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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be embarrassed, so embarrassed ?

93 replies

DarkNights88 · 29/08/2022 18:49

Went on a work night out on Saturday. The whole team. It was at one of the colleagues homes.
Got very drunk. Very emotional and then had a headache and got tearful. My very motherly colleague sat in the other room with me stroking my hair while I cried and I then fell asleep while waiting for DH to come and collect me. Aibu to be so embarrassed and worried about work tomorrow?

OP posts:
Georgeskitchen · 29/08/2022 19:22

Your colleague sounds lovely. Take her a box of chocs. I bet she's seen worse, and even possibly done worse 😅

Nowhereelsetogo90 · 29/08/2022 19:23

Oh bless you we’ve all been there! Seen worse, probs done worse! Don’t worry ❤️

TabithaTittlemouse · 29/08/2022 19:24

She sounds lovely. Take her in a bunch of flowers as a thank you.

Heyisforhorses · 29/08/2022 19:26

@DarkNights88 you didn't do anything wrong, you cried and someone minded you. The fact you didn't pull away means you needed it. You've contacted her, she has been lovely, forgive yourself and move on. Be as you were with her, nothing needs to change. Hope you feel okay with your personal stuff x

Bluetrews25 · 29/08/2022 19:26

You say that you have some personal stuff going on that colleagues do not know about.
Is it time to confide in someone?
Is it something fixable?
Do you need some help or just someone to talk to?

Sorry - I'm the kind of person who would have been with you that night in the other room!

Agadoodoododont · 29/08/2022 19:28

You won’t be the first weepy drunk she’s sat with, nor the last I expect.
Look on the bright side, you didn’t vomit or take your clothes off, break anything or dance on her dining table.

Heyisforhorses · 29/08/2022 19:28

@Vecnasnurse everyone needs a friend like you when feeling shit. Your story made me laugh when I got to the milkshake but I love how you use it to help someone with The Fear ❤

blisstwins · 29/08/2022 19:29

DarkNights88 · 29/08/2022 18:57

That's the most embarrassing part. I'm in my late thirties, she's older, early fifties. I'm so annoyed at myself.
Was just feeling emotional. I don't drink much normally and not good at handling it.
We get on well at work but I'm so embarrassed that she spent ages stroking my hair and soothing me like I am a young woman or girl.

Bring her flowers and a heart duo thank you. She sounds lovely. This is not the worst—will be forgotten.

Original poster
DarkNights88 · 29/08/2022 19:35

I think it's the coming across immature and the intimacy that's bothered me more. Don't get me wrong, I needed it, but embarrassed to have needed it if that makes sense. Just the thought of her being there with me for so long cuddling me like a young kid and stroking my hair, telling me I was going to be ok is just mortifying to me. This is not what I am like normally and I would have been fine had I not drunk the way I did.
I know people have done worse, need to keep telling myself that.

OP posts:
neverbeenskiing · 29/08/2022 19:39

I think it's the coming across immature and the intimacy that's bothered me more. Don't get me wrong, I needed it, but embarrassed to have needed it if that makes sense

It's not immature to need some comfort and affection from another person. You're only human. You're being very hard on yourself, which is pretty normal when you're feeling fragile the day after having too much to drink.

Neverminddoris · 29/08/2022 19:39

She sounds lovely OP as do you. Chin up - step through it - one foot in front of the other. In a years time you won’t even remember x

HailAdrian · 29/08/2022 19:41

OP, if it's any consolation, I cried AT work (sober, obviously) the other day because of a song and was treated similarly by a lovely coworker. At least you weren't angry or offensive.

Americano75 · 29/08/2022 19:42

Your colleague sounds lovely, she'll probably be upset that you're embarrassed. Honestly, I've heard and done far worse!

katepilar · 29/08/2022 19:44

Are you embarrassed about the drinking or the crying? Crying is nothing to ebe embarrased about. Not sure why she stroke your hair?

excitingusername · 29/08/2022 19:44

She may have been pissed herself and feel embarrassed about how strokey she was - you don't know.

Sounds kinda sweet the whole thing. I love when women look out for each other.

maddiemookins16mum · 29/08/2022 19:47

Brazen it out.
’oh my God, how soddled was I!!!! Poor Eunice had to look after me like I was a 16 year old bless her. Ladies, if you ever see me on the gin again, add extra tonic (add a wry chuckle here). My head was banging the next day!! Anyways, what did everyone do yesterday?’

Kingharoldshairstyle · 29/08/2022 19:47

I’m going to slightly go against the grain here and say it does sound like you have some quite significant stuff going on, if you’re saying you needed her to do that, and she had to spend a long time cuddling and stroking you and saying you will be ok. That’s very different to getting pissed and puking in someone’s shoes or something.

Is there no one in your life who can provide that comfort or are you getting help for the problems you’re enduring? Is there anything anyone on here can advise you on?

User45446 · 29/08/2022 19:53

I've been there, both as you and the colleague! I totally understand what you mean by the intimacy and how embarrassing it all feels. Many people have been where you are, not that it makes you feel any better. But I have many a time wished for a time machine or a "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" opportunity.

I would suggest tomorrow thanking the colleague and using humour to diffuse the situation. But I would also maybe look for support elsewhere, to help you with your current difficulties and to work through your fear of intimacy (I hate that bloody term - sorry!).

I think your collegue thinks a lot of you.

ItsJustLittleOlMe · 29/08/2022 19:54

Cringe. But we've all been there. You just have to suck it up and front it out!

70billionthnamechange · 29/08/2022 19:57

I did the same and me and this lady actually ended up really good friends after that. I had a real soft spot for her and I think vice versa because it's a pretty intimate thing. She obvs likes you so don't sweat it

PantyMcPantFace · 29/08/2022 20:06

I'm 50. I wouldn't think much about the age gap mostly. Apart from, as a mother, if a younger colleague was upset it might fire off my motherly instincts and hope someone would look after DD (17yo) if she was pissed and upset. Hence she stuck with you holding your hand (so to speak).
Thank her genuinely for caring and looking after you.
Forget about it/move on as far as work/colleague concerned.
Consider if you need to address whatever is making you unhappy.

soph12347 · 29/08/2022 20:12

Honestly, i've been like that at work completely sober 😂
I would tell you what happened to my friend at our work's Christmas party but it was so outrageous that it would be far too outing and i can assure you it was way worse than what you've described and it was in front of over 200 people (big company)!

Notanotherwindow · 29/08/2022 20:15

Look on the bright side. You didn't vomit, sleep with anyone or take off any clothes.

VladmirsPoutine · 29/08/2022 20:45

You have the fear. People have done far worse. Just apologise and ride out the wave. It will soon be old news.

Oreoreo · 29/08/2022 20:54

Your colleague sounds lovely.
Try not to be embarrassed, I’ve done some incredibly embarrassing things at work events whilst drinking, and so have my colleagues.
in fact my boss once got so drunk at a work night out that she started telling her boss to just fuck off before she promptly passed out in front of a Christmas tree in a hotel lobby. We all looked after her and had a laugh about it later. No long lasting ribbing or anything. It’ll all be fine ☺️ You didn’t do anything that bad!