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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Before first date? ❤️

56 replies

Datingadviceplease · 03/09/2022 15:41

Dating advice please

I matched with a guy online last week
I am a doctor and he is a nurse - both 30s
We spoke a bit Wednesday and Thursday with date arranged Sunday
His chat was nice and he was trying to be flirty

He has not messaged me since - is that OK? I guess he probably assumes as date arranged no point in endless ‘checking in’. I am very sceptical about OLD given the horror stories on here and with friends.

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 03/09/2022 15:43

Nothing to worry about. Have you arranged meeting place and time?

Original poster
Datingadviceplease · 03/09/2022 15:52

Whataretheodds · 03/09/2022 15:43

Nothing to worry about. Have you arranged meeting place and time?

Yes its just a wine bar at the end of our street ❤️
We stay across the road from each other - spooky 👻

OP posts:
yellowsmileyface · 03/09/2022 16:05

Some people (I'm one of them) don't like to chat much once a date has been arranged so as to save the conversation for in person.

I wouldn't worry about it!

raindon · 03/09/2022 16:07

Don't worry about it. Enjoy your date.

MrsMontyD · 03/09/2022 18:17

Definitely ok for things to cool off once a date is arranged, better than things hotting up before the date and then it being awkward when you meet if there's no attraction.

Original poster
Datingadviceplease · 03/09/2022 18:24

MrsMontyD · 03/09/2022 18:17

Definitely ok for things to cool off once a date is arranged, better than things hotting up before the date and then it being awkward when you meet if there's no attraction.

Better than love bombing also I guess 😍

OP posts:
PrepayMeter · 03/09/2022 18:28

Seems fine to me. It’ll give you more to talk about on the date.

Lcb123 · 03/09/2022 18:59

Seems fine, you know you’ll have the date to chat more!

Sunnyqueen · 03/09/2022 19:30

I don't see the problem. Maybe if you've not heard from him an hour or so before the date time you could drop him a line of just checking we're still on for later?

Original poster
Datingadviceplease · 04/09/2022 09:28

We have place but not time confirmed. Should I message to see the time? Or should he be courting me? Have not heard from hime since Thursday when he went on night shift.

OP posts:
AuntieDolly · 04/09/2022 09:58

Why not just text: are we still ok for tonight? What time?

Original poster
Datingadviceplease · 04/09/2022 10:06

AuntieDolly · 04/09/2022 09:58

Why not just text: are we still ok for tonight? What time?

Have messaged him what time for tonight at the wine bar x

OP posts:
mycatisannoying · 04/09/2022 10:28

Hope you hear back, OP! I'm sure it'll be fine and have fun! Keep us posted.

Original poster
Datingadviceplease · 04/09/2022 19:06

He replied to me at about 1 to say he was too hungover and could not do wine bar
Would I be up for rescheduling or a walk instead?

I voicenoted back at about four how about video date if you are feeling so rough instead? Let me know what you think?

No reply 🥺

OP posts:
ShinyMe · 04/09/2022 19:49

Urgh, I'd be moving on from that one personally.

LittleMG · 04/09/2022 19:53

I would like to hear from him once more just to keep things up. I left it like this on my first ever online date and got stood up. I then thought all old’s stand you up but they don’t in my exp but I did marry the second guy that turned up! 😂

Original poster
Datingadviceplease · 04/09/2022 19:54

I am not sure what to do really?
Whether to unmatch or what?

OP posts:
passionfruitpariah · 04/09/2022 19:57

Unmatch. How disrespectful

PollyPeePants · 04/09/2022 19:59

Unmatch definitely. He's a prick.

WildFlowerBees · 04/09/2022 20:00

Bin him. Someone who's genuinely interested will make time for you. This isn't a good start.

FinallyHere · 04/09/2022 20:01

A first date is a microcosm of what life together might be like. Anyone who parties too hard the previous day, to be up for a pre-arranged date would not in my book be a promising prospect.

Best give this one a swerve.

If he is really keen, he will think of something to impress you. Mostly likely he won't.

Sorry but better to know up front.

liveforsummer · 04/09/2022 20:01

I'm going against the grain and the sudden silence probably suggests he's an all chat and no meet type. Old sites are awash with them. Better they do it now than ghost after a couple of dates though.

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 04/09/2022 20:02

No message+no show is not a good sign. I would have appreciated him making more effort to not be hungover for a date

MrsTimRiggins · 04/09/2022 20:08

Ugh, unmatch. How rude and, honestly, indicative of what a relationship may be like with him 🙄

girlmom21 · 04/09/2022 20:09

He couldn't make your first date because he was hungover? Definitely ditch.