Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say DS won't comply with school uniform?

452 replies

LegoVsFoot · 31/08/2022 08:55

For context, school has been terrible about communication so far - not responding to any emails, cancelling a registration day only an hour in advance, etc.

I checked the uniform policy - nothing on website. On the uniform retailer page, there were guidelines, but nothing about boys' trousers and nothing for sale, so I figured there were no restrictions. I bought DS some plain trousers over the summer.

It's now about a week before school starts and a school Whatsapp has been set up. I asked about the uniform just to make sure and a parent with a child already enrolled has replied saying they're only allowed to wear grey uniform trousers from Next or M&S.

It’s too late to return what I bought and I don’t have the funds to buy all new clothes simply because school didn’t bother to tell parents the uniform.

AIBU to send him in in what I bought because there is no information stating differently?

OP posts:
WhereshouldIgo · 31/08/2022 09:55

Op - give me the name of the school and I’ll have the info you need in 5 mins…

midgetastic · 31/08/2022 09:56

Blue is an unusual colour to buy for school trousers in uk

Black is just a very dark grey

oviraptor21 · 31/08/2022 09:57

I have no doubt at all that you can contact the retailer and exchange the blue/black trousers for grey. Job done.

Don't send your son in on his first day in the wrong colour. That would be really unfair to project your agenda on him.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 31/08/2022 09:58

It’s not outing to name the school. If you in London and are 20 minutes away from the school that’s a huge population in the area!

if we can help you find this information your dc won’t be in the wrong trousers when they start and no one will be any the wiser.

if you say what size you need, we may even be able to get some for you.

dampgreg · 31/08/2022 09:58

ZeroFuchsGiven · 31/08/2022 09:25

Of all the colours you chose blue?

This makes no sense whatsoever, I dont even have kids in primary but I know what the local uniform is, Have you never seen any children from that school, Did you not go and look round before choosing to enroll your child there? And I find it very hard to believe that there is no uniform info on the website, no pictures of the kids wearing said uniform on the website and you were not giving a uniform list along with the rest of the bumph you get.

And there's no school telephone number 😂

ZeroFuchsGiven · 31/08/2022 09:58

Black is just a very dark grey

Grin Grin

Sprogonthetyne · 31/08/2022 09:59

Blue would be very unusual for school trousers, so if most people were guessing they wouldn't have picked blue, but we've all lived a lifetime seeing school aged children, and probably wore standard uniform ourselves.

If you definitely can't exchange them, I'd probably use the black ones. He's 4 (I assume), no one cares, the other kids won't be that observant and the teachers will be more concerned about setting him in, then pulling him up on trousers. When he's older it might be more of an issue, but you know now, and can get gray next time.

I probably wouldn't send him in the blue, but if the school ask for spare cloths they will be fine to live in the bag, incase he has an accident or falls in the mud. My DS had joggers as his spare as it wasn't worth buying another set of uniform that would only be worn occasionally, no one said anything and were just pleased to have something dry to change him into.

CroccyWoccy · 31/08/2022 10:02

Have you got it on the authority of anyone else other than one mum on WhatsApp?

WillPowerLite · 31/08/2022 10:02

You bought the wrong trousers. Irritating, but that's life.

Go buy 2 pairs of cheap grey school trousers for your son. Send him to school in the right uniform on Day 1, as it is a new school for him. The school won't care for a few days if you have the wrong colour trousers. Your ds might. But either way, you will need to buy the correct colour in the near future.

I would first double-check the info from the school mum. Can she point you to a WhatsApp Group? Or... Any supermarket local to the school will likely know what your school's uniform is. So will the local newsagents. And likely the cafes. Other parents at the playground.

BishyBarnyBee · 31/08/2022 10:02

Bless you, starting a new school is stressful enough to organise, without it being in an unfamiliar country.

I'd just say, whatever you do, try not to let your first interaction with the school be telling them you won't comply with the policy, and try not to go in all guns blazing about the poor communication.

If you can't afford new trousers, send him in the black ones and sponge them clean overnight if you have to. But if you can afford it, 100% do what people have suggested and pick up some cheap supermarket grey ones.

Schools often just assume everyone knows the system because they've been doing it that way for years so why wouldn't everyone know? It's really poor practice, but it doesn't necessarily mean it will be all round terrible, or that your child will be unhappy there.

Also, one of the biggest factors in children being happy and succeeding at school is a positive home-school relationship. That generally means giving the school the benefit of the doubt and trying to build a positive partnership with the class teacher, support staff and Head. Try and let go off the frustration, make the best of the situation and give your child the most relaxed start you can manage.

Good luck and I'm sure he'll be fine!

MercurialMonday · 31/08/2022 10:03

I’ve never seeen a school uniform with grey trousers, it’s all black around here.

It's very much black at secondary here and they are sticklers - but primary was supposed to be grey but they were lax and black or grey were fine.

