Make me feel better about staying in London please!

[Sudbury]

Partner and I are going to move out of our London flat as we want more space / garden for the toddler and baby.

I’m desperate to use this as a way to leave London and head for a smaller city, think: a Cathedral city so somewhere with culture, history and an identity - basically York or Norwich, but probably York. Somewhere we can get a slightly bigger cheaper house, have a calmer pace of life, make new friends, grow our own veg and not raise children who may be entitled London brats.

Reasons being I find London life annoying is I’ve been here 13 years and it’s increasingly fast paced, crowded, polluted and competitive. Don’t like being so far away from the countryside, living in the same city as friends but it taking an hour and a half to get to them because it’s so bloody big, no real sense of community, the general feeling of stress and busyness that seems to scent the London air.

Partner is not keen to leave, at least not now and gives very sensible reasons. We’d have to find new jobs / retrain as we both have London centric careers and while we do want to retrain now is probably too soon. We don’t have friends of family outside London in the places we’d like to move and raising young kids with no friends or family close by (which would be the case if we moved) is bloody hard. Other places may be less open / accepting of people who don’t 100% fit the straight, white, Christian mould.

I know in my heart that partner is right, and if they also wanted to leave I’d be voicing some of their reasons for staying. But I still get a horrible pang of longing whenever we leave London, or conversely view a house In London that costs double what a bigger house would cost elsewhere.

Help! Convince me that London is worth staying in and that the dream life doesn’t lie in York

What are entitled London brats OP?

Why York? Is there not a middle ground like living in say Guildford or Tunbridge Wells and commuting to London when needed for work?

What are entitled London brats?

“Other places may be less open / accepting of people who don’t 100% fit the straight, white, Christian mould” 🤨🤨🤨

Have you ever even left London? I think it’s time you did tbh. Your sweeping statements about both the capital and the rest of the country are ridiculous. Time to broaden your horizons.

I've lived in London for decades and not had the experiences you've had. & we have excellent transport links here, some 24 hour. So I don't get your fuss about travelling time.

As for 'entitled London brats' you sound like a snob tbh. & that wont help you, when you do move. Miles sway from friends and family with no childcare support.

It could work but you speak as if its a given that everything will be ok when you move. Stuff happens everywhere its not all peace and love the minute you leave London. Spend a couple of weeks in the area you want to move to, and take it from there (& dont come on here next year moaning about stag & hen nights in York🙂)

Your post sounds very naive and not well planned. There is literally nothing about London specifically that would make your children any more likely to be brats than anywhere else in the country.
Have you even stayed in York or Norwich for any significant period of time?
Moving away to a random city you have no ties to, with no family or support network and having kids is not going to be the easy fix you seem to think it is.

Personally I think you’d fit right in in York 😀

You won’t endear yourself to the people of York with that attitude. Not everyone north of Watford is a closet Blackshirt.

Move to a smaller town within committing distance of London, you can everything that you need then.

Your money will buy more house, you'll have nice schools, community if that's what you want etc.

DH and I are not Christian and I am not white. I think we would fit in well in Manchester, Bristol, Cambridge, even St Albans! With the exception of St Albans, all these places are very faraway from our jobs in London and St A is becoming more expensive than my z3 london neighbourhood esp when you take commuting into consideration!

DH and I were once denied service in a pub in Buckinghamshire cos we are an interracial couple but they happily served the white patrons! I think thats why so many ethnic minorites stay in london while their white peers move out to suburbia and commuter towns because outside a few pockets like Reading, St A , Guildford (maybe), Colchester, Chelmsford, its not that diverse....

It’s easy to fall into the “Grass is always greener” trap OP but sometimes it isn’t. If a move would involve career changes, less family support, DCs schools..... that’s an awful lot of things that could go wrong.

I started finding London annoying, but we'd planned to move out.

I think you need a home counties move first though. York is very far away (have you actually been to Norwich). There are lots of places nearer to London that are green.

Are you determined to piss off absolutely everyone, OP? Kids in London are all brats and everyone outside the capital is white, Christian and narrow-minded???

You are living in the wrong part of London. Some bits of London are very villagey, friendly and quite chilled. What makes your think london kids are any more bratty than anywhere else. You can grow veggies if you have a patch of green in london.
I have visited York and felt it would get on my nerves long term that it’s so tourist orientated although it is gorgeous. At least outside of the centre of London, Londoners aren’t too swamped by tourists.
if you move somewhere with a hub or focus in london, there’s nowhere better in my opinion - london is the best city in the world. Tired of London tired of life as they say.

It's on you if your kids turn out bratty. Location will have. I thing to do with it. Regardless based on what you've said, do Londoners a favour and leave.

Do you honestly think that you need to fit the "straight, white, Christian mould' to live outside London? Have you ever been outside London?

With respect, I think they'd be an even better fit for Winchester! 🤣

“Other places may be less open / accepting of people who don’t 100% fit the straight, white, Christian mould

What are entitled London brats OP? Personally I would never leave London for York. Don’t like the place at all!

Go forth and live in Bromley or Beckenham. Everyone who dislikes London but wants to be near it seems to live there

You’d tick most of your boxes by living in London but in a house on a quiet street near a big park and growing some veggies in a small garden. You’d have to take some responsibility for not raising entitled London brats but the trade of would be worth it as there’s less chance of encountering bigoted Christians…

We did this and moved to Cardiff. In London we had a 2 bed flat, sold up and bought a 3 bed no mortgage.
I regret it massively. The only people i see are the mums and nannys on school drop off and pick up. Got a new job with lower wage as no HCA is included. We never go out have date nights its all work and childcare. Its hard. Friends visited at first but life gets in the way.

What about Royston Vasey Op. I think you’d fit right in😂

I can’t speak for York, but Norwich is pretty diverse and right on these days, I think you’d be pleasantly surprised. Out in the villages, yes, it’s very white, but the city and hospital/university area is much more mixed. Plus it’s an easy train journey if you want a day out in London.

Yes, all London children are entitled brats 🙄