Mileage allowance out of maintenance

[notalazybitch]

Dss's mother is a lazy cow. DP has always paid above the minimum recommended payment guide from cms. She is begging for more money from him even though we are struggling immensely financially. She is claiming everything under the sun so she doesn't have to work. I know that she has fiddled things so she gets more in benefits, I would love to report her for this but it would impact dss so I won't.
My question is whether DP can claim petrol costs for picking up and dropping off out of cms payments. The current costs are crippling us. How much would he be able to claim? She will not help with transport, it's 45 min drive.

Thank you

Also I know for a fact she's fiddling, it's very specific how I know which is why I can't say

Why doesn’t he phone CMS and ask about special expenses rather than you asking randoms online? They’re best placed to know, aren’t they?

Mumsnet is a forum to ask questions and advice.

Needs to be at least £10pw to be deducted from maintenance.

Thank you

So he's begrudging what - one tank of fuel a month - to see his son?

Yes that's exactly what he's doing 🙄
Have you noticed the cost of living crisis that's going on?

And its the first born that has to bare the brunt of it is it ?

Nope his mum has a large disposable income and he is supported by his dad

He can ask for them to take it into account yes. He would probably have to go through CMS officially to do this not just work it out on their online calculator.

Thank you

Well that does sound exactly like what he's doing tbh.

Child maintenance is the absolute last resort cut back.

Either report it or let it go and stop being bitter about it. Its not worth letting it eat you up like this.

@girlmom21 it is the last resort

Don't pay your mortgage, don't pay any bills, council tax and don't feed your other kids basically

Fair enough. The complaining about the kids mom right at the start felt more like spite than necessity but if there's nothing else you can do start paying her the CMS minimum and use the money saved for fuel

Seriously use the online CMS calculator to work out how much your DP is expected to pay, and how much she would be expected to pay as well, because the one should be offset against the other. A lot of people seem to think that it’s a one way street, but it’s not.
Usually one parent will be expected to pay more than the other one, as their incomes are different, or time spent with one is more or less than with the ither, but even in cases on a 50/50 residential order, there is often child maintenance involved.

for eg in my own case, my ex earns £x,000 and is calculated to have to pay £y00 in child maintenance to me. I earn minimum wage, topped up by UC but as my DC spends around one night a week at my ex I would expected to pay a small amount to him. Subtracting the one from the other reaches the amount that my ex pays in support for our child, for the other 6 days a week.

I do think doing it officially through CMS is the way to go, even though it does take a percentage.

If he does overnights this will also be taken into account.

If she moved away then she would be expected to meet half way at the least but that doesn’t sound like that happened here.

Tbh he should have thought about this before having more kids.

@girlmom21 yeah I can see that, it was written in anger.

Thank you @Flutterbybudget he is requesting to go through cms properly.

@SunnyD44 we have him lots overnight. I don't think the comment about our children is very fair. Why should she be able to have more children but we have to put our lives on hold when he has always continued to support his son

I don't think she has a large disposable income if she's on benefits.

Why should she be able to have more children but we have to put our lives on hold when he has always continued to support his son

He can have as many as he wants to as long as he can afford them.

Surely he would have taken his son living far away into consideration before deciding if he can afford more children.

If you separate and he wants another child then he would also need to think about how he is going to see your shared children and if he can afford it.

Not necessarily. If mum is a millionaire and doesn't need the cash but dad's house is struggling I don't see why it shouldn't be cut back to the minimum CMS above not being able to afford to heat your house at all.

I agree I think its best to keep anger towards the ex out of it.

We could afford them but circumstances have changed as it has for millions across the country

We could afford them but circumstances have changed as it has for millions across the country

Including the ex.