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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be embarrassed, so embarrassed ?

93 replies

DarkNights88 · 29/08/2022 18:49

Went on a work night out on Saturday. The whole team. It was at one of the colleagues homes.
Got very drunk. Very emotional and then had a headache and got tearful. My very motherly colleague sat in the other room with me stroking my hair while I cried and I then fell asleep while waiting for DH to come and collect me. Aibu to be so embarrassed and worried about work tomorrow?

OP posts:
fancytulip · 29/08/2022 21:16

Oh, that's sweet. It's lovely she cared. Better than getting drunk and lairy and naked or shagging a married colleague or some such. I'd say you got off lightly?

Ineedsleepandcoffee · 29/08/2022 21:16

She's obviously a caring person to sit with you so in all likelihood she will be tactful about it, so it's just a case of touching it out now. Your stomach will probably be in knots all day tomorrow but once it's done future days will be easier.

Feelfreetocallme · 29/08/2022 21:20

We’ve all done stupid shit when drunk. Nobody will care. Not like you got drunk and punched someone (actually happened at previous work party of mine).

Theendofnature · 29/08/2022 21:24

I think

daisychain01 · 29/08/2022 21:25

DarkNights88 · 29/08/2022 19:35

I think it's the coming across immature and the intimacy that's bothered me more. Don't get me wrong, I needed it, but embarrassed to have needed it if that makes sense. Just the thought of her being there with me for so long cuddling me like a young kid and stroking my hair, telling me I was going to be ok is just mortifying to me. This is not what I am like normally and I would have been fine had I not drunk the way I did.
I know people have done worse, need to keep telling myself that.

I get you OP.

Being vulnerable and in front of a work colleague is uncomfortable the next day and having to go to work and be back to being professional again.

I never go on work do's because I am not good at opening up to people I then have to work with or manage. So I keep those two worlds very separate, way easier than having to uncurl my toes Smile

Gagaandgag · 29/08/2022 21:30

Witchlight · 29/08/2022 19:21

Buy your colleague a bunch of flowers (or plant) as a thank you to thank her for being so kind and spending so much of her evening supporting you. Move on, but I would always remember her kindness!

Yes - this is perfect!

DonnyBurrito · 29/08/2022 21:39

You were vulnerable with another adult and that's okay! She's been lovely about it, she cares about you clearly. You've got a real friend there. Don't ruin that by making her feel awkward about it with your awkwardness! Make a light joke about it if it's appropriate, and move on. Maybe invite her to do something after work one day. Go for a meal? Maybe you could open up to her about what's making you sad, kind older women tend to have a lot of wisdom.

She seems to care about you and that's rare. Chill and accept that you are human 💐And have a berocca.

LucilleBluth · 29/08/2022 21:39

On my last works night out I told a story about my nipples, accused a colleague who was listening to the story of having three nipples and told my boss that I wasn’t that drunk actually. You’ll be fine.

muddlingthrou · 29/08/2022 21:42

Honestly, I think it's sweet. Your colleague wouldn't have done that unless she had some compassion for you. Accept it as just one of those things and laugh at yourself for getting a bit too tipsy.

MaggieFS · 29/08/2022 21:42

Yep. I'd be embarrassed. But you won't sick, you didn't kiss anyone and you kept all of your clothes on (I'm assuming). So it could have been much worse and that's just her style.

Move on.

Kingharoldshairstyle · 29/08/2022 21:47

DonnyBurrito · 29/08/2022 21:39

You were vulnerable with another adult and that's okay! She's been lovely about it, she cares about you clearly. You've got a real friend there. Don't ruin that by making her feel awkward about it with your awkwardness! Make a light joke about it if it's appropriate, and move on. Maybe invite her to do something after work one day. Go for a meal? Maybe you could open up to her about what's making you sad, kind older women tend to have a lot of wisdom.

She seems to care about you and that's rare. Chill and accept that you are human 💐And have a berocca.

For goodness sake, she’s about a decade older than the op, early fifties, hardly methuselah 😂

on a serious note I’m not sure I’d be inviting her for a meal so you can tell her more of your issues. She stepped in when you were in a bad way, but this doesn’t mean she is now to be used as your emotional support she is still a colleague

I think the question remains on do you have a support network you can lean on outside of work? Friends or family members who can help you through whatever is occuring?

knackeredagain · 29/08/2022 21:54

OP, I have been both the drunk colleague and the motherly colleague and can assure you, many, many of us have been there. You didn’t do anything dreadful. No-one gets to their 50s without seeing a few drunken tears.

I think you have nothing to worry about, but you will feel 100% better when you’ve seen her.

PugInTheHouse · 29/08/2022 21:56

I've definitely seen much worse on works nights out, also probably done worse myself. It's never as bad as you think the next day, beer fear is real though!!

Blossomtoes · 29/08/2022 21:59

At least you weren’t sick in your handbag. Just saying 😳

KimberleyClark · 29/08/2022 21:59

We’re you drinking gin by any chance? Always has that effect on me.

BogOffTraceyBeaker · 29/08/2022 22:05

I’d own it - walk in and say I had a lovely nap on the night out glad I woke up in time for work - some shit like that will shut the gossips up

Pugdogmom · 29/08/2022 22:06

I have been the drunk person and the supportive person. Am sure your work colleagues have been the same. You'll be fine OP.

LBFseBrom · 29/08/2022 22:08

I understand your embarrassment but you're not the first and won't be the last. I doubt you'll do it again! It could have been worse, let it go.

notanothertakeaway · 29/08/2022 22:16

Your colleague sounds kind and caring

I wouldn't lose sleep over this

Just thank her for her kindness and move on

ToFindNewWays · 29/08/2022 22:21

Do you feel that your kind colleague was a bit OTT in her physicality with you? Do you feel she overstepped a boundary? Obviously she meant well and it was completely benign (and maybe she was a bit tipsy too?) but I wondered if that is at the root of it, a bit.

Original poster
DarkNights88 · 29/08/2022 22:21

Yes it was gin.
Thanks for making me feel better about this. I've texted her already and will buy her some flowers tomorrow. Hopefully it will all feel less awkward soon. It's the vulnerability and tears, needing to be looked after that has bothered me most but it's done now and I just have to try and get on with things tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
DarkNights88 · 29/08/2022 22:24

@ToFindNewWays She is like that generally, very tactile. Me, not so much. I did appreciate it but just embarrassed to need it if that makes sense.

OP posts:
Randomthoughts992 · 29/08/2022 22:38

to be honest, that sounds so Adorable

Dunnoburt · 29/08/2022 22:45

Been there, done that, got the t shirt (and magnet, tea towel, postcard etc.) YANBU it's mortifying however the reality is always so much better than the thought/worry about it! This time tomorrow it will all be done,dusted and forgotten about! Good luck OP xx

SRS29 · 29/08/2022 23:08

OP seriously just style it out, rock up to work with flowers laughing saying'I think you so deserve these' so everyone knows you know, and she knows.....you'll be fine #beenthere 😊

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