're not in any rush to sell and will get a valuation to which he says, you'll only get a few thousand for this. I comment the property opposite, considerably smaller, recently sold for over £100k to which he replies that was newer and you won't get that for this place. My blood was boiling! DH sees him out and the guy says to keep in touch as he's interested. I think there's more chance of pigs flying than us getting in touch with him!!

AIBU? Husband wasn't massively bothered but I was fuming, who does that!!!

OP posts:
ThePumpkinPatch · 04/09/2022 17:23

Auntpodder · 04/09/2022 17:20

That's awful. During Covid, there was a zoom wake for the mum of a friend of mine. One of the first people to speak were her neighbours asking about her car because if she didn't need it anymore... Luckily her family hadn't arrived back from the crematorium but the rest of the zoom was struck dumb...

PLEASE tell me somebody said something to them?

shazzybazzy34 · 04/09/2022 17:25

Nobfucker. Ignore him.

Original poster
Glitterlikeawinner · 04/09/2022 17:25

FictionalCharacter · 04/09/2022 17:15

He was rude to come in and say the place was dated and you wouldn’t get much for it, but you should have already shut him down by then.
Your DH was foolish to tell an opportunistic stranger personal details about family and finances. I hope he isn’t always that naive.

Not normally, he's got a firm head on him but emotionally what he's going through at the moment and being caught a little off guard caused him to over share somewhat!

OP posts:
SunnyD44 · 04/09/2022 17:25

The ambulance was still outside and you already had people interested in your poor Gran's house? The day she died/went into a home? Are you Serious??

Unfortunately I’m deadly serious.

Although he came around on the pretence that he was wondering if everything was ok and if there’s anything he can do - but that was the the first sentence and then rest was about her home.

SunnyD44 · 04/09/2022 17:26

One of the first people to speak were her neighbours asking about her car because if she didn't need it anymore...

Why are people so selfish!

Original poster
Glitterlikeawinner · 04/09/2022 17:30

Sad to read from posts that this frequently occurs at the most inappropriate times😔

OP posts:
Swimmingpoolsally · 04/09/2022 17:30

I mean this gently but if he’d said it was lovely and worth a hundred grand would you have been happy?

i ask because you immediately jumped in with what maybe an unrealistic value rather than saying it’s too early and we are not considering selling you immediately jumped to its worth good money.

Original poster
Glitterlikeawinner · 04/09/2022 17:32

Brendabigbaps · 04/09/2022 17:12

I belong on the petty thread but I’d have taken his details and then refused to sell to him further down the line

Yep, he left his name and address so I'll be certain of declining any offers from him!

OP posts:
Original poster
Glitterlikeawinner · 04/09/2022 17:36

Swimmingpoolsally · 04/09/2022 17:30

I mean this gently but if he’d said it was lovely and worth a hundred grand would you have been happy?

i ask because you immediately jumped in with what maybe an unrealistic value rather than saying it’s too early and we are not considering selling you immediately jumped to its worth good money.

I did tell him that we were not in any rush to sell and still lots to sort etc, can't recall what I said first, think I said that as he was leaving so he knew we wouldn't be I touch!

I wouldn't have been snapping his hand off to buy if he suggested 100k as we are just not there yet, but would have been far nicer to hear that he complimented her home and acknowledged its value.

OP posts:
Swimmingpoolsally · 04/09/2022 17:39

Op, again gently you said In your op that your husband was explaining the financial situation and how it needed to be sold?

Damnautocorrect · 04/09/2022 17:40

youd be amazed how often it works op.

im sorry you had to deal with this shit today

Babyghirl · 04/09/2022 17:42

@Glitterlikeawinner
My granny past away at 6.40 am and her neighbours daughter was down at the housing executive at half 8 am same day asking if she could have the house, my granny was lying in a hospital bed dead in the living room waiting on the undertakers coming to take her, nice to say she never got the house my aunt did. Some brass necks out there.

mamabear715 · 04/09/2022 17:47

@Glitterlikeawinner
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that tosser.
I guess a lot of people have the same story, I certainly do when my sis & I were selling my late mum's home. Won't bore anyone with the story as it's similar to others, just wanted to say I hope you & DH are ok & give any other CF's short shrift. Hugs..

SeasonFinale · 04/09/2022 17:48

I actually think the thing is in many situations people may be relieved someone is wanting to buy and making an approach. You say you were sorting items out and therefore I guess he was justified in asking. Your Dh brought him in (knowing why he was there). ahead started the its dated etc as part of the normal I will only pay this much negotiation. You actually engaged in the same by stating you know what others have gone for in the area.

Yes it was cheeky of him to approach but having made the approach and having then been invited in to view anything after that point merely became part of the process.

Frankly if you can get a buyer this way and get the true value saving fees and viewings I don't think it matters who ends up with it surely.

Anxietyriddenx · 04/09/2022 17:49

Well you won’t be getting over 100k for a mobile home that old… dream on

Sillybillypoopoomummy · 04/09/2022 17:51

did you get a name? just say to the estate agent that you won't sell to x...

