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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell my husband when he stinks?

77 replies

Serialcatmum · 30/08/2022 22:56

Ive been married about 5 years. I adore him. He’s so much fun to be around, we spend lots of time together and do really fab activities together.

When I met my husband he was around 7 stone lighter, we have both gradually put weight on. He has always been very active, running, cycling, water sports, long hikes etc. but I never noticed him really smelling.

Recently the smell has been so bad I’ve had to start telling him. We were in Spain recently and I could see a family sit down next to us and then look around, I saw them register my smelly husband and a small child was holding their nose and then they moved away.

He is very clean. He showers everyday and puts fresh clothes on daily. His clothes are washed in a special washing liquid that is supposed to remove strong sport/ sweaty clothes, they are dried on the washing line. But he still stinks.

Yesterday he hung some shorts in the bedroom, he’s worn these shirts for a few hours that morning and they STUNK. It made my whole bedroom smell. I wasn’t happy. I told him them smell. He shrugged and said he didn’t know where to move them but he seemed annoyed with me. He said he couldn’t smell anything and I honestly jusy lost my temper and told him that they stink of horrible old farm yards and that I wasn’t having my whole bedroom smell like that. He was upset and told me it wasn’t very kind..

so, aibu to tell my husband that he/ his clothes stink?!

And any suggestions since he’s actually regular washing and putting in clean (yet smelly within 10 minutes) clothes every day?

OP posts:
Holidaylover20 · 30/08/2022 23:03

Is he actually washing his hair with shampoo daily? Wearing a decent deodorant?

Kanaloa · 30/08/2022 23:05

If he’s showering properly and putting clean clothes on every day yet they stink within 10 minutes (enough that others notice and move away) then this is a medical issue and he needs to see a GP.

Thesefeetaremadeforwalking · 30/08/2022 23:06

www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/sudden-change-in-body-odor

HTH

Aquamarine1029 · 30/08/2022 23:08

If he were my husband, he had best take this seriously and work diligently to find a solution because there is no way I could live with this.

TheFlis12345 · 30/08/2022 23:09

What does he wash with? A couple of years ago we noticed DH’s pits smelled of stale sweat even straight after a shower. He switched from shower gel to proper soap and it completely solved it.

figmaofmyimagination · 30/08/2022 23:10

If he’s genuinely clean and so are his clothes and he’s wearing a decent deodorant etc, I think it might be time to see the GP.

Tanfastic · 30/08/2022 23:12

What is the smell op? Is it a BO smell?

CostaLotta22 · 30/08/2022 23:13

Is he sweating a lot? What is the smell?

Can his clothes smell so badly after 10 minutes? And his body smell so badly that people are holding their noses? Something must be up.

Original poster
Serialcatmum · 30/08/2022 23:16

@TheFlis12345 he’s washing with a bar of dove soap as he has very sensitive skin and he has a shampoo that smells lovely. When he got out the shower this evening I was leaning on him and commented on how nice the shampoo was.. he didn’t smell of body odour then. He’s asleep now and he does Ed smell/ the bedding doesn’t smell from him as he showers before bed. But I think he will
smell again by 10am..

@Thesefeetaremadeforwalking thanks for the article. Ive just read it. It’s strange how he never had this smell before. Maybe it IS medical! Next time he’s up for a conversation and not feeling upset I’ll mention it in a supportive way, thanks.

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 30/08/2022 23:17

When I met my husband he was around 7 stone lighter,

That's a massive weight gain. Have you gained similarly?

I wonder if he's smelling because he is now bigger & just that there's more sweat / bacteria there.

Regardless, the weight gain is a significant issue and needs to be addressed.

Nanalisa60 · 30/08/2022 23:18

Old fashion bar of soap I buy shield for my husband. If that does not work maybe see a doctor

BobMortimersPocketMeat · 30/08/2022 23:19

Is he really washing properly in the shower? It does get harder once you get bigger and unless he’s genuinely washing/scrubbing at every bit of himself it could be that he’s never getting properly clean around the nethers in particular.

