Colleague taking the piss….

[Laughingteacakes]

I work in a team alongside a colleague, we do the same job, we are on a small team in a public services workplace - don’t want to be too outing. We are able to work from home but also have an office base and we do work in the community, around the area of our office base.
This colleague has small children, she doesn’t have childcare in place consistently, she seems to be working her job around her childcare needs rather than pay for the right amount of childcare (money isn’t an issue, think expensive car, large house etc). She also travels from home to work in her work time so that she can be at home at the times she needs for her childcare, without making up the 1.5ish hours this takes her each day. The rest of the team are working really hard, extra hours, lots of stress about getting through the workload, she is breezing along with a much lighter workload and therefore managing to continue to be at home whenever she needs to for her children. It is driving me crazy, I am so pissed off that the rest of the team including myself are working so hard and she is taking the absolute piss. I know different people have different work ethics but I feel this is really out of order. It’s also causing lots of negativity in the team with people feeling so cross.
This has been going on about a year, but is getting worse. I need advice, how would you deal with this, our manager doesn’t seem to be interested as the teams work is getting done.
YABU - you should just get on with it and not get involved.
YANBU - this is a piss take and you should do something to try and get the workload more even. Thanks for any views…I’m that worked up about it I can’t think straight….😊

There is definitely 2 sides to every story isn't there. I worked with a woman who would probably describe many other colleagues (if not all, to be honest!) as sub par/incompetent/lazy. The reality is she was a narcissistic control freak who frequently martyred herself to the point where it became some kind of parody of more standard work place martyrs, and despite her grandiose ideas, was not very good at the role she had in the first place and was never promoted.

It could well be that OP's colleague is taking the piss. On the one hand I do agree that normally flexible working arrangements are shared to the team in order to avoid confusion and to create awareness of when people will and won't be available. On the other hand in addition to advertised flexible hours (as in, in the person's work email signature), I also work with a manager who does the afternoon school run and this is just built into their working arrangement, it's not advertised and you would need to know her personally to be aware of that. We've only spoken about it because we both have children.

And then, it could be that the OP has a very traditional/presenteeism approach to work and is ruffled that there is someone who is getting on with the job and that in fact, rather than this working mum underworking, she is simply performing a reasonable amount of work while the OP and her colleagues have gotten into a situation of doing an unreasonable amount of work. I did that when I started my first office job - took on far too much work that the other, older members of the team were happy to let me crack on with.

So really, whether you agree with OP or not, the OP clearly needs to raise with her manager that she feels her work load isn't manageable and leave it at that. I don't think it ever looks good, really, to try and pin something on someone else. Especially when you don't have all the facts. You can insist you do have all the facts but it's actually quite rare to be certain of everyone's private working arrangements. And as said, it shouldn't really be the way you go about addressing this either.

I will shout out for working mums of young children though. Those pre school years can be really difficult to navigate and I don't think as a society we value the concept of parents taking care of their own children. I'm extremely lucky to have worked in very flexible and accommodating office jobs and now WFH while raising my young DC. Even with a SAHP is had been hard work juggling young DC and work. My heart goes out to women who are attempting to be working mothers; there are so many opportunities to tear them down. Most people only have pre school age children for a limited number of years; I think in general people need to be a bit more sympathetic.

Laughingteacakes completely agree with you. Tiredmamma05 I think you have missed the point with this post. Having children and working is a lifestyle choice. Work life balance acceptance is usually by what the businesses can accommodate not by people choosing what is right for them and the business to fit it!!! In this instance this employee obviously feels that her work life balance far exceeds the needs of the business, her team colleagues and their work life balance. On having children my husband and I accepted the fact that my childcare would outweigh the salary until they were old enough to have free nursery hours! A lot of WFH during and post Covid does not prove to be as effective as it is being portrayed in recent Surveys regarding contact availability and work output. In relation to some, aspects of work being available working from 5-7 may get work done but if standard work times for everyone else is 9-5 it makes life very difficult on a waiting game for feedback if required.

