Man with a baby pushing in toilet queue - AIBU?

[Scrappydoo668]

Yesterday I was waiting in line for the loo in a restaurant. There were two toilets, non-gendered (a man and a woman symbol on both), one had a baby change table in, the other didn’t.

I was at the front of the line, an older man behind me. Then came two more people to wait, and a man holding a baby.

The man with the baby walked to the top of the line and stood by the toilet door with the baby change inside and tried to open it. I said “oh, it’s occupied, we’re waiting,” and gestured to the growing queue.

He was perfectly nice, we all made polite eye rolling chit chat about toilet queues.

Someone came out of said toilet with the baby change facilities and the man with the baby went to walk in and glanced at me. Because, what’s the point, I wasn’t desperate I said, “you’ve got a baby to change? Sure, go ahead,” (he was going to go ahead anyway).

It wasn’t a big wait for the next loo. But I couldn’t help but think that it was kind of rude. It felt like such a show off dad thing to do!

AIBU?

Like I said, no real stakes here, just found it mildly annoying and can’t decide if that’s petty of me!

A queue is a queue for a reason. I have let a small child in front of me before as that can be pretty time sensitive but see no reason for a baby to go ahead of someone who actually needs the loo.

Either that or “sorry, I think I was ahead of you”

He should've waited like everyone else, especially as you'd pointed out there was a queue. If it had been an urgent situation he should've asked. As someone else has said you don't know how urgent the other people waiting were.

As a general rule if I let somone take my position in a queue I take theirs, so you could have let him go in your place and joined the back of the queue, it's the only way your decision doesn't have any effect on other people.

In fairness, with the number of threads on here citing privilege in all manner of queuing and waiting situations, just by virtue of having a child alongside, I'm not surprised he thought he got first dibs!
YWNBU, however.
(I was in a pretty short passport control queue last week (half full flight, Italy, we got through in about 5 minutes) and similar happened- a bit of a kerfuffle and the waves parting as a bloke with a pushchair came through going "my wife and I have a child" Though gratifyingly (if petty) their suitcases hadn't been told they deserved priority and they were still standing at the belt when we left.

The only time I'd ask to jump the queue (and I would ask) is if I had a small child who was desperate and wouldn't be able to hold on.
He should have asked the whole queue if he needed to change the baby that urgently.

Maybe I’m seeing the situation wrongly but if there was 2 toilets, 1 clearly marked with baby change and the other not, I don’t see what he did as wrong.
He needed the baby change, you don’t know if f baby had a sopping nappy etc.
If none of you had a baby that needed changing then he just did what most people do, go the toilet suited for his situation.

Exactly what I was going to say! I struggle to wait too long for the loo and I hate people ahead of me letting others push in for no reason at all.

YANBU, OP - except for offering him to go first. As the baby wasn’t dripping in unmentionable and wasn’t distressed, entitled dad should wait his turn like everyone else.

It's not okay - as the person at the front of a queue - to offer to let someone cut in. There is a whole queue of people to consider, any one of whom might have needed the toilet more. The man was selfish and entitled. And you did what people tend to do when confronted with selfish, entitled behaviour: you let him have his way.

That one had a change mat in it, and was bigger, but there was no baby change sign on the door. He’ll have known it was the one that had the space etc in it, presumably because he’s used it before, because he walked right up to it.

I clocked it had the mat etc when I saw people walking in and out as I waited in the queue (information that my brain would probably have junked if the situation hadn’t happened!).

Yes I think you’re right!

He sounds like the sort of bloke who thinks the red carpet should be rolled out for him when he's looking after his own child.

A parent only gets toilet priority if the kid is a toddler or disabled and really can't hang on, or if there's a poonami/ vomit situation.

Otherwise you get in line with everyone else. Most parents instinctively know this without it being explained to them.

He was selfish, and unreasonable

I’ve done this when newborn DC had a poo explosion. I did ask, but I was a new and anxious mum so probably didn’t give the people waiting much chance to say no.

Whaaat?! How is it rude to not offer someone to go in front of you in a queue? that's not how queues work 😂
In fact it's rude to the people behind you to take it upon yourself to let someone cut in.

I would let a parent with small child who could not wait but not this man with baby not crying. I would have swept in and said all these people are ahead of you in queue.

If the baby was clearly distressed and the guy had asked nicely - of the whole queue - that would have been ok.

Otherwise, no, get to the back you entitled twat.

Definitely sounds like he was being rude ...only situation I can see me asking to jump ahead (aside from poonami situation) would be when I got to second in q and the baby change became free I'd ask the person in front of I could use it as they could wait for the non baby change one to become free (which presumably would not be long)

Aargh I hate situations like this as I get really awkward! I hate it when people hover next to me in the queue.
He was definitely being entitled & using his dad privilege. There are some dads that just ooze this air of importance - a sort of ‘stand back, dad coming through’ kind of attitude. Very annoying.

Ambiguous toilet signage is the problem here. He probably thought the baby change toilet was for that usage only.

I do find it annoying when the baby change is inside a toilet cubicle, everyone else in the queue can just go in the next free cubicle but when you are specifically waiting on the baby change you can’t.

If I'd been behind you in that queue when you let someone else go ahead, someone with no apparent desperate need, I'd have been cursing you from here to next week. Some of us older women aren't so good at holding on any more.

Nothing ambiguous about the signage as described in the OP

I saw an interesting situation last week. I was at the Proms and at the end of the performance there was a queue for both men's and women's toilets. The men were first of all shocked that there was even a queue for their loos and secondly so many didn't know how to queue; they just kind of pushed in.

Was the baby change also the accessible loo? Maybe someone in the queue had hidden disabilities. Most disabled people aren’t in wheelchairs.