Colleague taking the piss….

[Laughingteacakes]

I work in a team alongside a colleague, we do the same job, we are on a small team in a public services workplace - don’t want to be too outing. We are able to work from home but also have an office base and we do work in the community, around the area of our office base.
This colleague has small children, she doesn’t have childcare in place consistently, she seems to be working her job around her childcare needs rather than pay for the right amount of childcare (money isn’t an issue, think expensive car, large house etc). She also travels from home to work in her work time so that she can be at home at the times she needs for her childcare, without making up the 1.5ish hours this takes her each day. The rest of the team are working really hard, extra hours, lots of stress about getting through the workload, she is breezing along with a much lighter workload and therefore managing to continue to be at home whenever she needs to for her children. It is driving me crazy, I am so pissed off that the rest of the team including myself are working so hard and she is taking the absolute piss. I know different people have different work ethics but I feel this is really out of order. It’s also causing lots of negativity in the team with people feeling so cross.
This has been going on about a year, but is getting worse. I need advice, how would you deal with this, our manager doesn’t seem to be interested as the teams work is getting done.
YABU - you should just get on with it and not get involved.
YANBU - this is a piss take and you should do something to try and get the workload more even. Thanks for any views…I’m that worked up about it I can’t think straight….😊

How do you know in the situation that you don’t have shirker colleague doing 80% and OP doing 120% to achieve this? Wouldn’t you care?

My situation is slightly different to the OP's in that the members of my team all do slightly different things so I would know fairly quickly if one was taking the piss. I have had that happen a couple of times and dealt with it during those persons 1:1s.
Yes, I care. I'm the single person who got shat on for years by parents who had to have Christmas off or cover their work because they had to leave work on time, but my time was considered lesser than. I'm very conscious of unfairness at work and the resentment that can foster because I am still resentful years later about how I was treated as lesser than and my time less important than that of parents on the team. So I try - and so far it is working - to give flexibility to all my team regardless of their circumstances at home. I've needed flexibility too as I've got a dog with complicated medical conditions and during covid I was having meetings in vets car parks!

No you are not unreasonable

This lady is using her children as an excuse for an easier work life.

Not cool

@quietatfirst children only need us to 'raise' them for a short number of years out of their total life. I think they need example too.

I don't want to raise the Ikea customers of the future but I don't want to give as little as possible 'if I ever need to work'. I appreciate the work people do for me - the teachers in teaching my children right now, the people who will cook and clean for me (meeting a friend later for lunch). I am part of society. I benefit from people's work and I contribute with my own.
Have a look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

Stop getting the work done and let them know why it isn't getting done. You keep picking up the slack and making it look like it's working.

YANBU and you definitely need to raise it with your line manager.

Lots of people where I work do have flexible working arrangements to fit around childcare, but they still have to get their work done and put in their contracted hours. There are people in my team who start at 10 so they can do a school run before work, or stop work at 3 to look after kids and then do a couple of hours in the evening from 6-8 or something. But they are still putting in the hours, getting their work done and not expecting anyone else to pick up the slack. It's clearly unfair to have two people doing the same role on the same salary and have one of them doing half the hours and half the work, regardless of the reason for that. She either needs to reduce her hours and accept the drop in salary or make proper childcare arrangements.

I'm having to laugh at some of the replies on here because, come on, we should all by sympathetic to the poor working mum who's not actually working a full day because it's all too hard? Yes, it's hard, OP is most likely a mum too who's also juggling childcare but is still managing to do her job properly.

This woman should either sort out her childcare issues, or take a reduced hours contract. Both of these obviously cost money though, which is the crux of the matter. She's effectively chosen the reduced hours and no childcare costs, but has kept her income unchanged by stealth.

OP's not being a martyr, she's just fulfilling her employment contract (and then some - which isn't being a martyr, it's just being professional), rather than taking the piss and expecting her teammates to pick up her slack!

Realistically OP, if your line manager isn't aware of the travelling to/from work during work time, this is the bit you really have to bring up with them. If you don't want to get too involved, have a conversation in private and make it clear that you don't want it to get out that it has come from you. Tell them that it's making a lot of the team very dissatisfied with their own jobs when they can see someone being paid the same as them for doing much less work.

If one of my staff came to me to tell me I'm paying a member of staff for 7.5 hours a day, but they're only working 6, I'd be pissed off. Just because the work's being done, doesn't mean you should alienate a whole team, for the sake of one (poor) employee.

If they don't resolve it, the rest of the team will all leave.

But it is my business because when she’s being paid to work but not working, it prohibits her from taking on her fair share of the workload, this is impacting on me as my workload is higher.

I can actually respect this, however, you're allowing it to happen. If your workload is too high, that's a conversation for your line manager. If, for example, you're a HV or something similar and there are X amount of patients that need to be seen, everyone needs to be allocated the same amount of patients. And if she decides to do childcare in her working hours then that's up to her, she'll have to catch up in her own time. It's not up to you to decide WHEN she works, that's up to her and her manager to agree, but you do have a responsibility to make sure that she isn't impacting your workload. So that's the issue you need to confront with your manager, not about what hours she does. Make sure she gets allocated her fair share of the work and then she can decide when to do it.

No, but am NHS

Are you sure she is paid same hours as you?

I work just a few hours a week, but because I'm around a lot, people assume I'm employed 30 or more hours. I'm often in at 10am (the people I supervise are in at 8), and I leave at 2. I often have kids in the background (because I'm working during non-work hours!!)

