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Original poster

Nephew not talking

101 replies

KMD88 · 29/08/2022 20:51

My daughter is 21 months and is very advanced with her speech.

My nephew is 2 next month and he isn't saying any words he makes sounds and babbling noises mainly 'eek''ah' etc but that is all.

My sister doesn't seem concerned that he isn't saying a single word and thinks it's cute....should I say something to her? She can be very difficult so I'm wary about upsetting her. But I’d have thought she would realise?

I know all children are different but I'm worried for him. He goes to nursery too and I'd have thought they would have mentioned something but they haven't!

OP posts:
scrivette · 29/08/2022 21:23

DS1 only said a couple of words at 2, then started to say loads soon afterwards. I wooden worry, all children develop at different stages and if there is a problem it will be picked up at nursery.

itsthesound · 29/08/2022 21:24

At speech therapy at 2.5 my son was asked questions like "can you find the car?" and "can you put the dolly in bed?" As he could follow directions they signed him off.
They are more worried if understanding isn't there.

WonderingWanda · 29/08/2022 21:26

Lots of people are being quite rude to you op. I think your comment about your daughter is relevant because you are essentially asking if it is still in the normal range to not be talking by a certain age. I think nursary will definitely raise it with your sister if they think it is a concern, they will see a lot of children and be well placed to identify when a child is behind.

Annaritanna · 29/08/2022 21:28

She knows it already

BeanieTeen · 29/08/2022 21:28

I think the general rule is that if by the age of two they make no effort to talk then it needs further investigating. So he’s got time. If he goes to nursery and things don’t improve I’m sure they’ll flag it, you don’t need to get involved.

Weird to lead this with you’re daughters speech being ‘advanced’. How is that relevant to your nephew?

kimchifox · 29/08/2022 21:28

I have yet to meet a mother who welcomed other people (not professionals) "mentioning" anything to do with a child's development. Unless she asks I wouldn't say anything.

Ginandcrispsarebliss · 29/08/2022 21:29

My DS only spoke a few words until he was 4. Nursery was concerned because he would be starting school. (August baby). They said he was very sociable but worried with his speech. He had a few sessions with a speech therapist but starting school was brilliant for him. My DS was signed off with the speech therapist after a couple of months of sessions. He communicated with his friends and I thrived in Reception class. My DS is 11 now and he doesn't stop talking.

Tiredalwaystired · 29/08/2022 21:31

We were in the same situation as you almost exactly. I was v worried about my nephew as he had no speech at all at 2.5. .

Although I voiced concerns to my husband (it was his brothers son) I could never had said anything to my sister in law - she was highly sensitive to the difference in our kids abilities and would have been threatened by any questioning on my part, no matter how well meaning.

At three he was diagnosed with autism. However he is now an extremely chatty 13 year old, albeit with other challenges.

I think if I had said anything all it would have done is cause family rifts as they also needed to absorb the news of his diagnosis. They really weren’t ready to see it any earlier than they did.

somethinggotmestarted · 29/08/2022 21:32

What will you say to her that she doesn't already know?

Ineedsleepandcoffee · 29/08/2022 21:33

Do not say anything to her, even if it isn't your intention, it is likely to come across as a comparison with your daughter. Just be there to support your sister and play and chat to your nephew.
He's still young and children develop at their own pace, but if his speech doesn't develop any in the next few months, it well likely be picked up.
My daughter didn't start talking until after she turned 3. She was referred to speech and language therapy but to be honest, they didn't do all that much, just encouraged lots of repetition.

milesmachine · 29/08/2022 21:34

My DS at 2 years said 'aye' for yes (we're in London) and that was it. No other words

He's 2 and 7 months now and speaking in sentences with no speech therapy or intervention

It takes some children longer.

Nursery will be observing, her HV will pick it up in his 2 year review

Trust me, she knows. She probably just doesn't want to discuss it with her sister who has an advanced talker and seems to want to interfere.

chillipenguin · 29/08/2022 21:35

My DC is a late talker. I have a relative who had a child just before me, their child always seemed ahead and was a super advanced talker which did get me down and worried about my own DC. So I was aware of it. If they'd turned round and started saying they were worried then frankly I would have bitten their head off as it was hard enough with other people querying the differences.

As it is my DC is now catching up but is more advanced in other areas such as fine motor skills.

It is just the way kids are. Back off unless mum or dad mention it to you.

Beees · 29/08/2022 21:36

Lots of people are being quite rude to you op. I think your comment about your daughter is relevant because you are essentially asking if it is still in the normal range to not be talking by a certain age.

The mere fact the OP knows her child is advanced in speech already shows she knows that this is indeed well within the normal range for a child of that age.

As others have said it comes across as very smug and the faux naivety is just daft. I suspect the OPs sister has already picked up on the fact her niece can speak so well and will have discussed her sons lack of speech with professionals such as the nursery staff and health visitor.

She doesn't need the OP helping or stepping in to give support I'm sure she's quite capable of getting her child help should he need it.

newyearsresolurion · 29/08/2022 21:36

You don't compare babies full stop

CathyorClaire · 29/08/2022 21:37

The overwhelming probability is that he'll be fine.

Ds who doesn't shut up these days didn't say much at 2 but was expert in working out toys his speaking friend chucked across the room in frustrated disgust.

They can't do everything at once.

Cupofteaonesugar · 29/08/2022 21:38

Both of my sons have had a speech delay.
My eldest caught up and now reads, spells and talks as expected ag his age. My youngest had only just started trying to speak at 27 months.

You don't need to say anything.
She will be aware.
No speech at 2 years isn't necessarily anything to be concerned about. Give him chance.

cansu · 29/08/2022 21:39

Mind your own business. Of course she has noticed. The professionals would do nothing other than monitor in any case.

sheepandcaravan · 29/08/2022 21:40

Agree with everyone.

As an example, this was my dd in lockdown, friend mentioned it on FaceTime.... her child chatting away. Nothing I could do about it, hey I couldn't even get a HV to visit a newborn, never mind check on slow speech. Just upset me.

She got to about 2.5 and just spoke, fluently. Interesting my mum says I was the same. Both now 3.5, dd1 is way, way more comprehensive. They will level out.

I also have dd2, 18 months, chattering like friends dd was, quite unsettling! Seems so wee.

You won't be telling her anything she doesn't know, just causing upset.

Cupofteaonesugar · 29/08/2022 21:40

Also just to note, my sister has a son 2 months older then mine. He is extremely advanced, she knows it so do we all... very proud fo him.
She's never commented on my sons delay. She has always made a fuss of his little steps and encouraged me.
That will go MUCH further then you commenting on the delay.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 29/08/2022 21:41

Say nothing - it is normal to find big differences in speech development at this age and it almost always evens itself out in a year or so.

NCHammer2022 · 29/08/2022 21:41

Your daughter being “advanced” is irrelevant to this situation (except perhaps for the fact it explains why your sister does not want to discuss her child with you).

If there’s an issue, there are enough other adults involved in this child’s life to address it with her.

Onlystar · 29/08/2022 21:41

If you were genuinely concerned, you would not have made reference to your daughters speech advanced.

focus on yourself. And stop trying to diagnose issues with other peoples children whilst boasting about your own

x2boys · 29/08/2022 21:43

If there is an issue she will know about it my 12 year old is still non verbal he has severe autism and learning disabilities, it's not helpful to have " concerned relatives"

chillipenguin · 29/08/2022 21:44

That's the other thing. Due to lockdown a lot of the kids aparantly are a little behind but they will catch up.

ChronicOverthinkr · 29/08/2022 21:48

So why did you mention your daughter as the first sentence? You may not think you’re boasting but you are.