To think that you're really lucky if you enjoy exercise?!

[bumblebee1987]

I will preface this by saying that I'm really fed up because I've been dieting and exercising since March and lost a very minimal amount of weight despite really trying, and have now plateaued for weeks, so this is probably more of a vent 😆

I hate exercise. I always have, every since school, I am rubbish at it, am not remotely competitive, and I just don't enjoy it. I have tried many many different types of exercise, it's all the same, I don't enjoy any of it. I don't enjoy watching sport, hearing about sport or being involved in sport in any way.

I go to the gym 3 times a week because I feel like I have to, because I am overweight and I need to sort myself out, but I hate it. I know I need to do it, but I don't enjoy it, and I think this is really unfortunate. My DH on the other hand, LOVES sport, his entire career is based in sport, he loves nothing more than going for a 5 hour bike ride or spending an hour or two in the gym, it's his happy place. Which is great because obviously it's really good for him!

I keep seeing fitness influencers saying how important it is that you find the sport that you love so that you will keep it up, but I really don't think there is one for me?! So I think I am basically stuck with forcing myself to do something I hate a few times a week, despite hating every second of it.

So am I being unreasonable to suggest that it's actually really lucky if you enjoy sport and exercise?! I am not talking about being good at it, I appreciate that being good at it takes a huge amount of dedication and not luck etc, but if you really enjoy it regardless of whether you're good at it or not, then that's really fortunate, right?!

I appreciate that this is very much a first world problem and is meant in a light-hearted way!

@Carpy88999 - You're right, it isn't enough, but it is what I have been doing, and I am not lying or miscalculating. I have been tested for medical conditions and the results showed nothing.

My DH has been working in the sports and fitness industry his entire life, and he has spent his career believing the 'eat less, move more' mantra. He sees what I am eating on a daily basis, he knows I am not cheating, and he finds it baffling because it goes against everything he thought he knew.

I've lost a stone and a half since March doing this (with a few weeks off in the middle because we moved house), and have now plateaued and lost nothing for 3 weeks, despite still having 3 stone to lose. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Weirdly, Slimming World never works for me! I have tried it so many times, and I do the food diaries etc, but I don't lose. I usually lose a little bit in the first week, and then nothing, then I get fed up because I get accused of not logging everything or cheating, so I leave 🤣

Walk listening to a good book or podcast

YANBU, it's great to enjoy physical activity, I used to hate it as a teenager.

Are you drinking alcohol? It has hidden calories, messes with your blood sugar, and can make you have less energy for physical activity. Fruit/ veg can have lots of carbs/ sugars especially when cooked or as a smoothie.
I think 16:8 or even 14:16 or 12:12 is a great way to regulate blood sugar, also to have energy/ motivation to move.

Do you enjoy your diet? Could you do it for the rest of your life? If not, up your calories and include something you really enjoy. It sounds like you are repeating your yo-yo dieting experience.

It sounds like you have some body shame and this stops you liking exercise, e.g. the sweating. I used to be like this as a teenager. In my case just thinking of myself as a healthy person who likes physical activity helped me get there. Fake it to make it.

You say you don't like the way your body hurts after the gym. This seems to be one of these mindset ones. When I took responsibility for my fitness (as opposed to my mum/ school telling me) I started to like this as it meant there was an impact. But it is true it is "pain" and so depends on how you interpret it.

Also, I think having a DH who is very into sport can't necessarily help. I'd hate that. Men respond so much quicker to exercise in terms of fitness AND weight loss. Maybe you are secretly competitive, or feel more body shame in comparison. I think I'd hate having someone very fit next to me. It would reduce the fun I get from exercise, sadly.

Having read back through your posts I would actually say you need to increase your calories and increase your exercise.

Three sessions at the gym per week isn't really very much if that's all you're doing. I know you feel sad about your dog getting old (I get it, I walk dogs for a living and seeing them struggle is heartbreaking) but could you borrow a dog from a friend or neighbour and take them instead? Or do your potter with your old boy, then stick some headphones in and really go for it for an hour?

How many steps a day are you doing on average (especially on days where you don't go to the gym)?

Hi op. Look at Team RH on Facebook. Basically calculate how many calories you burn a week and average that out and take off 500 calories. So if you burn 2300 cals you should be at a calorie deficit of 1800 to lose weight.

Get 10k steps in and make sure you eat enough protein and fibre and also include fats. There is an ideal ratio.

As long as you’re not sedentary then it doesn’t matter what you do - walking, mowing the lawn, whatever. Some quick weights workouts are really good.

I walk and the last year have been swimming a lot and love it. I have mp3 earphones so that helps. I often go with a friend and sit in the jacuzzi afterwards for a chat.

