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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dread seeing this friend? Pyramid scheme

119 replies

oneproudmumma · 31/08/2022 10:03

My friend has recently gone down a so called healthy eating path which promotes herbal stuff that she sells (some kind of pyramid scheme). Her Instagram is full of pics of her in a bikini sucking her stomach in and of "success stories" etc. I find it all a bit cringe.

She tried to post a link to my Facebook wall to promote something which I swiftly deleted.

I don't see her too often these days but more recently she keeps asking me to meet up with her and I've been putting it off because I'm dreading her trying to push this weird diet and supplements on me.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
oneproudmumma · 31/08/2022 11:05

@Nannyogg134

it's like reading the inner thoughts of a cult member who doesn't realise the kool aid has an extra ingredient!

That's hilarious and sp true! You have summed it up perfectly 👌🏼

OP posts:
FourChimneys · 31/08/2022 11:06

"Sorry, my consultant has told me not to take any supplements."

"Oh, are you seeing a consultant?"

"Yes, far too boring to talk about though. How was your holiday/building work/cousin's wedding?"

10HailMarys · 31/08/2022 11:09

Ugh. MLMs are awful in general but the weight loss ones are the worst of the lot.

Luckily none of my close friends/relatives have gone down the MLM rabbit-hole but a couple of acquaintances signed up with Younique and a scented candle/wax melts thing once. I ended up blocking the Younique one on social media because she appeared to have fully lost her mind. The smelly candle one unfriended me when I asked her to please stop tagging me in posts about candles and inviting me to Facebook Lives about it.

Maisa45 · 31/08/2022 11:11

YANBU but hopefully your friend will see the light soon. MLMs really are cults. Horrible, exploitative cults. I got involved in Forever Living in 2016 and they deliberately profile and target people based on their weaknesses ie a desire to be a SAHM, weight worries etc. Then they reach you to do the same, framing it as you helping them. To this day I'm still horrified at the person I became - only seeing people for what I could get out for them because of the pressure from my "upline" and the fact that they'd plastered my "successful business" all over FB. They encourage you to cut out anyone who isn't supportive of your "new lifestyle" Maybe the one she's doing isn't quite as bad. I once visited my upline's house and they had "We WILL get to the next level" on post its all over their house and boxes and boxes of products they'd bought themselves in order to earn enough points. I'm not even annoyed at them getting me involved in it because I can see they were desperate and being exploited too.

Maisa45 · 31/08/2022 11:16

Oh and I ended up spending around £1000 of my own money on products and I was also told what I was and wasn't allowed to post on social media. I was even told off for posting pictures of my dogs as that wasn't "selling the lifestyle".

Maisa45 · 31/08/2022 11:16

I feel so stupid looking back but I try to be honest about it so others won't make the same mistake.

RainbowsMoonbeams · 31/08/2022 11:19

YANBU

These people become possessed. Suddenly, they want to befriend you, or talk to you again after 10 years.

I would smell a rat that she is back in touch to be honest. Maybe meet with her, and if she mentions her pyramid scheme heavily make excuses and leave.

Original poster
oneproudmumma · 31/08/2022 11:26

@Maisa45 wow that sounds awful but interesting to see it from a different angle..

OP posts:
Maisa45 · 31/08/2022 11:27

oneproudmumma · 31/08/2022 11:26

@Maisa45 wow that sounds awful but interesting to see it from a different angle..

Yeah, I honestly don't blame you for not wanting to see her though.

Thelnebriati · 31/08/2022 11:31

They are told to unfriend people who are 'unsupportive' so put the ball in her court. Tell her you'd love to meet up but won't be buying any products or discussing them; she can pick her business or her friendship with you.

Original poster
oneproudmumma · 31/08/2022 11:35

They are told to unfriend people who are 'unsupportive'

That is franky shocking! 😲 I mean losing money and time flogging this shite is one thing but they want their members to lose their friends too?!

OP posts:
Maisa45 · 31/08/2022 11:37

oneproudmumma · 31/08/2022 11:35

They are told to unfriend people who are 'unsupportive'

That is franky shocking! 😲 I mean losing money and time flogging this shite is one thing but they want their members to lose their friends too?!

Yep, it's true. I was told that anyone who didn't support me was jealous or "just hadn't come round yet". We were all told to just keep on posting and that all the haters would watch our success from afar and come crawling back 😂

Novum · 31/08/2022 11:38

oneproudmumma · 31/08/2022 10:52

Yes I agree. Worse still she seems to have all these new friends who are all clearly part of the same scheme and there are lots of pictures of their very staged and posed nights out etc. Ick. Where's my old friend gone? 😩

The new friends will disappear and your old friend will come back when the light dawns on her about what total crap this scheme is. You just need to hope she learns her lesson and doesn't go after the next MLM scheme that promises her massive riches for minimal work.

