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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what’s a reasonable amount of time to pay someone for a ticket?

94 replies

youmademehatethiscity · 30/08/2022 11:16

I’ve bought 5 tickets (1 for myself) and we all agreed to go, we all agreed the price, they knew I was going to buy them. It’s a seated event so made sense.

What a reasonable amount of time to pay someone back?

OP posts:
KnowtheBand · 30/08/2022 13:58

I don't understand why OP should be expected to wait at all either. She's paid only to make the transaction easier, it's not a loan. If you haven't got the money when the tickets need buying you can't afford to go.

If you need a loan, that's a completely separate thing that needs to be discussed, not assumed.

2bazookas · 30/08/2022 14:07

Depends on history of how your group operates?

For less well known people, I'd expect to be paid at some point before the event. For family /old and trusted friends the timescale could be long after the event. Or never if the debt was cancelled out by later generosity/ benefits.

Between us (retirees, financially comfortable) and our adult children ( working, highly paid), financial trust is absolute and we all regard our combined assets and skills as shared family benefits . No accounts are kept.

SunshineLoving · 30/08/2022 14:14

Put a message in the chat 'please pay me back by tonight if you haven't already'. If people are really rude enough to not pay by tonight, then tomorrow morning, name them in the chat e.g. 'Katie and Claire, still waiting on the money from you'.

Very unreasonable to not pay you straight away or in the first few days. And to keep reading the messages and not paying...wtf.

Don't ever buy tickets on behalf of these people again. Friends don't treat you like this.

beachcitygirl · 30/08/2022 14:15

I'd put a message today.
Bright & breezy

"Hi all, if I haven't received cash for your ticket by 9am tomorrow - I'll assume you don't want it anymore & sell it on"

KnowtheBand · 30/08/2022 14:20

beachcitygirl · 30/08/2022 14:15

I'd put a message today.
Bright & breezy

"Hi all, if I haven't received cash for your ticket by 9am tomorrow - I'll assume you don't want it anymore & sell it on"

I really wouldn't do that unless you know they're easily sold. IME people who don't pay promptly have often changed their mind about going.

Meraas · 30/08/2022 14:21

As soon as they've received their ticket via email, they should pay you within 24 hours.

I've never had to chase my friends for money, they have paid without prompting.

My family? A bit more entitled I'm afraid.

Meraas · 30/08/2022 14:22

beachcitygirl · 30/08/2022 14:15

I'd put a message today.
Bright & breezy

"Hi all, if I haven't received cash for your ticket by 9am tomorrow - I'll assume you don't want it anymore & sell it on"

Yeah, you really don't want the responsibility of selling them on.

forrestgreen · 30/08/2022 14:28

Group chat

'
EVENT NAME
Thanks Sue for sending the money straight over. I need money of x & y today please. I don't like having to ask, but everyone wanted to go and we've just had payday. I've some bills due to go out and need your money. Thanks!'

forrestgreen · 30/08/2022 14:28

Grr off!

Original poster
youmademehatethiscity · 30/08/2022 14:45

I reminded one, as she messaged me anyway and I said only x person has paid so far. She’s read it and still not transferred the money 😅 that was maybe an hour ago.

This is gonna be a struggle

OP posts:
LookItsMeAgain · 30/08/2022 14:49

Winniethewheeze · 30/08/2022 13:53

But you can't just come out of the blue with a really arsey message like that. The OP didn't mention any kind of time frame to them before about payment, so she needs to give them a nudge first and if they still don't pay up, she can send something a bit more blunt.

Show quote history

It's really not an arsey message as you call it.

These are people who said that they wanted to go to this concert/event/gig, agreed when the OP was paying for their ticket to go to this concert/event/gig and now haven't coughed up even though they were paid last week.

I realise that the cost of living crisis has hit lots and lots of people but if you agree to go to a concert and get someone to buy you a ticket but you don't repay them, then you, all of a sudden become a CFer and the person who bought the ticket but was too polite to say anything becomes a sucker.

Booklover3 · 30/08/2022 14:51

It’s quite rude isn’t it? If you were buying the tickets and I couldn’t afford to pay until X date I would have told you before you bought them.

What would piss me off is the silence. They could at least message and tell you what’s going on!

