Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be accidentally pregnant at 41 by my hot but totally unreliable 53 yo boyfriend

86 replies

Ridiculouswoman · 02/09/2022 16:03

Yes, i know the answer is yes.

Really thought I was too old for this to happen.

No idea what to do so just living in denial for a bit.

Adulthood is a myth (in my house anyway).

OP posts:
HintofVintagePink · 03/09/2022 08:45

School back next week

SaySomethingMan · 03/09/2022 08:46

Congratulations, OP! Hope you’re on here gushing about your baby in a year.

FWIW, you can keep contact with other mothers to an absolute minimum. That’s what I did/do.

GoodVibesHere · 03/09/2022 08:47

OP you sound like you think you're too cool to be a mum, and that you'd be soooo different to all the other mums. There are plenty of people having a child at 41, get over yourself and get on with it ffs!

georgarina · 03/09/2022 08:56

adamanti · 03/09/2022 04:29

What a vile bunch of people. Smug, judgy, nasty and hateful. OP sounds like a normal person. So sorry for her to gave accidently wandered into a room of woman haters. Christ I can't believe what I have just read

Welcome to AIBU lol! Just so fucking unnecessarily rude

Fivemoreminutesinbed · 03/09/2022 08:56

rainbowmilk · 02/09/2022 17:17

Threads like this make me want to scream (childless not by choice) but it’s my own fault for clicking on them.

Good luck with your decision and get some blooming birth control.

I suspect it is a joke. Not very nice for those experiencing infertility (have been there).

Theluggage15 · 03/09/2022 09:24

‘Adulthood is a myth, in my house anyway’. What does that even mean? You’re 41, are you usually this immature?

Boxowine · 03/09/2022 20:41

Why can't she be flippant though? Humor is a great coping mechanism in times of stress.

Hankunamatata · 03/09/2022 20:51

Don't most things in life force you into contact with people you wouldn't necessarily have stuff in common with - jobs, hobbies, friends of friends

squeakstick · 03/09/2022 22:50

My goodness some people are mean. It seems that people feel they can use the anonymity to be nasty. Just ignore the horrible messages and don't take it personally. Not everyone is like that and you can choose which mums you spend time with in real life. It's like anything (kids or no kids) you gravitate to people you like and same with motherhood.

I was happy childless and didn't want to be a mum. Got pregnant by accident with my husband) and love my child more than anything. Best thing to ever happen to me and so glad it did. In fact we now want more. It is hard (lack of sleep, the crying etc) but it is soo worth it seeing them grow, develop, laugh. It's honestly magical (and I hated kids!!) Although my husband is the best and I am quite selfish so he does A LOT (nappies, nights, food for everyone, cleaning, makes sure I have time to exercise, get ready properly etc etc) and I don't know how I would do it alone but that's just me!!!

41 isn't too old to have a child, but also it might be your last chance and you need to decide if you terminate if you're OK with that and can live without regret.

If you really don't want kids and you know that, then terminate. But it sounds like you're questioning it. It is a big sacrifice. I didn't want them as I knew all the negatives... no relaxing lay ins, be tired all the time, not be able to go out when I want, not be able to do far flung adventurous holidays, have to give birth, the changes to your body etc etc but what I didn't account for was the unconditional love and adoration I would feel that makes everything worthwhile. I have embraced the fact it's just a different life experience and joyful in different ways to being childless / carefree.

Good luck whatever you decide!

Boxowine · 04/09/2022 04:47

Just want to point out that Hugh Jackman is 53, so.

LaundryBin · 04/09/2022 08:26

motherhood forces you into contact with people you would otherwise never encounter, simply because of that one shared trait.

It really doesn’t have to- most of that stuff is strictly optional. You don’t have to go to baby groups or make friends with mums at the school gate (although of course you might want to, because mums are just a group of people, some of whom you’ll get on with and some you won’t).

Good luck with whatever you decide. Please don’t let the snarky answers on here affect you either way. Some people are just arseholes; don’t let them have any influence over such an important and personal decision.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread