Using holidays at work to cover children's birthdays

[Felix125]

This keeps cropping up at work.

The boss tends to have a winge every now & then at so many people putting in holidays last minute due to children's birthdays.

His argument is that birthdays tend to fall on the same day each year and so we should be able to put holidays in well in advance.

My argument is - is not the actual birthday day which causes the problem, but the day of the party. And the day of the party can fall 2 weeks either side. This day can also be affected by other children's parties in and around the same day (as you don't want to clash with others) and having to cancel and re-book party events last minute. This is why parents need to be flexible as the party draws near.

But I always feel as though he just doesn't get it - or is it me being unreasonable....?

Suffice to say he doesn't have any children - so i don't think he sees it from my point of view. And can't see an issue with organising a party on a day that another party is planned for a child in the same class. "Make your party better, then no-one will turn up for the other one" - I don't see as a good way to do things.

Cancellations do happen. Had to do one when I was rushed into hospital hours before the party should have begun. Thankfully another child’s parents came to the rescue and arranged a double party.

Are people putting in these requests to take their children to other peoples parties?

You're being unreasonable. He has a business to run. You plan parties in advance so should be able to give a few weeks notice at the very least.

Kids aren't allowed a day off school for their birthdays, so why can't parents just go to work and celebrate in the evening (like the rest of us do). Party at the weekend. Job done.

Im assuming the OP works at weekends.

Umm because lots of parents work weekends and evenings?

I expect he doesn’t “get it” because it isn’t a thing. I am another that has never encountered last minute leave requests for children’s birthday parties.

After Reception surely you know which children have birthdays around the time of yours? Then you can liaise with the other parents if needed? That's what we did, and it was only relevant for about 3 years anyway.

It sounds like you need to be more organised OP. You can pick the day for your kids party a few months in advance and send out invites before anyone else organises a do on the same day.

He has a business to run. Last minute requests for annual leave can be difficult to accommodate, regardless of the reason.

and as a grown up boss he can say "no"? and remind everyone to plan better?

We usually book the party at least 4-6 weeks ahead, I'd potentially do more in your position if work is going to get shirty. Is that still too short notice for your boss?

A manager who actually thinks holidays/leave by their teams is something to plan properly?

How welcome. I'm fed up with bad holiday planning being an excuse businesses use for poor customer service.

This day can also be affected by other children's parties in and around the same day (as you don't want to clash with others) and having to cancel and re-book party events last minute
Book the party in really early, so you don't have to worry about "clashes" because you got there first. Book it 8 weeks ahead and hand out invites if you have to, and book annual leave at the same time.

I've never heard of party events being re-booked last minute, maybe if the birthday child was ill, but that's hardly a common occurrence and surely the re-booked event would need to be a few weeks away in order to send out new invites etc.

I'm another who has never come across this scenario.
We expect holidays to be booked well in advance , it makes life easier for everyone.

Birthdays TEND to fall on the same day each year?

to be fair i have 2 friends who gave birth on 29th February and they might have the birthday on 28th Feb, 29th Feb or 1st March.

Depends how short notice. I'm usually pretty flexible around holiday/leave, but if someone comes to me with a week's notice saying they need the day off for a birthday party, yeah I'm not going to be impressed. Last I checked kid's birthday parties aren't a surprise for the parents.

If it's for one day, and they've given the appropriate notice, does it matter if it's for a party? It could be for a childrens doctors appointment, or a lunch with friends like I often take a day off for (no children). Sounds like he just likes to moan at parents.

wow - I didn't expect so many replies!!!!

All the holidays are put in as per guidelines and were talking maybe 2-3 weeks before the party is booked. Nothing last minute as I would expect them to get knocked back.

My issue is that the boss is expecting us to put the same day in well in advance - like 1 year in advance.

My argument is you can't do that as you don't know when the party is - so you need a bit of flexibility - so you don't clash with others or book a day when the football pitches turn out to be unavailable nearer the time.

Of course works comes first and i would not expect him to run under strength due to a kids party.

That's my issue - maybe not as short as a weeks notice - maybe a month or so.

But, for me the actual birthday day isn't that important - its the day when the party has been arranged is where you need 'all hands on deck' from both parents/family etc etc

Well, you could compromise by putting the date in 3 months in advance.

Then when he mentions it just ask "was it not within permitted times to request?". "well then why does it matter what it's booked for, I just need that Saturday off"

I can’t decide who is weirder, you and your colleagues for constantly rearranging kids birthday parties or your manager for insisting you book leave a year in advance.

I once had my leave cancelled because of a parent wanting to rearrange their kids birthday party at short notice (apparently because it clashed with a popular kid’s and their kid would have only 15 friends as opposed to four hundred or whatever) - I was so unimpressed but my parent colleagues said it was perfectly normal! I feel vindicated by the responses to this thread.

Its not happening all the time this by the way - just odd occasions as the years go on. And things normally get sorted out so everyone's happy.

Just wondered if others have similar experiences.

The parties aren't constantly being re-arranged - just every now and then. something happens and one party has to move which has a knock on effect.

I’ve never known this to be a issue where I’ve worked , your boss is right birthdays fall on the same day each year and even it’s a party surely they are planned in advance?. I’d be annoyed too why is it last minute?

Pressed send to soon
1 year I’m advance is unreasonable though , a few weeks for any annual leave for whatever reason should suffice , I’d be annoyed asking me what leave I am to take next august.

I'm with your boss. Book the actual birthday off and have the party at the weekend.