Ex and girlfriend drinking while they have the children

79 replies

Kayos10 · 03/09/2022 15:05

I picked my children up from their dads this morning. I asked to grab a drink of water to take a tablet quickly before I left and my ex looked shifty and said the kitchens a dump. Went in to find what looked like a party had taken place. I said to his girlfriend blimey did you have a party last night? She said no so I asked is all this just yours and (ex' name) empties? She laughs and said it's been a long week. I counted at least 3 empty wine bottles and around 10 empty cider and beer cans. My ex has always been a heavy drinker and this was one of the reasons we split. But am aibu to be pissed off that they're clearly getting rat arsed while they have the children? I have noticed it and mentioned it before but to see the aftermath this morning is really bothering me.

OP posts:

KnickerlessParsons · 03/09/2022 17:21

Have you never been drunk whilst you've had the children OP?

Original poster

Kayos10 · 03/09/2022 17:24

KnickerlessParsons · 03/09/2022 17:21

Have you never been drunk whilst you've had the children OP?

Not whilst solely responsible for my children no.

OP posts:

giveovernate · 03/09/2022 17:30

Kayos10 · 03/09/2022 15:52

I'm not expecting the girlfriend to be responsible for my children at all, I had hoped she would be sensible enough to maybe influence my ex. She can do as she pleases so long as it doesn't affect my children. I mistyped in my previous post, they have been every weekend in the holidays but normally it's ever other weekend. I don't think he is drinking like this every single weekend he has them, but most of them yes. He could always hold his drink but then I was always there too if he went to far. I've been giving him the benefit of the doubt up until now and the one time I mentioned it before was when my son was in his care for the weekend but had a sleepover at beavers. My son wanted to come home but my ex couldn't pick him up because he'd been drinking so had to call me. I called him out on it, we had a row and I'd hoped he'd maybe cut back since then.

You weren't sensible to influence your ex, why should she be?

Ithinkthatisenoughnowthanks · 03/09/2022 17:45

I have been single for 14 years now. I didn't drink at home until the eldest was old enough to know.our address and able to call an ambulance in the event of an unforseen emergency. I still don't really drink at home becauae in the meantime one of my children was diagnosed with type 1 and it really does need someone to be 'with it' 24/7. I think nothing of going out and drinking but only since my eldest turned 18 and he is around and not drinking in case of issues with the youngest. I wouldn't think to complain that my ex drinks unless the children indicated it was somehow a problem for them. It is clear from what they have said, he too is more careful because of the youngest's condition.

YABU unless the children were clearly uncared for and/or one of them has a condition that needs constant monitoring.

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