Flossie2shoes · 31/08/2022 11:39

Just unfollow her. If approached directly simply say you're not interested, then repeat - as I said, I'm not interested.

Goosygandy · 31/08/2022 11:43

Thelnebriati · 31/08/2022 11:31

They are told to unfriend people who are 'unsupportive' so put the ball in her court. Tell her you'd love to meet up but won't be buying any products or discussing them; she can pick her business or her friendship with you.

That's what I'd do too. Just set your boundaries!

RaRaRaspoutine · 31/08/2022 11:48

Send her a link to Elle's Poonique Story. It's shocking.

Original poster
oneproudmumma · 31/08/2022 11:50

This thread has been an eye opener for me. I knew MLM schemes were pushy but didn't realise quite how low they stooped. I feel so sad for my friend - she does have a day job too so this isn't her only source of income but they do struggle a bit financially which must be how she got sucked into this scheme...

Wondering what her DH makes of all this!!

OP posts:
GreenManalishi · 31/08/2022 11:51

She will be under an immense amount of pressure from up the chain to "perform" and they''ll have brainwashed her that anyone that isn't with her is against her. I can't belive people are still falling for this guff.

Anyway, do you actually want to spend your time with her? Unless the answer is a confident yes, friendships fade for all sorts of reasons, and this is a fairly good one I'd say!

GoneWithTheWine1 · 31/08/2022 11:51

YANBU.

"friend I'm sorry but I'm just not interested in that shit you're flogging."

Original poster
oneproudmumma · 31/08/2022 11:53

@GreenManalishi it is a friendship I could let slide really but she has in the past before she was brainwashed been a good friend, very kind and thoughtful. Eg I liked something she was wearing once and she went to the shop to pick one up for me and brought it round the next day.

OP posts:
Original poster
oneproudmumma · 31/08/2022 11:55

She will be under an immense amount of pressure from up the chain to "perform" and they''ll have brainwashed her that anyone that isn't with her is against her. I can't belive people are still falling for this guff.

One of the "success stories" was her own parent 😳🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Maisa45 · 31/08/2022 11:55

oneproudmumma · 31/08/2022 11:50

This thread has been an eye opener for me. I knew MLM schemes were pushy but didn't realise quite how low they stooped. I feel so sad for my friend - she does have a day job too so this isn't her only source of income but they do struggle a bit financially which must be how she got sucked into this scheme...

Wondering what her DH makes of all this!!

That is probably how they sucked her in - they promise you financial security then make you spend all the money you don't have. I paid £200 for my starter pack and was told it was an "investment". I was also pressured to throw a launch party even though I really didn't want to. My upline came over to do a speech and I spent a fortune on food and drinks and didn't sell anything. I should have NC'd for this because I could tell so much more. Me and my DH and my brother still laugh about a member of my upline telling me to go for drinks alone, buy two drinks and pretend on FB that I was meeting a new team member to generate curiosity about my "growing business".

Original poster
oneproudmumma · 31/08/2022 11:59

@Maisa45 Gosh, really?! I'm really glad you can laugh about it now. It is shocking though, the tactics these cults schemes use.

I should have NC'd for this

It's funny how we read through and panic what we say could be outing but really we could be anyone as I'm sure these situations are far from unique - or should I say Younique! - as this thread demonstrates

OP posts:
myusernameisalreadyused · 31/08/2022 11:59

Sparklesocks · 31/08/2022 10:57

Oh it’s tiring. I had a message out of the blue from a former work colleague I used to be friendly with, we had a good rapport and used to have a good natter at after work drinks but lost touch when she got a new job. I was really pleased to hear from her and we chatted for a bit about what we were up to etc. Wasn’t long before she started giving me an MLM spiel and I felt very foolish I had walked into it. Just made me very annoyed that she used our previous rapport to try and flog me her shitty make up. All that good will just vanished.

I had exactly this same experience. It is so sad what people can be drawn into and who they become.

YANBU, op.

Eeksteek · 31/08/2022 11:59

Nannyogg134 · 31/08/2022 11:01

YANBU one of my friends has started selling Body Shop and it's so cringy. I desperately want to tell her that it's not a business, it's pushing products to your family and friends. The faux inspirational pics/posts are the worst, I know she's being told to post most of these things, but it's like reading the inner thoughts of a cult member who doesn't realise the kool aid has an extra ingredient!

It’s awful isn’t it? And people constantly suggest it when you need flexible income. I suck at selling, don’t have the social network and would feel uncomfortable using my family and friends like that if I did. The cult feeling around is cringy in the extreme. I hate all that ‘bigging up’ hyper-enthusiasm style stuff anyway, and I’ve no idea how people do it.

Shut it down. She just wants to sell you shit. Tell her once, that it’s not for you. If she wont let it go, cool the friendship for a few months. I don’t know what the average life of these ‘businesses’ is, but it’s short. Because they are pyramid schemes.