Using holidays at work to cover children's birthdays

[Felix125]

This keeps cropping up at work.

The boss tends to have a winge every now & then at so many people putting in holidays last minute due to children's birthdays.

His argument is that birthdays tend to fall on the same day each year and so we should be able to put holidays in well in advance.

My argument is - is not the actual birthday day which causes the problem, but the day of the party. And the day of the party can fall 2 weeks either side. This day can also be affected by other children's parties in and around the same day (as you don't want to clash with others) and having to cancel and re-book party events last minute. This is why parents need to be flexible as the party draws near.

But I always feel as though he just doesn't get it - or is it me being unreasonable....?

Suffice to say he doesn't have any children - so i don't think he sees it from my point of view. And can't see an issue with organising a party on a day that another party is planned for a child in the same class. "Make your party better, then no-one will turn up for the other one" - I don't see as a good way to do things.

For example DS' birthday is in December, it's on a Tuesday this year, I've not booked anything yet but know we will do something the weekend before so if I had to book leave for a weekend I would've already done it

Also:

And the day of the party can fall 2 weeks either side. This day can also be affected by other children's parties in and around the same day (as you don't want to clash with others) and having to cancel and re-book party events last minute. This is why parents need to be flexible as the party draws near.

I have literally never done this. I would not change the date of a party last minute just because it clashed with another. Apart from anything else, it would probably mean losing deposits. This is another argument for getting invites out early.

Ive never heard of last minute party changes. Normally you book a venue and send out invites a few weeks in advance and then do the party.

This is mad. I've never heard of anyone, let alone whole groups of people, having this problem.

You book a date for when you are not scheduled to work. You don't change the date after booking. It's simple.

How last minute are you all putting the requests in?

If it's less than a week or twos notice I can see why they're a bit pissed about it

Who cancels and rebooks kids parties?? You send out invites at least 3 weeks beforehand, usually more, and that’s your party. If I were your boss I’d be out to dinner saying to my friends ‘ and THEN she said you don’t know when your own child’s birthday party will be until a week before. I kid you not- and she looks at me like I’m the crazy unreasonable one. Pass the wine, I don’t get paid enough for this shit.’

TBF I don't think people realise how many people get their shifts really late.

DS never knows when he's going to be free until the last minute. If there's something important (like a party) he needs to book the day off, it can't be scheduled for a day (or even an evening) he's not working because he won't know until the week before.

It's a horrible way to live, but this is his 3rd employer in this industry and whilst a lot of them say they do schedules 2 weeks in advance, they're often late.

Suffice to say he doesn't have any children - so i don't think he sees it from my point of view.

Suffice to say you don't run an business so you don't see it from his point of view either. Pick a day and stick to it. If it means booking well in advance then that's what you do.

I dont get the issue, its annual leave- how far in advance does he need the request?

How short notice are you talking? I’ve never cancelled a rebooked a kids party. Round here, the invites mostly come months in advance

I’ve never taken a day off for my children’s birthdays. Neither has my DH.

Another one who has never heard of this being an issue in any workplace.

I've only taken the day off if I've wanted to bake a cake myself rather than buying one.

@KnowtheBand

That's a good point & I hadn't realised that. That's very challenging for family life.

I've been managing staff for years, and have never once had someone ask me for time off for a kids' party, let alone identified this as a recurring problem. I've also never taken time off for a kids' party myself.

I assume you work weekends if this is a persistent issue. If your boss makes it awkward, can't you just plan ahead and fix the date in advance?

Really? I've never heard of people taking holiday for a kids' birthday party! Unless your normally work over the weekend, I don't know why you would. And even then I don't see any good reason not to book it well in advance.

I also agree with the others that provided you are following the leave booking policy, then the boss has no reason to complain. However, if you are using birthday parties as a reason to ask for an exception to the policy, then I am not surprised he is irritated!

@KnowtheBand thats fair, but it doesn’t seem to be the problem here. It’s not the shift schedule, but the party date that the parents don’t seem to know until they have a blinding revelation the week before that 4pm Saturday is a go 🤷‍♀️

So you throw birthday parties with other kids invited at less than a weeks notice and have people turn up?

"His argument is that birthdays tend to fall on the same day each year and so we should be able to put holidays in well in advance."

Is he also asking you to put your sick note well in advance? Maybe his micromanagement skills need improving if he can't cope with (I guess) 2 weeks holiday notice. It's for birthday party, not trip around the world FGS.

I work shifts including weekends and plan my child's party quite far in advance so I can ensure I am off and we can book the date we want. I coordinate with other parents who have kids with birthdays close to DS' so our plans don't clash. This isn't difficult so your boss is not being unreasonable

Not been a problem here either - but then I have tended to book my dcs parties in advance on days they are off school and both DH and I are not due to be at work. He does sometimes have to work weekends, so when planning a party, I plan round that. Also tend to ask the one or two key friends parents to confirm they are free on x date then book the party and if it ends up clashing with someone else’s, so be it.

also when kids are little it’s normal to have one than one party in a day…

The boss tends to have a winge every now & then at so many people putting in holidays last minute due to children's birthdays.

Sounds like this issue is more with the holidays being last minute than for being for children’s birthday’s tbh. How last minute are we talking? Surely you know well in advance of your own child’s birthday party? If something else clashes you pick another date and book that off? Am I missing something here? Even weekend workers are entitled to holidays but if you’re putting them in with a weeks notice I’d be annoyed too.

So your child has their birthday party and you would happily work through it?

Are there lots of birthdays around the same time? I’ve never experienced this but my twos birthdays didn’t really overlap. If you know the kids who share your dc’s birthday could you get together with the parents and plan a joint party? That way there will be no double booking.

Surely the workplace has a policy about how far in advance someone should book a holiday. If people are complying with that then it doesn't matter what the reason is. If people are trying to book holidays outside of the normal timescales because they have booked their kids party then thats there issue. As with anything you shouldn't book a holiday or whatever before making sure you can have the time off work.