To tell my husband when he stinks?

[Serialcatmum]

Ive been married about 5 years. I adore him. He’s so much fun to be around, we spend lots of time together and do really fab activities together.

When I met my husband he was around 7 stone lighter, we have both gradually put weight on. He has always been very active, running, cycling, water sports, long hikes etc. but I never noticed him really smelling.

Recently the smell has been so bad I’ve had to start telling him. We were in Spain recently and I could see a family sit down next to us and then look around, I saw them register my smelly husband and a small child was holding their nose and then they moved away.

He is very clean. He showers everyday and puts fresh clothes on daily. His clothes are washed in a special washing liquid that is supposed to remove strong sport/ sweaty clothes, they are dried on the washing line. But he still stinks.

Yesterday he hung some shorts in the bedroom, he’s worn these shirts for a few hours that morning and they STUNK. It made my whole bedroom smell. I wasn’t happy. I told him them smell. He shrugged and said he didn’t know where to move them but he seemed annoyed with me. He said he couldn’t smell anything and I honestly jusy lost my temper and told him that they stink of horrible old farm yards and that I wasn’t having my whole bedroom smell like that. He was upset and told me it wasn’t very kind..

so, aibu to tell my husband that he/ his clothes stink?!

And any suggestions since he’s actually regular washing and putting in clean (yet smelly within 10 minutes) clothes every day?

What sort of weight gain was the 7 stone? I.e from 10 to 17 or from 17 to 22? Because the latter may mean he’s struggling to wash every nook and cranny.
Put his clothes through a few really hot washes (60 or 90). Washing at 40 may not be hot enough.
What sort of thing does he use to soap up in the shower? A loofah? Or just hands? He may want to try some ‘scrubby gloves’ to make sure he’s sloughing off dead skin.
Agree with pp though that he should see a GP to rule out any medical conditions.
Good luck!

Is it a bo smell ? Or like a mildewy smell?

I ask because my DH will sometimes develop a… wet dog (sorry!!) type smell. Like the sort of smell you get if towels are put away before they are properly dry.

it isn’t him, it’s the clothes ( usually T-shirts) and it will usually clear if they are washed in laundry vinegar, washed hot and line dried. Sometimes it’s too much and they need binning.

Also- one bad T-shirt will infect the whole load and make it all smell without the vinegar

i haven’t an explanation why, it’s grim, but I routine splash vinegar in all the T-shirt loads now!

If he's 7 stone heavier, that's hugely overweight. That level of obesity causes all sorts of hormonal imbalances, never mind all of the other ailments associated with obesity. I would very, very strongly suggest that he lose weight.

Hi all, hes a big chap anyway. So actually he’s not like ridiculous, even with the extra 7 stone. He’s doesn’t have folds or creases. .. I imagine it’s tricksier to reach places mind. He can run 10 miles and cycle 50.. I mean you can Imagine the smell after a big run!!! We are currently both signed up for a slimming class and are prioritising weight loss/ health.

but I think it may be from sticking in the clothes or hormonal/ medical or both…

I'd really recommend Dermol for in the shower while you wait for gp. You can buy it in pharmacies. It's designed for eczema sufferers and is anti microbial. I'd be surprised if it irritated him.

I voted yabu because I think you were pretty horrible to him in the situation you recounted.

I agree though that body odour that severe needs a gp appointment. You can buy extra strong anti perspirants (have a look on amazon) and it would be worth him trying these. If he's always been v sweaty then he could have hyperhydrosis which can be treated. I used to know someone who had it severely and they always smelled bad but it must have been awful for them.

Good luck with it - I hope you both get some answers

I'm going to add a different perspective here and ask if it could be hormonal with him. A few years ago, I was having night sweats and the smell was what you describe as barnyard. I smelt of wet hay, like what a rabbit or guinea pig hutch would smell like. I went through about 3 months of intermittent sweats. Haven't had it since and am convinced it was hornonal

Are the clothes he wears sport specific clothes? Like that sort of shiny material football shirts are made of and shorts like training pants?

I ask because DH stinks when he wears these. He runs, cycles and plays rugby and it's fucking foul. Plus they dry funny. The thicker ones take a lot of intense drying (IE over a radiator or a hot day) instead of sitting on the clothes rack.

If his diet isn't good, apparently this makes you smell worse when sweaty. This is DHs problem. He eats like a 15 year old but sweats like a 40 year old.

I tell him.