GoAround · 30/08/2022 14:59

I recently bought tickets for a group of 5. I sent my bank details but also said that because I used my credit card, it was ok to pay back on pay day if easier (I know one friend is struggling a bit but didn’t want to single her out). They all paid me back within 24 hours.

Blowthemandown · 30/08/2022 15:23

@youmademehatethiscity even though you reminded one, just reply all and say ‘only one of you has paid me and I’m almost £100 out of pocket so please can the rest of you reimburse me ASAP? Amount per person inc all booking fees etc is £xx.xx. Sorry to nag, thanks in advance xx’

Brefugee · 30/08/2022 15:29

how is it arsey to ask for money for tickets to an event you've all agreed to buy tickets for.

And yes, agree that to say you'll sell them on may be shooting yourself in the foot.
Give them a deadline (only in your head if you want) then if they haven't paid try to sell the tickets (but don't tell them and if they complain say you assumed they had changed their minds, oh sorry, never mind)

As soon as they've received their ticket via email, they should pay you within 24 hours.

never ever give them the tickets before you have the money

mast0650 · 30/08/2022 15:33

Depends on the price of the tickets on whether the person buying them can comfortably afford to carry the cost. Most people will pay within a week or so, which I think is reasonable. But it's not very expensive and happening within a month or two then we may just settle up on the evening.

glamourousindierockandroll · 30/08/2022 15:35

At the next pay day at the latest.

GlueyMooey · 30/08/2022 15:39

They should pay ASAP. Don't be embarrassed about asking. You could ask the person who has paid to back you up.

Brefugee · 30/08/2022 15:39

I'm curious now (because i recently bought a bunch of tickets for people and had all the money back, with thanks and promises of beer, within 24 hours) why people think it's ok to pay the person back on the next payday when this has clearly not been discussed.

How is it ok to just blithely assume your friend should suck up the opportunity costs of buying your tickets then waiting until you think you can afford it, without first agreeing exactly that?

Original poster
youmademehatethiscity · 30/08/2022 15:43

mast0650 · 30/08/2022 15:33

Depends on the price of the tickets on whether the person buying them can comfortably afford to carry the cost. Most people will pay within a week or so, which I think is reasonable. But it's not very expensive and happening within a month or two then we may just settle up on the evening.

Really? I don’t see it as if someone can comfortably afford to pay or not. If someone has purchased something for that where you said you wanted to go and knew the price upfront then you should pay back asap. its not your money to be so lax with and do we ever really know anyones financial situation?

OP posts:
whenwillthemadnessend · 30/08/2022 15:43

Next time get the money upfront before booking.

If I can't 100% trust the person I'd do that

uncomfortablydumb53 · 30/08/2022 15:43

Personally I'd transfer the money immediately via online banking
Your friends are cheeky leaving it a week and STILL not replying to your message
I'd put one message on group chat saying you need the money by tomorrow otherwise you'll be charged interest on your CC( even if you won't be, they owe you the money.
If still no response I would message the non payers immediate saying if they don't pay you will have to sell to recoup your costs
There are legit selling sites to use, not Viagogo!

mast0650 · 30/08/2022 15:52

Really? I don’t see it as if someone can comfortably afford to pay or not. If someone has purchased something for that where you said you wanted to go and knew the price upfront then you should pay back asap. its not your money to be so lax with and do we ever really know anyones financial situation?

My close friends and I trust each other and are pretty relaxed about money. I normally do pay straight away, but I wouldn't be worried if someone else didn't. I know they will pay eventually and it's not an issue. I wouldn't remind them about paying until the night of. At which point they might just buy dinner and we call it quits!

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 30/08/2022 15:56

Within 24 hours unless otherwise agreed. That's plenty of time for people to find a suitable moment to access internet banking etc allowing for some people not being app based or being in the middle of something when you first ask. Also allows for some transfers taking longer.

I have no issue if someone tells me before they book that they won't be able to pay until payday or need to give me cash when they see me but it is polite to agree that in advance not leave you waiting

amicissimma · 30/08/2022 16:02

Unless agreed in advance, I expect to pay as soon as I get the message that the booking is made, or as soon as I can get online to do it.

The person doing the booking has already put herself out for me, I don't expect her to do any chasing or worrying on top of that.