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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Nephew not talking

101 replies

KMD88 · 29/08/2022 20:51

My daughter is 21 months and is very advanced with her speech.

My nephew is 2 next month and he isn't saying any words he makes sounds and babbling noises mainly 'eek''ah' etc but that is all.

My sister doesn't seem concerned that he isn't saying a single word and thinks it's cute....should I say something to her? She can be very difficult so I'm wary about upsetting her. But I’d have thought she would realise?

I know all children are different but I'm worried for him. He goes to nursery too and I'd have thought they would have mentioned something but they haven't!

OP posts:

Randomness12 · 29/08/2022 20:54

It’s very unlikely she hasn’t noticed, or that nursery haven’t said anything. She probably just doesn’t want to discuss it with you.

Don't say anything.

Canyousewcushions · 29/08/2022 20:57

Your first statement on here is that your child is "very advanced with her speech", which was not even the slightest bit relevant to the rest of the thread.

Why do you think she'd even want discuss her concerns with someone who is clearly competitive and comparing apples and pears?

Rainbowcat99 · 29/08/2022 20:58

The fact that you open the post by boasting about how "advanced" your dd is makes me think that you're not the person to be tackling this. Your sibling may well be concerned about him but doesn't want to get into comparisons between the two cousins.
If he's at nursery, they will guide her as will the health visitor.
Keep your nose out and steer clear of rubbing her face in it about how "advanced" your dd is.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 29/08/2022 20:58

Say nothing. Nursery and/or the health visitor will bring it up if it’s a problem.

lanthanum · 29/08/2022 20:58

It's early days yet, and speech varies a great deal. No need to worry yet.

(I was very late speaking, but very early reading.)

SunshineClouds1 · 29/08/2022 21:00

It's still early days.

My son had no speech at 2. HV and nursery helped us and told which help etc he would need.
Whilst it's not the end of the world we didn't tell many people as it's just not really something that we thought we needed to announce.

Thehop · 29/08/2022 21:01

He’ll do something quicker than your daughter, at some point. They’re all different.

don’t say anything.

chillipenguin · 29/08/2022 21:02

Don't you worry about it. The HV will pick up on it. Don't go on about how advanced your kid is either.

MagsR2356 · 29/08/2022 21:02

Mine didn’t speak until nearly age three
but read books not long after and is now (according to teachers) in the top 3% of a class of 30 and is very very bright (teachers words) so I’d not worry unless there’s other more worrying signs and personally I don’t think it’s any of your business to say anything and it’s not helpful or to compare your young children with each other.

GoldenSpiral · 29/08/2022 21:03

Blergh. You sound so smug.

She doesn't need you to point out the obvious.

AliceW89 · 29/08/2022 21:04

My daughter is 21 months and is very advanced with her speech.

And this was necessary to mention on this thread because…?

Underhisi · 29/08/2022 21:05

Your first ( not relevant) sentence is the reason why she doesn't want to discuss it with you.
Lack of speech at this point is not that big an issue. The concerns would be if he didn't understand speech and wasn't communicating in other ways.

SunshineClouds1 · 29/08/2022 21:05

She can be very difficult so I'm wary about upsetting her. But I’d have thought she would realise?

Just want to add to this.

She will know, she will be worried, more worried than you.

So just leave her. She'll get support.

I wouldn't flaunt your Dd in her face either about how advanced she is.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 29/08/2022 21:06

Mine didn’t speak until 2 1/2.

He was later diagnosed with dyslexia which they thought hindered his speech.

Hes 28 now and a journalist. So they shake out fine.

DD was chattering away at 18 months and could have proper full on conversations at 2.

Somethingsnappy · 29/08/2022 21:07

How sure are you that he's not speaking? Has your sister said so? Just that my pil said the same about one of my kids at 2, and yet he was pretty advanced with his speech, talking in sentences etc, but he was very quiet and mumbly, and didn't speak much to anyone but his parents. They still don't believe me that he was talking then!

FabFitFifties · 29/08/2022 21:09

Health Visitor will raise this with her - she might not choose to discuss it though.

BobbysGirly · 29/08/2022 21:10

Your nearly 2 year old nephews speech has nothing at all to do with you!

MrsTimRiggins · 29/08/2022 21:13

The last thing she’ll want is for you to interject with your smug attitude and faux concern. He’ll talk when he’s ready. Surely you know all children develop at different rates… you’re just so lucky to have a child prodigy on your hands.

Annieisalright · 29/08/2022 21:17

So many defensive posters on this one

OP - the nursery would have raised it with her if it was a concern to them

She might just be in denial or wanting not to talk about it with other parents atm

ldontWanna · 29/08/2022 21:18

So there's (at least) one parent involved,nursery staff, health visitor but you think that it's up to you to say something? No one else will notice or pick up on it?

As an aside, DD was the same at 2. Fairly behind at 3 . Got a referral for SALT before reception. They said wait 6 months and come back, by then she was average and no concern from her new teacher.

Now she's y6 and top of the class.

Sam478 · 29/08/2022 21:20

My son was only saying 3 words at 22 months he’s not long turned 2 and the improvement in the last 6 weeks is huge. I was really worried but think once they start getting the hang of it they just go from leaps and bounds.

I don’t think it will help worrying her, I phoned the health visitor upset about this and she just advised wait until the 2 year review and will refer them then if no improvement.

GettingStuffed · 29/08/2022 21:21

My son started talking just before his third birthday and it was,about the same time as the health visitor started making comments about referring him for speech therapy. He started of with a full sentence and is doing a masters this year. Late speech doesn't mean anything's wrong.

Original poster

KMD88 · 29/08/2022 21:21

I have NEVER flaunted my daughter in her face or BOASTED about her for those of you who are quick to make such incorrect judgements. I would never do that, I know all children are different.

I was just worried for him and her if there was something that we could be doing to help him.

Thank you to those posters who have given reassuring comments.

OP posts:

BakedTattie · 29/08/2022 21:22

My son didn’t talk until he was 4!

she will be aware

itsthesound · 29/08/2022 21:22

My son didn't say much at 2. More single words. He started talking more around 3, but even at 5.5 his speech isn't perfect, more mispronouncing some words but he's hitting all his targets at school and can read fine.
My daughter said full complex sentences at 2 years old.
They are all different. In my opinion of SALT, at the age of 2 as long as their understanding is fine then they don't do anything.

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