I also love playing badminton.

I would start with short workouts that are about 15-20 mins. But be consistent.

Sorry, finding it hard to reply to everyone individually!

I do love the idea of doing something a bit more unique. I'm going to look for an adult ballet class for sure. Some of the others, while they sound great, will just feed my anxiety, it's a nightmare 🤣 Open water terrifies me, as does cycling on roads, climbing is a no because I'm scared of heights. Horse riding I used to love, but I got thrown off a horse when I was 21 and ended up in hospital and I haven't got on a horse since because I then became terrified of that too 🤣 Honestly, I'm a walking nightmare! I'm pretty restricted with what I can mentally cope with, which is very frustrating!

Trail running sounds fun so I am going to have a look into that. I might try the c25k, although probably picked the wrong time of year to start it!

I wish I could exercise with DH, he used to be a PT, so he's great for motivation and usually knows what he's talking about, but we have young kids, so usually have to tag team doing exercise so one of us can stay with them.

I think the mindset argument is key here isn't it. I need to change how I view it. Maybe I will never enjoy it, but I CAN and SHOULD do it for my overall health. I just find it really hard to disassociate it with weight loss. I like the machines that tell me how many calories I have burned, because mentally for me, that's what it's mostly about. I know that's ultimately wrong though!

I think you have hit the nail on the head with disassociating it from weight loss!

Ahhh OP I feel you I really do! Can't stand gyms. I came on to say try weight lifting but pleased to see you've got that booked for Tuesday. I LOVE it. I never thought I would but honestly it's great. And hopefully it'll shock your body out of its plateau. Good luck and let us know how Tuesday goes!

That's why you shouldn't drop your calories to an unmanageable level right from the off. You'll either have to keep going at this low level until your break through the plateau which will happen eventually, have a refeed period where you up your calories for a while then lower them again after. Or just introduce more cardio which I wouldn't recommend while only eating 1200 cals.

I find it dull - so exercise bike in front of Netflix doing it now 70 mins each morning 500 calories burned watching box sets or listening to audible

Thank you! Hoping Tuesday will be the kickstart that I need 😁

I don't care for it and the heavier I was the worse I found it. Fortunately it has only minimal impact on my ability to lose weight, which I did through diet. I do try to walk daily, but even briskly and including hills it only uses about 200 calories, which it would be much easier simply not to eat. I make myself walk for the fresh air, weight baring and cardio, and can enjoy it if ive travelled to a nice location and the weather is pleasant. But if I drop it for a while I don't see any weight gain, as I find I'm less hungry without excercise. I probably should try to build some strength in my arms but I really don't have the motivation.

I have an inflatable punch bag (which is amazing for getting rid of any stress). I also put some tunes on a dance like no-one's watching. I started doing it in lockdown 1 and have kept at it. Yes, I end up a hot sweaty mess, but I'm at home so there is nobody to stare or judge me. There are better ways IMO opinion to exercise than gyms, bikes, running and all the other stuff that most people seem to do.

I am an exercise junkie. I'm benignly addicted to exercise. I hate not working out - it makes me feel sluggish, anxious and depressed. I wasn't always this way though - I got this way over time by sticking at it whenever it would have been easier to sit on my arse (and there are always times it would be easier to sit on your arse).

I think building movement into your life is important. I love to walk, I don't drive unless I have to. I think finding something that makes you feel good or at least makes it sustainable also helps. A PT, if you can afford it, is a great way to build some structure, see a difference, and make it impossible to punk out. Six months ago I fell madly in love with weight training and it is such a fucking kick to see your body change, to see muscle emerge under the skin and grow. I would hate to stop working out and see those hard-won gains disappear. I use a Fitbit to track my RHR, Vo2 max and you can use a body comp scale to track muscle and body fat percentages; a lot of people find it really motivational to see what you're gaining, especially since as PP is observed you seem kind of stuck in a mindset of punishing your body and yourself and a weight loss focus. What if you were pursuing a positive goal - that even if you didn't lose an ounce, your heart was stronger, your lungs worked better, a bit more of you was muscle than you used to be, and you have achieved a goal you set yourself?

Am I happy every single minute when I'm straining, gasping, sweating, bright red in the face? Nerp. But I know that I will regret quitting, and I'll never regret sticking with it, and if you can stick with it for long enough something magical happens.

I only like exercise when I'm already fit. It's a boring hard slog to get fit but once I am fit enough I enjoy it. I then do more active things for fun like a 4hr bike ride or climbing up something like pen y fan. I love walks like pen y fan but only when I'm fit so it's not an effort.

