He lives in my house, should he pay rent?

[Izzy21]

My bf of 10 years moved in with me 8 years ago. He just got divorced and I was single with my own place. We pay equally into an account in my name for bills but I have no mortgage . I have no savings as every spare penny went into paying off my mortgage. He has a nice car and earns slightly more than I do. Am I being unreasonable to ask him to pay rent? He says if we split up then i keep the property, which is true, but as I spent all my money on the mortgage I have no money to spend on a nice car or nice holiday. Meanwhile he lives rent free.

There's no benefit here for the OP.

OP gets half her bills paid so has a lot of extra disposable income, but still gets to keep the entire house if they separate.

I’d say OP is very fortunate.

If I was him I would be getting my own mortgage and either living separately or getting a buy to let.

Half the bills that HE ALSO USES.

He is still living for next to nothing. A decent bloke would be grateful he's quids in and not quibble over an absolute split of the bills.

Should I charge my adult son on £60K no rent because my mortgage is paid off?

How come adult son on 60k is still at home with parents?

@Itloggedmeoutagain

Not for much longer I hope!

If your son contributes towards his share of the bills then why would you charge him rent if you have no mortgage?

@stopitstopitnow because he's a grown man. His £500 covers his bills and gives me a bit of leeway for maintenance. He is still living cheap as chips enabling him to save.

Nobody falls in love faster than a man in need of a new roof over his head, and a skeuomorphic wife in his bed.

It depends on whether you want him to potentially build up an interest in your house and to be able to claim a share of it if you were to spilt

A person paying rent to the property owner OP, is their tenant or lodger. Tenants and lodgers do NOT "build up an interest in the property" however long they live there and however much rent they pay. So if OP splits from the cocklodger or decides to sell the house, he has absolutely zero claim on her property.

@AhNowTed
Most parents I know don't charge their offspring rent for living at home, even if they're working.
They find it distasteful to profit off their children.
My own mother charged me as soon as I graduated from university.
This is more a matter of outlook that a clear-cut thing but not charging rent (and a token contribution to bills) is the norm from what I see.

He's 28 and on a good salary. He offered me more but I said no. He's a decent human being and doesn't want to "mooch" off his parents.

His sister is unemployed so obviously we support her. If she ends up on minimum wage I wouldn't ask for anything.

I'm fortunate I can afford to support her, lots of folks cannot.

And no, adult working children living rent free is not the "norm" round these parts.

Half the bills that HE ALSO USES.

He is still living for next to nothing. A decent bloke would be grateful he's quids in and not quibble over an absolute split of the bills.

Should I charge my adult son on £60K no rent because my mortgage is paid off?

But he’s her partner, not her child or lodger.

He is very fortunate that he doesn’t have to pay rent or mortgage but that also means he doesn’t own any property himself.

OP is better off than living alone as she’d have to pay all of the bills herself - many of which won’t be much more expensive whether there are 2 people or only 1.
She is not out of pocket in anyway.

Why would he need to pay extra?
Just so OP has an extra income.

If he has no share in the property, then while he has more disposable income each month, you also have (a bit) more disposable income as your bills are less than double what you would pay as a single person, and assuming that he contributes in other ways such as housework/cooking etc then you have a better life with him than without him.

If you no longer have a mortgage then while you have far less savings, you must have hundreds of pounds free each month that you would have been otherwise paying the mortgage with - why can't you put that towards a holiday/nice car or build up your savings.

if the positions were reversed, a woman would be advised that she should either marry her partner asap to secure an interest in the house, or be putting aside savings in case they split up and she has to leave.

To be honest, it sounds like you feel resentful about him because of a situation that you agreed to.

If you felt so strongly, you could discuss with him buying a proportion of the house. When I moved in with my partner he owned outright. I pay almost all the bills, but in return for that I accrue a small percentage interest in our property (which is in joint names) which will continue until I reach 50% of the property value, at which point we will reconsider.

Equally @SunnyD44 she is also HIS partner. Who has no car and can't afford a holiday.