Or his clothes might be holding the smell and the warmth of his body is setting it off.

I’d rule both these things out and then go for a GP appointment. But doing nothing isn’t acceptable - you can’t live like this, and he can’t really want to.

Original poster
Serialcatmum · 30/08/2022 23:19

Yes he’s a very very sweaty person. He’s always been very sweaty. It’s not like usual arm pit body odour. It’s like it’s his whole body. I know this sounds so awful but it literally smells like a farm yard smell.

i need to clarify that I adore this man. He’s tidy and clean and a very nice man. I’m posting cos I’m baffled and sick to death of the smell.

OP posts:
Original poster
Serialcatmum · 30/08/2022 23:20

I wonder if it’s the clothes… he sleeps with just underwear and Ive never ever smelt him in bed/ in the bedding.

OP posts:
JacquelineCarlyle · 30/08/2022 23:21

If he's as clean as you say, then he needs to see a doctor to work out what's causing it as none of that sounds normal, even with the weight gain.

Hope you manage to get it sorted as this must be awful to live with.

figmaofmyimagination · 30/08/2022 23:22

I don’t think Dove is great for deeper cleansing tbh.

What about some antibacterial soap or shower gel for a few weeks? And maybe wash the clothes on a long hot cycle with vinegar… could he have a fungal infection somewhere, or be struggling to wipe himself?

JacquelineCarlyle · 30/08/2022 23:22

Maybe the clothes are holding onto the smell. Try a hot wash and also iron the armpits / smelly areas to kill the bacteria and see if that makes a difference.

TheCraicDealer · 30/08/2022 23:23

Well Dove isn’t actually soap, so that’s probably a major contributing factor.

Original poster
Serialcatmum · 30/08/2022 23:23

@EarringsandLipstick my eeihht fluctuates lots anyway but no I’ve not put 7 stone on. He had lost loads of weight before he met me (over 12 stone) so it’s not really that surprising he put a lot on to be fair.. it’s a work in progress getting it off again. We are currently at slimming world!!!

OP posts:
ColeensBoot · 30/08/2022 23:23

Try the Dettol laundry liquid? And washing at 40 degrees minimum.

If that doesn't work then go to the GP.

Original poster
Serialcatmum · 30/08/2022 23:25

Thanks for being so kind and making suggestions everyone.

I’ll get some prosper shower gel and look into some skin sensitive laundry soap so try on his clothes.

OP posts:
justasking111 · 30/08/2022 23:26

Serialcatmum · 30/08/2022 23:19

Yes he’s a very very sweaty person. He’s always been very sweaty. It’s not like usual arm pit body odour. It’s like it’s his whole body. I know this sounds so awful but it literally smells like a farm yard smell.

i need to clarify that I adore this man. He’s tidy and clean and a very nice man. I’m posting cos I’m baffled and sick to death of the smell.

Look it's not BO don't wait until he's in the right frame of mind, Tel him you're worried and get him to the GP asap

NoseyNellie · 30/08/2022 23:26

Yep, as PPs have said, sounds like a medical issue. Article here explains how a combination of factors can combine to cause smell:

www.healthline.com/health/intertrigo

if he’s too embarrassed/awkward to go to the GP, medicated soap followed by Daktarin powder (medicated talc) in any folds and crevices (has saved me from sweaty under boob rash for years now 😀)

I know the smell of which you speak and it is hard to live with - good luck

Luciferthethird · 30/08/2022 23:27

I just wanted to say I know this smell you describe, a colleague of mine smells the same and he would be larger in size himself so perhaps is related to the weight gain.

Eupraxia · 30/08/2022 23:28

It's not an easy conversation- but talk to him about ensuring he washes the foulds of fat properly.

That involves using one had to lift the fat and stretch out the fold, the other to apply soap. Repeat again for rinsing. Adequate drying between all rolls and folds if fat is also important. Take special care to dry bits he will find harder to reach - like all the way around the roll of fat at top of thigh where it mets his crotch - he'll need to reach all the way underneath