Man with a baby pushing in toilet queue - AIBU?

[Scrappydoo668]

Yesterday I was waiting in line for the loo in a restaurant. There were two toilets, non-gendered (a man and a woman symbol on both), one had a baby change table in, the other didn’t.

I was at the front of the line, an older man behind me. Then came two more people to wait, and a man holding a baby.

The man with the baby walked to the top of the line and stood by the toilet door with the baby change inside and tried to open it. I said “oh, it’s occupied, we’re waiting,” and gestured to the growing queue.

He was perfectly nice, we all made polite eye rolling chit chat about toilet queues.

Someone came out of said toilet with the baby change facilities and the man with the baby went to walk in and glanced at me. Because, what’s the point, I wasn’t desperate I said, “you’ve got a baby to change? Sure, go ahead,” (he was going to go ahead anyway).

It wasn’t a big wait for the next loo. But I couldn’t help but think that it was kind of rude. It felt like such a show off dad thing to do!

AIBU?

Like I said, no real stakes here, just found it mildly annoying and can’t decide if that’s petty of me!

Hmm.. I'd get why he thought it was ok to do, he needed the baby change one. But no he should have waited.

YANBU, although it’s not the rudest thing imaginable. A quick ‘sorry baby’s soiled itself, would you mind if I pop in?’ Wouldn’t have gone amiss. Bit of parent entitlement there.

Bit rude of him. But also bit rude of you to not offer for him to go in-front of you 🤷‍♀️

I did offer! (Not that he was waiting for it,) He went in front of me.

YANBU, he was selfish and entitled. I’ve never seen a mum with a baby do this!

Would you be as offended if it was the geets ma pushing in?

Yeh you're being petty a little. Especially as you said it was fine... soo...ya know.
Having s baby isn't a disability but I can promise everyone would be grateful that the baby isn't screaming the restaurant down covered in shit 🤣

@AceSpades54321 why was it rude of the op? Unless there's been a poonami a dirty nappy isn't an emergency, as in, it can wait 5 minutes . There's no obligation on anyone to immediately vacate the queue for a baby change. Might be a nice thing to do but it's not rude not too.

I would have been!

I thought the same! I have children (not babies anymore) and I would have just taken my place in the queue and waited without even thinking about it!

It does sound a bit rude, but maybe he's not used to the toilet queue etiquette when accompanied by a baby.

He should have asked if it was OK to push in.

Also - the baby wasn’t crying and there was no obvious stink. It didn’t seem like a poonami situation to me!

You offered... so how is it his fault?

He was BU. I have a baby, I wait until toilet is free to change him. It’s not an emergency. Could understand if baby was screaming, or if he had a toddler absolutely bursting for a pee, but not a content baby who just needs a nappy change.

@Wouldloveanother soiled itself

never heard a baby with a dirty nappy being referred to like that

It’s true - I did. But he wasn’t really planning on waiting for my offer. He had already walked to the top of the queue and was planning on going in first with or without my approval.

Like I said, obviously it was no big deal. But just slightly irksome.

YANBU. He should have waited in the queue unless the people in it proactively said he could go ahead, or at very least asked rather than assumed he could queue jump.

Because, what’s the point, I wasn’t desperate...

You might not have been but what about the other three people behind you in the queue? If I make a decision to do somone a good turn I don't generally expect other people to pay the price for my generosity, one of those other people may have been crossing their legs.

Good point. The others in the queue might have been desperate and you made it worse.

Why are you making a song and dance of this? Move on.

Yes that’s true!

It would have been very awkward to not let him go (since he wasn’t really glancing at me for my permission anyway) I’m very self-conscious of awkward social situations. But you’re right - the people behind me could have been desperate!

She isn't making a song and dance though is she? She's just reflecting on it after the event.

I’d have politely said to him “excuse me, maybe you aren’t aware but it’s one queue for both loos”.

I obviously did create a whole thread about it (!) but I’m not really that bothered.

I’m on a train journey right now without much to do, my mind wandered onto the toilet queue situation of yesterday, and wondered if I’d been unreasonable to find it a bit irksome. So here I am! 😀