Martyrs like you piss me right off, I work flexibly, do the school runs and still deliver better outputs than some of my colleagues who martyr themselves with presenteeism (all working from home). My manager is very happy with my outputs and work schedule so I'd be really pissed off if my colleagues took issue with my diary / perceived hours worked. Focus on your own job and if you are being overwhelmed because she's not doing enough then you raise it with your manager ffs not slag your colleague off to anyone who will listen.

I work in the public sector and I am granted flex time to do the school run and other necessities. As long as the hours are worked back before our quarterly review our manager is absolutely okay with this. We do have to have our time approved by our manager we can’t just take off when we like. As previous posters have mentioned. It could be a personal agreement between your manager and your colleague. OP, may I ask, do you have children?

MrsDarcy1989x The public sector is there to serve society as I understand it. Is this flex time why when people in society try and ring departments in the public sector they can never get a response 🤔. Cocunuthead Presenteeism in my mind is where you are physically on site and not on teams. I guess this whole new way of working remotely will enter a new phase where IT will offer a way of monitoring keystrokes and activity. For all those people that are providing happy outputs there are generally a number of people who are not. In this society too many businesses will not bring people into line as society and its determinations about what people are being makes them fear the consequences.

Many people now are quitting quietly. Maybe looking into this practice and do similar

I work in local government, there to serve the county. Its in the job description. I speak to the residents of the county and deal with their issues. The phone lines are open 8-4:30. I work those hours (sometimes before and after too). These of flexi working hours are taking the piss.

working evening, Saturday and Sunday. Avoid calls, school runs, coffee with friends at 10am (yes this is true. Called one person in a department and she asked if i could call her back as she was off to a cafe), haircuts, tesco delivery.

its getting ridiculous taken advantage of. At the end of the day, you applied for a job in the office, its where you should be. Childcare etc is not your employers responsibility.

Mrs Thomas this... you have described exactly what is wrong with our society and customer service. Wow Flexi timers in Government departments where they are there to serve people in the country. Hats off to you. I feel your pain. I agree with everything you say. Flexi timers/WFHers are easy to catch out. Telling signs they never on first call from you answer teams calls. They never answer mobiles. Background noise is generally a give away. They can't answer questions that you pose to them. They always have an excuse on why work is not completed. They are also generally under the assumption that they are performing better than their office based colleagues 🤔🤣😂🤣

I think you missed the other part of my post, where I said we have to work back the flex time within our opening hours? I should also mention I am a single parent after losing my husband last year and have two young school/nursery going children. So whilst I empathise with you being unable to reach someone whenever you require, my children do need someone to take and collect them from school. I may serve the public, and I do to the best of my ability, but I serve my family first. As I’m sure you do too. Without flexible working hours I would likely be on benefits. Which I’m sure you would also have something to say about.

We all know people like this. People say you don’t have to do extra work but in a team if someone’s not pulling their weight then it always falls to colleagues to pick up the slack. Her manager should absolutely be addressing it, and if they aren’t, their manager needs to address why the manager is not tackling staff who are taking the P. It causes resentment and isn’t fair.

MrsDarcy1989x I missed that part as your post that I read stated that you have to work hours back before your quarterly review? I am sorry for your loss and I hope that you have like me extended family around you to help and support your situation. In your position being widowed with two young children to support I am unsure why you would think I would comment on if you chose not to work and lean on benefit support? People in your situation should be offered flexible working if the nature of the organisation and its requirements can support them, without affecting what needs to be actioned. Unfortunately what this OP is talking about is not someone that needs this support do you have confused the original post with your personal circumstances. Two different things.

Yanbu and it's not fair. Most of us have to take our dc to breakfast club or nursery to be able to arrive at work on time. If wfh and look after them at the same time, that's ridiculous and unprofessional, without even considering the lack of attention needed to the children. X

Hopefully after 18months it has been sorted @Jeannie88 😂

ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE

Sorry was this for me as I have no idea as to the meaning of your response?

Ah yes sorry, I see! Didn't realise the date and didn't understand the zombie reference until I googled it lol 😆 xx

I'd bring this up with your LM but only to the extent this affects YOU. So if you feel you are under pressure and your workload is too much, you tell your LM. If you are having to do extra hours, tell your LM you are no longer able to do your job in your allotted hours.
It's up to him to sort out his team.