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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband not talking to me over a toilet seat change

83 replies

Mimiandme · 02/09/2022 17:07

This post is a bit of a daft one…. I’m just curious to hear other peoples opinions. We have 3 year old who has been toilet / potty training for the last few months. We were using the removable put on and off toilet toddler plastic inserts. It was just a faff putting it on and off, storing it, my toddler trying to put her hands all over it.. but also it was bright green which is fine but it just didn’t go with the downstairs loo😅. I bought this 3 in 1 family loo seat, I think it’s genius.. it’s neat, tidy and I think it’s great. My husband is in an awful mood about it because he thinks it looks out of place, doesn’t look like it fits properly and thinks it’s awful. I said get over it, it’s a toilet seat but he’s taking it really seriously, I don’t listen to him etc, I’ve ruined the toilet. Am I seeing something else? Does it look awful ?!😂

Husband not talking to me over a toilet seat change
OP posts:
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 02/09/2022 17:10

Yeah, I doesn’t fit.

However, it’s a weird thing to get upset over.

Mamette · 02/09/2022 17:12

I think it looks fine and it won’t be forever.

Is he one of these that likes to sit on the toilet for 20+ minutes?

<eyes DH>

Maybe you’ve messed with his happy place?

Tollystar · 02/09/2022 17:14

That's exactly the sort of thing DH and I argue about! TBH, I could be on either side of the argument on any given day - the perpetrator or the offended!

It doesn't quite fit the shape of your loo and it's pretty ugly, and not ideal for guests and possibly over-engineered, since you already have a solution. But it's only temporary until your DC is toilet trained, and is more hygienic than one that gets lifted in and out, left on floor etc.

So not sure where my allegiances lie! Might depend on the cost?

ShinyMe · 02/09/2022 17:15

I think it looks really uncomfortable, but presumably it's a short term thing, and he's the one acting like an idiot if he's actually not talking to you because of it.

BorgQueen · 02/09/2022 17:16

Hand him the grip he so desperately needs 🙄 Of all the stupid things to get worked up over.
It’s a fucking loo seat, as long as it’s functional and easy to clean, what does it matter?
Tell him he needs it because he’s being more of a child than your toddler.

MaggieFS · 02/09/2022 17:17

Oh. Yes, that's not great. I've seen some really decent fully integrated ones and that's what I expected to see in the picture. But that!

So on the basis you are worried enough about what goes with the downstairs loo to change it and have an argument but then come up with that as the solution, YABU Smile

GreenManalishi · 02/09/2022 17:17

This is less to do with the toilet seat and more to do with him looking for something to be in a huff about. You haven't done it for fun, or to spite him, it's to help your three year old!

LionessesRules · 02/09/2022 17:18

It doesn't really fit, but the 3-1 seats are brilliant, and our kids used the insert til they were about 6, so it got plenty of use.

FusionChefGeoff · 02/09/2022 17:19

ShinyMe · 02/09/2022 17:15

I think it looks really uncomfortable, but presumably it's a short term thing, and he's the one acting like an idiot if he's actually not talking to you because of it.

The small seat lifts up for adults to use the normal seat underneath Smile

Snugglemonkey · 02/09/2022 17:22

He is BU, they are so great for children. We have one on every toilet.

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 02/09/2022 17:23

@Mimiandme As a concept they're brilliant, but you've chosen the wrong shaped toilet seat for your toilet, so DH is right, it doesn't fit & i'd be annoyed you hadn't bought the right one, but not that you'd bought one.

Snugglemonkey · 02/09/2022 17:23

Tollystar · 02/09/2022 17:14

That's exactly the sort of thing DH and I argue about! TBH, I could be on either side of the argument on any given day - the perpetrator or the offended!

It doesn't quite fit the shape of your loo and it's pretty ugly, and not ideal for guests and possibly over-engineered, since you already have a solution. But it's only temporary until your DC is toilet trained, and is more hygienic than one that gets lifted in and out, left on floor etc.

So not sure where my allegiances lie! Might depend on the cost?

They lift up out of the way and an ordinary toilet seat is below. There is no hassle whatsoever for guests or anyone else.

HelpMeGetThrough · 02/09/2022 17:25

It's a toilet seat, it does a job, it looks fine to me.

To have a cob on over this is bloody stupid.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 02/09/2022 17:26

Looks fine to me

Fairylightsongs · 02/09/2022 17:26

I can see his point, there is a lot of rim visible as it’s the wrong seat for the loo but I’d not get a cob on about it

CavernousScream · 02/09/2022 17:26

It’s the wrong shape for the toilet so does look a bit rubbish. But weird to get that cross about it.

Soontobe60 · 02/09/2022 17:27

It’s awful! Also, in my experience the seat always needs cleaning after a toddler has used it, so you may as well stick with a removable seat that can easily be rinsed.

Jellybean23 · 02/09/2022 17:31

It's only temporary. You call refit the old one in a couple of years. But I would have soldiered on with the one you already had if the toddler was ok using it. You should have consulted DH first, it was rather high handed.

DillDanding · 02/09/2022 17:31

Yes it looks awful, but it’s not going to be like that forever.

You have a much bigger problem here in that your partner’s response to a disagreement is to not speak to you. Is this normal behaviour?

twoandcooplease · 02/09/2022 17:31

Great idea! I'm on board with you

mrsm43s · 02/09/2022 17:34

3 in 1 are a great idea, but why on earth didn't you buy one that fits your loo?

I'd have no problem with my DH fitting a different toilet seat, but I'd be frustrated by him not taking care to check the measurements and buy and fit the correct one! It's very slapdash/half a job.

Gemswaitingfoottap · 02/09/2022 17:34

3 in 1 seats are brilliant for young children. We had one although it was a much better fit for the toilet than that. The seat should cover the porcelain. Most people I visited who had young children had one of those in their downstairs loo too. Your Dh is being ridiculous, it is for his child. It is the same as having a high chair at the dining table.

Can your husband just use a different toilet in the house so he doesn't have to see this one?

Gemswaitingfoottap · 02/09/2022 17:35

The not talking to you is ridiculous, is he 7?

JuneOsborne · 02/09/2022 17:37

3 in 1 seats are fab. But dude, that's the wrong shape for your loo!

ProfYaffle · 02/09/2022 17:37

Oh fgs, it's fine! We had exactly the same thing, the original toilet seat went back on once smallest dc was past that stage. Much easier than trying to store a removeable one.

(btw, we also had a folding toilet seat for when we were out and about and a potette in the car boot for emergencies - all worked really well)