Another person in the house is twice the wear and tear. Who's paying when the boiler breaks down or the shower is knackered.

I don't think you should as it makes it more awkward if anything goes wrong- I do however think he should pay more than 50% of the bills- probably more like 75% of them- he's paying no rent so that should be easy to do

He may be entitled to claim a share of the house anyway if he lived there for 8 years, if you split up. He should make some sort of a written statement that he does not and never will have any claim to your house..

Of course you’ll keep the property if you split up - but he should still be paying you rent. If he was living with a flatmate who owned the property, he wouldn’t expect to live there rent-free on the grounds that the flatmate/landlord would keep the property after he moved out!

Before we bought a place together, I lived with my DP for several years in a house he owned, and I contributed a monthly payment towards the mortgage plus my share of the bills.

Equally @SunnyD44 she is also HIS partner. Who has no car and can't afford a holiday.

But why doesn’t she?

If she pays no rent or mortgage and only half the bills then she must have lots of disposable income left over.

He shouldn’t have to give her money just because she wants fancy holidays when she should be capable of paying for this herself.

No one should have to pay money to their partner for no reason other than they just want more money.

@SunnyD44

Well since the OP hasn't been back we'll never know who's paying for the upkeep. Or even how much extra the OP was looking for.

I certainly think he should be paying a bit more than half if she's covering all the wear and tear.

He's still majorly quids in.

She has made all the effort to pay for the home that he gets to enjoy... He gets to save a lot of money not having to pay anything towards the home... then if they are at the point of anyone expecting her to think this is fine, surely it should also be fine for her to expect some say in his spending/saving?
Knowing more about the circumstances would also be helpful - he may have expectations of an inheritance, this may reduce his interest in marriage and joint finances at this stage...

Have you got a will? Are you clear what happens to your home in the event of your death? Have you protected your property to ensure he cant claim if you split? I would also check he hasn't already registered a claim via land registry.
He landed very quickly on his feet post divorce. Does he have kids who stay over too in your home?

In relation to rent he has been able to have extra money living rent free so he should pick up extras like holidays, nights out etc.

Google beneficial interest.
And be aware that once you are charging rent you have effectively made a contract although as a lodger he would have very limited rights.

I think its fair enough that he's not paying rent. He is paying his share of bills and won't have any claim to the house if things went wrong. If though something like a boiler repair / carpet replacement was required I would hope that he'd pay half of that because he's contributing to the wear and tear as much as you.

In a committed longterm relationship, I would hope that you were both paying into some kind of joint savings account towards things you both want / need in the future. Or potentially he would be using his disposable income to invest in assets that could provide you both with income to the joint pot. If he's just spending all his disposable income on frivolous things I would find that hard to deal with.

He shouldn’t have to give her money just because she wants fancy holidays when she should be capable of paying for this herself.

No one should have to pay money to their partner for no reason other than they just want more money.

Bunkum

He is an adult who doesn't think have to pay anything for accomodation
He's quids in and has savings where as OP has covered all his living costs. I'd love to pay half the utility bills and nothing else

Ahe is subsidising him
If they break up he's been living rent and housing free for 8 years!! That's £96,000 he's saved as she's subsidising him. His rent would have been £1000 a month in his own place

Of course he doesn't get a share of the house. He paid nothing towards it as she paid it off herself, he put nothing down . You don't make money out of your LL, why should he make money out of his gf?!

Shocking how entities some people are! Once you leave your parents home, every adult should be paying their way unless your a SAHP supporting someone else's career in childcare not money.

Your attitude is precisely why you end up alone and/or divorced.

This is not a question about paying rent (which is ludicrous)

Its about how each of them spends their disposable income, as well as their views about the relationship in the long-run.

If you want to weaponise owning the house that is fine, just be ready for the high probability of him leaving as that is not a partnership. That is transactional.

And that is how you kill relationships.

I wouldn’t make him pay rent if there is no mortgage. But he’s definitely be paying half of all the other bills like utilities and food and internet