To feel this way about end of school holidays

[Worriedmum40284]

I've struggled this summer holiday and have been counting down until schools go back for a while. Have a 6yo and 2yo and work full time. Work has been incredibly busy and I've had to work many extra hours, including when I'm meant to have been on leave. Feeling very stressed by it.

I've run out of things to do with the kids, am getting really snappy and impatient with the constant demands from my eldest. He's a good kid but it still feels relentless and there is a constant complaint, ask, or criticism. Nothing feels good enough. Then I feel guilty for reacting badly.

However I've just seen a social media post about 'soaking up the last few days before school' and it's made me really teary and I've stupidly cried in front of DS6 when he's asked me to play (again) when I told him I just needed a bit of peace and quiet for a while.

Here's me constantly telling him off and counting the days down and wishing the time away (and sitting here on MN rather than giving more time to DS). I know people say the time goes fast and you should enjoy it but that seems easier said than done when you're in the moment

You are not BU to feel this way - no one is U to have an emotion.

what do you enjoy most doing with your eldest? What things bring you joy together? When do you get time to do that with them?

im not asking to be goady, just to suggest perhaps you could do that as an end to the holidays to feel like you’ve ended on a high note

YANBU! Don’t give yourself a hard time

Yanbu. I'm gutted the holidays are over and have cried a couple of times so far about it but don't believe that's because I'm a special parent or better than anyone. I just find the whole routine of school life totally draining for all of us. All our moods have been really good over the holidays as they always are and we've had loads of fun. And its just going to have to go back to stress and the utter bullshit from the schools combined with cold, shit weather from the get go it's looking like.

Please don’t take those social media ‘making memories’ posts to heart. You’re fine, your DC are fine and the school holidays are long and relentless for working parents.

What’s the DC’s other parent up to? Can they take some time with the DC so you can recharge a bit?

I can't wait tbh ,my youngest child has severe autism and learning disabilities, and whilst fir the most part he's lovely ,his behaviour is challenging, and six weeks is way to long ,I can't wait to get back to normality

I was singing around my kitchen when mine went back to school. Just saying....🤣🤣🤣🤣

Don’t feel bad at all and ignore everyone else’s #makingmemories shit!

You've had to work crazy hard. Extra hours. You’ve obviously done a lot of stuff with you kids already. You’re exhausted. It’s a long slog. Be nice to yourself!

OP you're doing amazing...I'm switching jobs and for a one off basically spent most of this summer hols with no work until I start back just after the kids. Unlikely to happen again! But blimey it's so much easier when you don't have to work. Ignore these people on social media and never beat yourself up.

What about ending with a pizza and movie night on one of the last night's of the holiday, give a little prize or memento of the summer (even a small thing like a postcard, or a small something that carries memories of some kind), then announce that you'll be doing that pizza and movie night every weekend now, to have them look forward to something after each week of school. Start a little tradition, the kids will love it!

No, you’re not unreasonable. I do like it when my kids are off but like you, I’ve had loads of work to do over summer and I’m struggling with child care so I’m also quite pleased we’re approaching the end.

If it helps it does get easier, mine are older now and I was thinking this morning that I will miss them all when they go back and not looking forward to the early mornings. Not too sure at what point it flipped but it will feel easier in a few years. Agree maybe go out for a little celebration together. Go for ice cream or take a picnic to a park.

It's just the FB gloss. I was out foraging for PE trainers yesterday and it seems half the world's population had dragged their kids into Sports Direct or were rifling desperately through racks of navy socks, on the hunt for black ones.

There will be loads of people counting down to term starting too. Nice, normal people who love their kids. It's a good thing they don't plaster these thoughts all over FB for their kids to read one day, but it's ok that they feel this way.

The thing is, what people post on social media is not always strictly true is it?
It's very easy to take a few nice snaps and tag them "making memories" or "soaking up the last few days" it doesn't mean they actually feel that way. It's likely that at least some of them are also gritting their teeth and praying for it to end.

But even those who do genuinely mean it, that's ok too people experience life in different ways and as long as your child is safe, loved and cared for it doesn't matter whether you're the "making memories" type or not.

Small rituals are lovely and often, those are the memories made!
When we talk about our childhood with my siblings, we often remember the Sunday morning breakfasts and summer picnics and other rituals around birthdays and special occasions.
We did go on holidays but they were fun and don't have the same 'warmth' to the memory.

I am slightly sad (only slightly) school holidays are ending - but mine are now older, much more self sufficient and actually want to do interesting things not play tea parties a million times on repeat. At 6 and 2 it was a case of head down, grit teeth, count the days until it was over.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with telling a six year old to go and play by themselves for a while, you are busy. It’s good for them - my children’s most creative and engaging “projects” have come from being told to find something to do by themselves.

The problem is work - why are you working when you're on leave? Turn your phone off and don't look at it, it's not acceptable for them to take over your family time, they don't own your life. If it's very busy then they need to hire more people - but they won't if they can dump it on you instead.

Can you give ds a set time when you can do something with him - that way you're not always just saying no? What games does he like? a quick story, going out for a walk, making something fun for lunch together. Just have short times (before work, lunch time, straight after work, bedtime) through the day when you can do something with him. Work need to wind their neck in IMO and you need to put in boundaries.

I dread the end of school holidays and my daughters are grown up.

I hate school run time.

Whoops - lighthearted.

Not unreasonable at all. I’m looking forward to it too! Mine are 6 and 4 and yes the word ‘relentless’ resonates! I think it’s good for everyone to be back into routine, 6 weeks is a long time to entertain small people, especially when you have to fit working around them too. You deserve some down time.

Don’t feel bad op, everyone’s exhausted by the end of summer

it’s the parents on social media say thing can’t wait til the end of the holidays on the day the schools break up that make me sad.

it’s very normal to be glad they’re going back and getting lots of stimulation and interaction that doesn’t ALL come from you

It completely depends on the type of person you are. I’m gutted the holidays are over as I really struggle with a regimented routine. I’m very disorganised and struggle with having to have everyone somewhere on time and fitting everything in. Getting the kids to school, dog walked, me to the office then everything in reverse at the end of the day, sorting dinner, sorting school uniforms and bags for the next day then baths and bed only to have to do it all over again the next day and the next day etc is so hard for me.

My husband on the other hand thrives on routine and can’t wait for the kids to go back to school and life to resume to normal.

Dont beat yourself up, we’re all different, no right or wrong.

YANBU. I can't wait for term to start and I haven't actually got kids of my own.

YANBU. I can't bloody wait.

Both mine were bored by week 3. It's way to long!

Yanbu. This summer has been relentless. My 2 can't be within 6 feet of each other without fighting. On their own, they are delightful; they are polar opposites and cannot agree on anything. I'm looking forward to back to school.

Social media isn’t for busy parents with real lives. Go on a social media detox and you’ll instantly feel like a better parent.

DD1 is disgusted with me being "sooo embarassing" skipping out of the car singing "most wonderful time of the year" today when theirs went back!