In reality I do twice the hours I'm paid for - but if people don't ask me the hours I'm.paid for, and assume I'm full time or nearly full time then they'd think I'm a slacker.

If it bothers you so much, why don't you ask her if she's full time? If she says yes, you could then just be explicit with how you feel - and ask her how come she gets to do less than you. That way you will not be being two faced, and she may also then tell you if she has specific flexible working arrangements that you don't know about

I know she’s full time, I know she doesn’t have a flexible working arrangement and I know she hasn’t any special agreements about travelling in her work time or caring for children in working hours. I also know how financially comfortable she is as she is very vocal about how she spends money, what the car costs monthly, holidays etc.

Anyway, thanks for all the advice and supportive comments, a conversation with my manager is now on next weeks to do list, I really appreciate all the guidance. For everyone that has suggested not doing picking up the extra, it’s really not that simple, there would be risk to doing that and whilst some might say that’s not my problem it’s just not something I’m prepared to have on me, call that being a martyr if you like.

Thanks again all who’ve taken the time to read/post 😊

Good luck OP. Definitely raise it with your manager - it’s not sustainable for the rest of a team to carry one skiver (mum or not) because they feel guilty for the service users. Trust me, I know - I’m currently on mandatory reduced hours due to burnout from doing exactly that. Not a great result for anyone but my manager ignored my requests to sort it out, so. I hope your manager is more robust!

I can’t actually believe the negativity to the OP about this. You must’ve never had the bad luck to work with a shirker! I’ve got one now, problem is she’s the manager! Good luck OP, get it sorted or you’ll be dragged down x

I would just focus on doing your job in your allocated hours and not burn yourself out or get stressed doing any more especially if you are not getting paid overtime for it or it’s not being recognised.

You can not change other people but you can change yourself. Find other things to do that make your life better, study, exercise, cook healthy meals etc things that benefit you in your time.

Keep work and personal time separate. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have kids or that you you have more time to work because you don’t have kids, your personal time is precious. Don’t think about what others aren’t doing, just think about what you are doing.

I have flexible working and do work around school times and nursery but I also log in every night after the kids have gone to bed to make up the time. Not everyone cares at the end of the day.

For goodness sake look to your own work and stop being so interested in hers.

Good Advice from @Starfish75 … your colleague has exercised her right to the modern day … Work/Life Balance - which has accelerated since the lockdown and furlough - sure employers are only interested in the team getting the work done - but do you need to revisit your own work/life balance - if you’re not happy at your job, put it in writing to your employer but start looking for another job, if you get one and your employer values your work contribution, chances are they’ll sit up and listen - but if there’s no need to restructure your work time; i.e. you don’t have young children - stop the side-tracking and get on with your own work - tough love - too many people waste their emotions bickering at work - don’t like it, get another job - LEAVE - otherwise get on with it!

I think this is taking the piss. You need to let your line manager know what’s going on. It’s not ok that others are carrying a heavier workload because she is taking the piss. I have kids and a senior job but I don’t behave like that, it’s disgusting. And actually it is fraud, you are receiving pay for hours you don’t work. In some companies that’s gross misconduct.

YABU - you are making a lot of assumptions about your colleague and seem to have spent a lot of time analysing her movements and diary, which I think is bordering on obsession.

if you feel you are working harder than you should and that there is a lack of parity between team member then the only person that can resolve this is your line manager.

there could be lots of different factors at play here, doing work off line ie marking up notes, reading through reports and prep, quality of her actual work which may be better than average, feedback from others and lots of things that a line manager could be seeing as a total picture.

Another one who thinks work/life balance is just for mums eh @illicitinkling? That was the mentality that saw me burnout! Everyone is deserving of the ability to structure work around their personal life, as long as they’re performing and doing what they’re paid to do. Not just one class of people.

ok you are a martyr. I am a retired NHS manager and I used to get fed up with people doing extra hours because they couldn't leave stuff.

You and the other team members just do what you're meant to, any slack, let it go and when your manager asks why, you can all tell them that you're not covering her any more so stuff isn't getting done

I am baffled at the many pp who have advised OP to focus on her work and not on the colleague….her colleague’s idleness is causing an increase to her work. So by her raising this, op is focusing on her work. The focus is to reduce her increased workload cus her colleague sucks!

Bad manager not to sort this out. They should be aware, especially after a year.
Be very careful not to end up as the shot messenger on this.
As a manager for longer than I can count, it’s essential things like this are sorted asap. One bad apple means the whole team suffers. It’s hard though - they can be the first to cite any type of defence they think will stick. I’ve had someone blatantly working two jobs while in the office and I still ended up with her citing me for disciplinary issues when I’d done everything by the book. Sorry for this, must be an absolute pain.

@rainbowmilk it’s got nothing to do with class! But a lot to do with people communicating at work (and you don’t need the misogynistic men in the trade unions to represent men and women) both men and women - it’s just some people are too busy ganging up on others - being all nicey nicey to their face and then running them down behind their backs - got something you want to say at work - say it to the appropriate director and stop being a pain in the bottom you sit on!

You need to out her. If she has designated tasks and you and the rest of the team are picking them up simply stop doing them and the truth will out.

Would be good to be a fly on the wall! Bet Mumsnet remove this discussion overnight - trades union people trying to stir up a hornets nest on chat rooms whilst there’s industrial action going on elsewhere - bit like the phoney question yesterday about a woman who claimed she met a guy in a bar, got drunk, had a ONS and felt like a slag - but then the I.p. Address flagged up as suspicious - bet you tomorrow this thread will have been closed down FAKE ISSUES ETC