I've rarely seen blue - but have seen them for sale so somewhere must have blue skirts/trousers.

Previous primary it was grey/black - they liked jumpers and tops and older kids ties to be right.

It does depend on the school how strict they will be - but blue probably is a bit out more stand out than grey/black.

Asda grey trousers - if lucky might get two for £7.

They may have style regulations - DC secondary does no skinny styles.

I ma surprised info wasn't on school website or in information pack it's usually there somewhere so it doesn't bode well for last minute dress up days or event communication.

Wheelz46 · 31/08/2022 10:04

All the primary schools in my area have twitter accounts where they post numerous photos of the school day of children in uniform (with parent's permission).

You could search for the school on twitter and see what colour (or colours, if there is no colour policy) the children are wearing.

Threelittlelambs · 31/08/2022 10:05

When did we all become obsessed with a 4 year old boy on blue trousers.
DS went in 18 month old joggers because he was so small and nobody batted an eyelid! They won’t care and long as he’s happy.
Its not a big deal.

TheOrigRights · 31/08/2022 10:07

Did you buy them over a month ago? I'm wondering why it's too late to return them. You will probably be able to sell them on a local selling site if you can't return them.

SillySausage81 · 31/08/2022 10:07

Christmasiscominghohoho · 31/08/2022 09:24

Because it’s pretty standard.

No one buys blue trousers which would be hard to find over grey.

Show quote history

Well I don't have primary school kids, but I went to three separate primary schools when I was a child myself and at all three of them the trousers were black, as were boys' trousers in my secondary school. So if I wasn't given any additional information I would assume black trousers would be the standard.

Mummyoflittledragon · 31/08/2022 10:09

LegoVsFoot · 31/08/2022 09:26

Im really baffled by this! Do you live near the school? Surely you have seen kids coming and going in their uniform? Or the uniform shop lady would have known when you went to buy the jumpers.

I bought the uniforms online from the website they shared and there were no trousers besides PE joggers on there. And there was a little blurb about shirts and jumpers and hair bobbles, but nothing about trousers.

So you got them from a uniform shop. They will probably exchange if you call them to explain the issue. Had you called the uniform shop in the first place, they would probably have told you colours. Thing is, it will cost you as much to pay the 2 lots of postage as to get a cheap pair from Asda. So your choice. But I wouldn’t send your ds in the navy ones.

Thenightwemet16 · 31/08/2022 10:09

Christmasiscominghohoho · 31/08/2022 09:17

What are you talking about?!

if you are in the UK then it’s the 6 week half term. The staff are not working in the office at the moment as they are on break.

You could of went up the school if they didn’t answer your emails.

Show quote history

What are you talking about?!

It's the six week summer holiday...! Half-term is the 1 or 2 week break HALF-WAY through each term.. So October, February and May...

WillPowerLite · 31/08/2022 10:09

I missed that the dc is in reception. No one will care. Send in black, then get uniform specifications direct from the school office. If they are very strict, buy grey.

He'll grow out of whatever you send him in by half-term, anyway.

RedHelenB · 31/08/2022 10:10

LegoVsFoot · 31/08/2022 09:21

I also can't believe the school doesn't have a phone number? Are you talking about a UK school?

Yes it is a central London school. There is no phone number listed on the website or Google, I couldn't believe it.

May as well name the school, someone on here will have a kid there no doubt if it's an outstanding school.

LittleBearPad · 31/08/2022 10:11

It seems incredible there is no uniform information on the website and incomprehensible that there is no phone number…

Return them and swap them for grey.

And don’t be one of those parents who doesn’t read information from the school.

SillySausage81 · 31/08/2022 10:12

I just have one question: how did the mum who told you grey M&S trousers know about it?

But yeah, if the school haven't published the info anywhere then they definitely can't enforce it.

YellowTreeHouse · 31/08/2022 10:14

What was the point of asking to check about the uniform if you had no intention of changing when finding out you were wrong?

YellowTreeHouse · 31/08/2022 10:14

SillySausage81 · 31/08/2022 10:12

I just have one question: how did the mum who told you grey M&S trousers know about it?

But yeah, if the school haven't published the info anywhere then they definitely can't enforce it.

OP said she has an older child in the school.

WhereshouldIgo · 31/08/2022 10:16

No state scho worth its salt is going to give a shit about what a 4/5 year old wears to the classroom.
Reception is called that for a reason, it’s more like an upgraded nursery class…

MercurialMonday · 31/08/2022 10:16

I'd risk a black pair of trousers - they may not be that strict really does depend on the school - blue not so much.

I have On other point I've notice last few years some parents referring to Easter break as half term - never yet Christmas or summer holidays - I just assumed they were confused or bit ignorant about half term break meaning midway through the term break - but DC say schools started doing this as well so fuck know's what's going on there.