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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feeling ashamed for having not gone out of the door for more than once in the past 10 days

65 replies

Ohlife2020 · 01/09/2022 17:35

Everyone went to bed a bit later and then got up a lot later. DH needs to work (from home) so he's the only one who got up at 8:30. Then two boys and me all stayed in bed until one of us woke up usually about 9:30.

We were away for holiday for the most of the summer. Since we came back, I just didn't feel motivated to do much at all. I'm usually a "stay-in" type of people and wouldn't feel missing much if I don't go out much at all. The intense holiday plus the fact that we started potty training last week gave me sound excuses to not making efforts.

We only went to the shop passing the library one morning. DS1 still has some daily work to do for 11+, whilst the little one seems also just recovering from the exhausting few weeks being out and about in holiday. They didn't seem to feel too restless or too fussy about it. When they want to get the steam out, they would just go to the garden for a while.

I honestly feel quite content for doing little efforts to organise going out (so much work...). But on the other hand, I do profoundly feel ashamed, especially I can't even convince myself to change out from the pyjamas...

Anyone else feel like this? Or just me being too lazy? 🙄

OP posts:
Sunnytwobridges · 01/09/2022 21:06

I'm a homebody, so I dont see anything wrong with this. I feel like if it makes you happy then there's nothing wrong with it. I hate running around doing stuff every day, I love being at home.

Oblomov22 · 01/09/2022 21:13

I'm happiest slobbing about at home in my dressing gown. I don't even need to go out. Probably the 3rd day is my max.

Alliswells · 01/09/2022 21:18

B
efore lockdown I would have been horrified at being home most of the time. Now I absolutely love it.

Theres always something to keep me occupied. I do get out of my PJ's though and love pottering about in my shorts, t-shirt and flip flops.

Darkness22 · 01/09/2022 21:22

Whilst I love being at home, I think you need to make an effort for the children. Even a walk to the shop etc.

SpringRainbow · 01/09/2022 21:24

I have often thought to myself that if it wasn’t for my kids I would rarely ever leave the house. Especially now (thanks to lockdown) I have discovered how to get pretty much everything online.

I am quite happy staying indoors most of the time. I would probably only venture out on the rare occasion I actually feel like going out.

Most of the time I am happy to just potter around the house.

AceSpades54321 · 01/09/2022 21:27

We have spent pretty much the whole summer at home, occasional trip out to shop or swim, but 90% of the time at home. The kids are so happy at home playing with toys etc, they hate leaving the house. We are all home-bods, esp since covid. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Cheaper too.

resuwen · 01/09/2022 21:33

I am a homebody and could quite happily sit in for days on end. I'm not sure it's very good for people who though - fortunately school pick ups and a very active DH and DD drag me out on a regular basis! Try to get some sunshine in the garden at least.

SallyWD · 01/09/2022 21:33

It's fine if you're all happy but I couldn't personally stay in more than one day. I really need to get my body moving or I feel awful. If I'm at home all day I feel very lethargic. The less I do the more lethargic I become. That's why I think you'd probably feel better even if you just went to the park for an hour a day. It's good for the children to have fresh air, exercise and a change if scene.

waterrat · 01/09/2022 21:39

Sorry op but i think kids need to be more active than that. They arent designed by nature to be sedentary. They need to develop healthy life long habits of enjoying fresh air and moving their bodies.

Nothing wrong with chilling and being cosy but i would always get my children outside for a run around daily.

userxx · 01/09/2022 21:40

Jesus, I'd have serious cabin fever. Even the thought makes me quite depressed.

Swishswish26 · 01/09/2022 21:49

I think that as you have children you could maybe try and get out for at least an hour a day. I have two dc and we couldn’t be at home every day. They are active and need to burn off energy with a bike ride, run around, visit to the park or long walk. I don’t think it’s good for children to be cooped up at home all day, they need social time and exercise.

DenholmElliot1 · 01/09/2022 21:53

Sorry but agree with a PP that children need to be out and be active. They're not getting their recommended amount of daily exercise and it doesn't sound as though their limbs are exposed to the sun much so could suffer from vitamin d deficiency.

