Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Penis on neighbours wall- WWYD

120 replies

Pinksqr · 03/09/2022 17:35

I live in what is known in my town as quite a “posh area”, it’s kind of a large cul de sac. Really not trying to sound snotty but just want to give a background on the area so it makes sense how odd this is.

About 8 months ago one of my neighbours had his house “graffitied” with a very very large penis on the front of it. We were all mortified but the neighbour just laughed it off. We presumed he would just contact the police and get it covered up and that would be the end of it.

For the first few weeks we kept bringing it up to said neighbour about when he was going to get it covered up, and a host of excuses was said which at the time sounded believable. Think along the lines of “police want to come check it out to gather evidence etc” “decorator was due to come today but was sick.

Fast forward 8 months and it is STILL there, the neighbours have all offered to pay for it, keep nagging for it gone. I absolutely hate it, every-time I drive home from work it’s the first thing you can see. It makes the whole street look so run down. One neighbour has had their house for sale and every viewer has mentioned it. Im so embarrassed when friends and family come over and it’s what they see.

basically if he’s refusing to get it covered up removed where do we go from here? Has anyone experienced similar. I know it’s such a first world problem but coming out of my house and seeing a huge penis is just horrible. Also I know it’s his property but it’s not exactly a butterfly surely there would be rules protecting against this if it’s an inappropriate item.

OP posts:
DrawingdowntheMoon · 03/09/2022 20:08

I can understand your angst OP, in a posh area it probably sticks out a mile.

5128gap · 03/09/2022 20:10

Start a petition?
Dear Neighbour,
We the undersigned wish to object to your penis, which we feel is distracting to people trying to view our cul de sac...

Spanielsarepainless · 03/09/2022 20:10

A building I worked in had this. And yes, offensive graffiti has to be covered up or removed at the building owner's expense. Surprised the police didn't tell him.

surreygirl1987 · 03/09/2022 20:10

I'm amazed so many mumsnet posters don't think this is unreasonable!

CopperLily · 03/09/2022 20:13

Remindse of this....

YesitsBess · 03/09/2022 20:13

Add boogly eyes and a woolly hat, surely?

Option on pipe.

CopperLily · 03/09/2022 20:13

*reminds me

IcakethereforeIam · 03/09/2022 20:14

Is is above a flowerbed? Perhaps it could be hidden behind a big Bush.

It might disappear when the weather turns cold.

Diamondsareforever123 · 03/09/2022 20:14

Seriously if it's causing such a problem - and I can understand why it's offensive - can't you all get together (with the neighbor) in the area and scrub it off the wall? TBH it would cheese me off... not the posh thing... it's just tacky anywhere...

DrawingdowntheMoon · 03/09/2022 20:19

Could be worse OP, it could be this big - www.thesun.co.uk/news/11655152/cops-find-penis-shape-field-west-cornwall/

5128gap · 03/09/2022 20:21

It reminds me of our very well to do elderly neighbour once saying to my DP 'Goodness me, someone appears to have drawn a penis in the dirt on your van. It wasn't you was It young man?'😂

DrawingdowntheMoon · 03/09/2022 20:26

Maybe your neighbour has one of these and is continuing the theme?

www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/estate-agents-red-faced-people-26459884

oakleaffy · 03/09/2022 20:28

There was a group of new age travellers who had a “ Weather cock penis weather vane on their vehicle
The neighbours who overlooked it detested it.

The New Agers did it on purpose.
It was mentioned as “ Offensive weather vane” ( Vein?)
It DID. have wings and bollocks.

EmmaH2022 · 03/09/2022 20:28

He totally did this himself.

neverbeenskiing · 03/09/2022 20:30

5128gap · 03/09/2022 20:10

Start a petition?
Dear Neighbour,
We the undersigned wish to object to your penis, which we feel is distracting to people trying to view our cul de sac...

Furthermore, we are concerned that your penis is going to have an effect on house prices.
We have taken legal advice from Mumsnet and are somewhat reliably informed that your penis could constitute a criminal offence! If you do not cover the aforementioned offending appendage forthwith we will be forced to report your penis to the council.

Katsufatsu · 03/09/2022 20:30

I'm not sure why you haven't just painted over it yourself at night

oakleaffy · 03/09/2022 20:31

Diamondsareforever123 · 03/09/2022 20:14

Seriously if it's causing such a problem - and I can understand why it's offensive - can't you all get together (with the neighbor) in the area and scrub it off the wall? TBH it would cheese me off... not the posh thing... it's just tacky anywhere...

“Cheese” in relation to the penis is quite revolting!
@Pinksqr
Can you paint a condom over it? ( Using a wash of white emulsion?)

5128gap · 03/09/2022 20:31

neverbeenskiing · 03/09/2022 20:30

Furthermore, we are concerned that your penis is going to have an effect on house prices.
We have taken legal advice from Mumsnet and are somewhat reliably informed that your penis could constitute a criminal offence! If you do not cover the aforementioned offending appendage forthwith we will be forced to report your penis to the council.

🤣

oakleaffy · 03/09/2022 20:32

Cul de Ballsack?

Peashoots · 03/09/2022 20:35

Contact the police 😂 oh OP this gave me a laugh. What are the police going to do?!
sneak over and scrub it off when he’s out.

CheapBeersFilledwithCrocodileTears · 03/09/2022 20:39

oakleaffy · 03/09/2022 20:32

Cul de Ballsack?

@oakleaffy Thread winner

winewolfhowls · 03/09/2022 20:43

Your neighbour 100% drew the nob himself and is enjoying the effect.

Don't protest too much or it might grow massive hairy balls.

moita · 03/09/2022 20:44

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 03/09/2022 19:17

Am I the only one who thought the title meant an amputated penis lying on the top of a wall? Blush My mind boggled.

Same or a dildo.

winewolfhowls · 03/09/2022 20:45

I think we need a diagram

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 03/09/2022 20:45

During a snowy spell, a few days running on his way to work, dh drove past a massive snow-willy - complete with snow-balls - on a roundabout.

I was seriously miffed that he never got a photo of it - nowhere to stop on a busy road in the rush hour - before it succumbed to terminal erectile dysfunction because of the thaw. 🙁