If you aren't smelling him in bed or on the bedclothes, I'd def mount an attack on his day clothes first. You probably don't need to worry about the sensitive skin issue for the laundry products for the initial attack - you can deal with that by multiple washes, which is likely to be necessary anyway.

I'd wash the clothes first on a long cycle with a strong laundry booster /soaker (eg the type for for nappies and sports clothes). Wash through again on a long cycle with his regular washing liquid, AND with a Dettol/antibac type laundry rinse instead of fabric softener. Then dry and give them all the smell test.

If they still smell, do another wash with soaker and/or antibac, or (genuinely) consider binning them and getting new ones to start again fresh.

But if they smell ok after the 2 washes, that's great! Either he can try wearing them straight away, or you can wash them through a third time with just his usual sensitive skin laundry wash first, to get rid of any traces of the anti bac liquid.

If that works and the clothes aren't as bad after he wears them the next time, that's fab and you hopefully don't need to do multiple separate washes each time in the future. But at that point you probably will want to figure out which brand of antibac laundry rinse he can tolerate so you can just put it through in the rinse cycle for every wash, so the smell doesn't build up again.

We've got sensitive skin here and sporty teens, and were having issues with smell and also recurring athlete's foot.

After trial and error we've found both a nappy wash booster and an antibac everyone can tolerate. So now I put all their gear through on a cycle that has a prewash (the booster powder), a regular wash (sensitive liquid) and an extra rinse cycle (with antibac in the fabric softener dispenser). It takes forever, but their skin is happy and the clothes smell fabulous rather than festy so big win all round!

Obviously if this all doesn't work and everything is immediately stinky straight away, then def look at the medical side of things. Best of luck x

Oh and as PP said, the drying of the clothes is really important. They need to be absolutely bone dry as any tiny bit of residual damp is an issue for smell/mildew/fungal growth

To clarify, folds and creases include armpits, butt crack and groin, I wasn’t just referring to belly rolls 😆

hi op, does your husband take any meds? Have any conditions? A few years ago my fiancé (now DH) had his medication changed and it made him smell. Never awful but enough for me to flag it to him and as embarrassing as it was he went back to the docs, and they realised his sweat glands had a massive reaction/super inflamed. If he’s never had a real problem before, I would suggest reaching out to a health care professional. does your husband realise he is smelling so strongly?

Please get him to the gp. He may need a full screening. Weight is an issue. There can be many reasons for bad odour. Medications, diabetes, thyroid problems even liver and kidneys. food rich in sulphur. He needs antiperspirants not deodorants. Excessive weight gain can cause health problems. This is not to scare you it is to make you realise that an offensive smell that makes people move tables is a concern that shouldn’t be ignored. He sounds clean. His clothes are clean. The home is clean. Get some professional advise.

The smell sounds like a medical condition. Get him a gp appointment
I'd recommend adding antibacterial solution to your clothes wash too

Agree per previous poster that Dove cleansing bar or whatever they call it isn’t actually soap, so that’s an easy one to switch.

I’ll get some prosper shower gel and look into some skin sensitive laundry soap so try on his clothes.

it’s proper bar soap that’s recommended OP, not shower gel. Dove is a bit like a shower gel in a bar.

I also think he needs to see the GP.

Dove isn't a soap but it is a detergent. It still cleans a body.

If he has sensitive skin soap bars might not be suitable.

Whatever sensitive body wash he uses will be fine, as long as it is used properly - it's just like washing your hands (needs to be 20 seconds of proper lathered rubbing for a proper clean then rinsed well) - doesn't matter whether it's soap / shower gel / whatever

Check if his Cli are properly clean gym stuff is the worst
smell clean out it on it get warm it stinks

if you iron his clothes do they smell when u out the hot iron on them

our washer take 3 1/2 hours you can use express button to shorten it to 1 hr40
the clothes still smell off the shorter wash

He needs to shower in the morning too if he’s sweaty and smelly. Once a day isn’t managing it unfortunately. I couldn’t get up without a shower this summer, a mix of heat and night sweats (peri). I too think hormonal issues and a trip to GP needed if it’s suddenly occurring. Good luck!

Is he showering every evening or every morning?
Showering at night, getting into bed and sweating all night without showering in the morning could be a factor.
Get him to shower each morning.

Does he shower in the morning too? I notice you say he showers before bed, and the sheets don't smell, but nothing about showering in the morning too. Might be worth a try.