I haven't had alcohol since I was at University, which is longer ago than I care to remember 🤣 I haven't touched it since. I don't do anything with fruit other than eat it as it comes, and I try not to eat much because I'm a sucker for grapes and berries so if I don't restrict my intake then before I know it, I've eaten an entire punnet 🤣

I definitely don't enjoy my diet, but I have a weird relationship with food. It's either all or nothing, if that makes sense? I find it really hard to eat in moderation. It's easier for me to stick to really low calories and cut entire foods out, than it is to eat sensibly. So for example, if I eat a biscuit, then I can't stop myself eating half the pack, so it's easier for me to just stop those foods entirely. And I get immense food guilt if I eat outside of what my brain considers safe foods. I know that sounds weird!

I definitely have body shame, I hate how I look, and I hate that I let myself get like this!

Haha, having a fit DH definitely doesn't help 🤣 Although he is lovely and does not care one single bit what I look like or how much exercise I do etc. He doesn't expect me to share his passion! He would love it if I got into cycling and often gently says it would be nice to go for family bike rides, but in reality he knows this can't happen because I can't cycle on roads. (Well, physically I can, but mentally I can't!)

Ps. I really love boxing. I'm tiny and I get a never-ending kick out of being massively underestimated by men who then have to revise their preconceptions right quick when I land a punch on them. There are so many options for exercise and different things to enjoy. And nothing gets your heart rate up like knowing someone will hit you if you don't move your feet!

I also know that exercise has a hugely beneficial effect on mental health, way more than most people think, and that helps me to make sure I get out there.

@bumblebee1987 I know you mentioned that your thyroid was checked though there has to be some medical reasons for this.
My Dsis has hashimoto's disorder and thyroid issues.
She is on a strict diet and has consistently lost 1 lbs per week since she started.
I think she is aiming for 1500 calories daily, no gym, brisk walking.
Go back to the gp or book a session with a nutritionist if you can afford it.

I think you need to increase your fibre, it doesn’t seem that much. There is also still quite a lot of processed food, which has links to weight gain (even when calories are adhered to). Have a look at some stuff about ultra processed food (upf). The doctor twins from CBBC have done a podcast on it.

And please don’t go near Team RH, he’s toxic. Look at the ongoing thread on Tattle first.

Rebelfit has a good attitude to exercise and weight loss within a health context.

"The doctor twins from CBBC have done a podcast on it."

The doctor twins show how unhealthy UPF is, but I don't remember them saying you'd put weight on even with a low-calorie intake of processed food, it was more about how unhealthy it is. The one who did the experiment put weight on, but he was also eating a lot of calories.

I think you're really lucky to be able to exercise and if I could I wouldn't be complaining 🤷‍♀️

I only eat UPF for lunch when I'm working sometimes because it's easy to track the calories and easy to grab when I'm busy and been disorganised! Invariably I make a salad or something to take.

I know it's a vent thread but a few things have stood out to me....

I keep seeing fitness influencers saying how important it is that you find the sport that you love

Which "fitness influencers" are you talking about? How many are you following? Do you think they are helping you in forming a positive view of yourself in relation to exercise? Do you think they are helping you develop a realistic view of what it means to enjoy exercise? Maybe consider ditching them, if not.

Is it really true enjoyment though if you have to fight that hard for it and it doesn't come naturally at all?

Yes, of course. Many things in life worth having take a huge amount of work to get to enjoy. Do you enjoy every single second with your kids? Every single second of your job?

I just wish so much that I was the sort of person who enjoyed it!
Back to mindset, I think you've cast several roles for yourself which make it difficult then for you to move forward. "I'm just not the sort of person who...." "I can't...." These are all presented as inevitabilities which then logically rule out quite a number of solutions. But I think part of your work on yourself needs to be on this. I don't think these are all inevitabilities, I think they are narratives you've built for yourself as a defence mechanism which you should challenge. Are you getting any help for your anxiety?

I feel really stupid and self conscious, like everything jiggles and people must be staring at me?
I sweat a lot which is embarrassing and gross, and I don't enjoy the aching and pain the next day.
This is really sad. Your body is amazing. Bodies jiggle. Bodies sweat. I bet they don't on Instagram though!
The pain the next day is great, it means you did something good! With weight training you will really really notice that so do try to understand what the pain means - ask your instructor why it hurts the next day - if it doesn't hurt you probably didn't work hard, so try to reframe the pain as positive feedback!

Really really hope you can get back to walking, find a ballet class and enjoy weights, then see you posting back here in 6 months saying, I thought I was "the sort of person" who disliked all exercise, turns out I was wrong!