Swimmingpoolsally · 04/09/2022 17:54

Op I think maybe it’s best to get a valuation and hold off with the upset until then. A lot of your upset seems to be as he said it wasn’t worth much and you seem to think it’s worth an awful lot. I suspect the truth is somewhere in the middle. He might end up your only offer.

custardbear · 04/09/2022 17:57

What a wanker! I'd go out of my way not to sell to him!
People are shitty! Our neighbour sold their home to a landlord who is the same. We live in a very expensive area and we're close to the high street so prime. He was trying to get us to sell our home to him and offered less than he bought his house for, which was insane as our home is larger, more land and better nick. We renovated, he did his best to stop it, but it failed. Now he goes on about we paid too much (how does he know what we paid!) goes on about how he won't pay for anything that should be shared as he wants to get his 'chap' to do it and tries to charge us a fortune- he's a c**t and I'm afraid you've also met one
Sorry about your MIL and stay strong and so what's best for the family home

mam0918 · 04/09/2022 18:02

I know someone who had a stroke and was rushed to hospital, they survived and when they got out found their house had been cleared and put up for sale by their son who didnt even bother to go to the hospital or check if their mother was ok.

He was told on the phone when she was taken to hospital that it was touch and go and they should prepare to say goodbye and instead of going to sit with her and the rest of the family they went straight to selling the house before she was even dead, she recovered and lived another 5 years after that.

Some people are just selfish and can only think of whats in anything for them.

DDivaStar · 04/09/2022 18:02

Glitterlikeawinner · 04/09/2022 16:56

Agreed, husband shouldn't have engaged further than saying we are anticipating selling into into future and ended conversation. I wouldn't have been massively peeved if it went this far about someone enquiring as it shows there is interest.

My point was more that he could see we are literally clearing through items and had been aware that his mum is only recently moved into a care home due to the info he got from the park owner and subsequently my husbands update, and still persisted in complaining about the decor and saying we wouldn't get any value for it (which is why I defended the property and making sure he knew we weren't stupid, by confirming recent house sales in the area). Who does THIS. If you are welcomed into a home be polite and say it would be a great opportunity for him to invest in the property and to keep him in mind, dont berate someone's home to the owner/ son who's childhood home it is 🙄

I believe mobile homes don't hold value well so he may have been right and actually trying to be helpfull.

Kite22 · 04/09/2022 18:05

SeasonFinale · 04/09/2022 17:48

I actually think the thing is in many situations people may be relieved someone is wanting to buy and making an approach. You say you were sorting items out and therefore I guess he was justified in asking. Your Dh brought him in (knowing why he was there). ahead started the its dated etc as part of the normal I will only pay this much negotiation. You actually engaged in the same by stating you know what others have gone for in the area.

Yes it was cheeky of him to approach but having made the approach and having then been invited in to view anything after that point merely became part of the process.

Frankly if you can get a buyer this way and get the true value saving fees and viewings I don't think it matters who ends up with it surely.

I agree with this and so many others - including your dh.
You are over reacting.

The man is interested in buying property and had become aware that this property is going to go on the market soon. Perfectly reasonable from a business pov to start the conversation when you were there. How is he supposed to know how much you will be there or when you will be back.

Ultimately selling a property is a business transaction.

Piffle11 · 04/09/2022 18:06

He was chancing his arm. People like him rely on the beneficiaries of the house wanting to be rid quickly.

Years ago, my MIL's (knob head) DH told me that they were moving into a bungalow not far from where we lived (they already lived pretty close to us). He said that the man living there had died, and his widow would be moving out. Months later I got to know the widow, and she had told me that MIL had visited her a few times after her husband's death - 'nice of her, as I don't really know her' - but then she hadn't seen her for a long while … MIL was laying the groundwork to be first in line for the property. Apparently the widow had no intention of leaving, so MIL didn't visit anymore!

LondonJax · 04/09/2022 18:08

@Glitterlikeawinner - he wasn't going to compliment your MIL home because he wants a bargain. So he's going to point out every single defect in the hope that it'll put doubt in your mind. Ignore him. He rude but, at the end of the day, he's in it for what he wants, not for what you need.

You don't have to sell to him (I personally wouldn't even if he made a sensible offer as I'm pretty sure he'd knock that down near completion).

A house is as attractive as the person buying it's taste. Thirty years ago I had a little terraced house. It had a pink bathroom suite. My ex and I never got round to replacing it as it was in good condition and we had other priorities. So when we put it up for sale we had a potential buyer who said 'oh my God, a pink bathroom suite - that's awful, that's coming out' to our faces and offered a low price to reflect it. We went back and laughed in her face (metaphorically). Whilst she did a to and fro offering tiddly bits more each time, another woman came. 'A pink bathroom suite - reminds me of my old house, really retro' and offered full asking price! Taste is as taste does. What's dated to one is retro to another.

If he gets in touch again tell him to contact via the estate agent at the time. No more viewings off the street.

MargaretThursday · 04/09/2022 18:09

If he comes back ask his name.
Then if you come to sell tell the estate agent you won't sell to him.

Original poster
Glitterlikeawinner · 04/09/2022 18:09

We are fully aware mobile homes are not as valuable and we may not hit the 100k mark or even close, I'm just looking at similar properties in the area, most are selling in excess of £150k - the property opposite, while newer is half the size and not much land around it and this sold for £100k. In the current market mobile homes may be a cheaper alternative to retirement homes (her park is now strictly for retired residents only) so we do think there will be some interest. We do need a proper valuation though as part of financial assessment for her care and to understand what it's worth but I'd like to think more than a few thousand that this CF quoted.

OP posts:
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