How long was your DS1 spending on his daily 11+ revision? 2 hours a day? What did he do the rest of the time?

Heyjoewhatdoyouknow · 01/09/2022 21:54

My husband's family are a bit like this. At Christmas, they just want to sit in the house, everyone together and the kids don't even go in the garden. For days on end.

I get cabin fever if I'm in for either the morning or afternoon, I usually go out for both! Everyone is obviously different but I think kids need to go out at least once a day, most days.

Fairylightsongs · 01/09/2022 21:57

I think it’s fine to stay home when it’s just you but staying in your pyjamas all day and not leaving the house for a couple of weeks when you,have children is not good.

Fairylightsongs · 01/09/2022 21:59

AceSpades54321 · 01/09/2022 21:27

We have spent pretty much the whole summer at home, occasional trip out to shop or swim, but 90% of the time at home. The kids are so happy at home playing with toys etc, they hate leaving the house. We are all home-bods, esp since covid. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Cheaper too.

Your children hate leaving the house. This should really concern you. Does it not?

DSGR · 01/09/2022 22:05

I think yabu, children should go out and get some exercise…even if it’s just every other day. You should too. It’s good for mental health apart from anything

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 01/09/2022 22:11

As long as the kids are happy, it's fine. They have access to the garden and I'm sure if they asked to go elsewhere you'd do it

SupDuck · 01/09/2022 22:12

I’ve always worked on the fact that kids need fresh air and exercise daily really, unless they are ill.
The weather has been good and it’s been lovely just being out for walks and the
park. I reckon if you plan to go out for a good leg stretch tomorrow you will be glad you did.

Yellowblanketofdoom · 01/09/2022 22:12

I hear you OP. I fell into this habit just before the summer holidays. DH was off work and doing the school run. I WFH so had no need to leave the house. I don't think it did me good. Having been out every day since the kids have been off, I feel better for getting out. Even if it's an hours walk in the evening on my own.

I'm pretty lazy though. I let the kids play all morning and don't get dressed until noon, then go out after lunch.

sammysal · 01/09/2022 22:29

10 days seems long for not getting dressed and / or going out.

Fairylightsongs · 01/09/2022 22:33

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 01/09/2022 22:11

As long as the kids are happy, it's fine. They have access to the garden and I'm sure if they asked to go elsewhere you'd do it

Do you know the op? Why are you sure of this of someone whose not left the house in ten days and doesn’t want to even get dressed? You need to explain this.

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts · 01/09/2022 22:37

Everyone is different but for me if I don't get out everyday my mental health suffers. Also dd2 goes really stir crazy indoors, shes very active and if she doesn't burn off enough energy she struggles to sleep.

I do enjoy being at home and lazing about so sometimes I force us out even if it's a walk around the block or 20 mins with the girls at the park.

MuckyPlucky · 01/09/2022 22:42

What daily exercise are your DC’s getting? And yourself for that matter?

Ilovelurchers · 01/09/2022 22:46

When off work I certainly have days when I struggle to leave the house. I try not to let it go on more than a day though, for DD'd sake and also my own mental health. This summer holidays I have tried to make sure we get out of the house at least once a day. By this I don't mean big planned outings. Could be a trip to the local shops (only 10 mins walk away); going to see my mom and dad who are a 5 min drive away; walking the dog (DH walks him usually but he always loves an extra walk); joining DH in the local pub for an hour..... We now are lucky enough to have an allotment, which is a great excuse for a low-key trip out....

I am not judging you at all OP because I know it is hard sometimes - but for all of your sakes I think getting out and about would be good!

Mammyloveswine · 01/09/2022 22:56

Op we went away at the start of the summer hols and we were absolutely knackered coming back! Our holiday was lovely but definitely not relaxing!!

We've tended to do a day in/a day out... but we've also had a shit run of illnesses too these past few weeks so def haven't done as much as we normally would!

Plan something fit tomorrow..I have to plan to get out early as otherwise I then can't be arsed!