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Original poster

The "anything is possible" brigade

254 replies

Arkarians · 27/08/2022 09:24

Anything is possible with enough hard work! Does anyone else find this phrase annoying as fuck?

You can become a billionaire like Elon Musk apparently, if you just simply work as hard as him.

Anyones child can excel in school, get top marks on all of their GCSEs and get into Oxbridge, if they bothered to work hard enough.

Anyone can achieve a high-flying career as a lawyer or doctor, if they just work hard enough.

The implication is that people who aren't massively successful lawyers, doctors, business owners, CEOs, etc are lazy fucks who couldn't be bothered to put the effort in? Not to mention how your background and/or current circumstances are a massive factor in success too.

Surely it doesn't matter how 'hard' you work, you could work 12 hours a day until the day you die and still never achieve Elon Musk level success. If you don't have the creativity, the right ideas, the luck and all the physical capacities for it, it will never happen.

Is there something Un-PC about acknowledging that people have different abilities, circumstances, levels of intelligence, etc, and not everyone is built for huge success?

OP posts:
Underhisi · 27/08/2022 16:15

"Literally anyone can be a care worker"

"Anyone" cannot be a care worker. We have funding for support workers for ds but do not have any because no one can do the role.

ThreeLocusts · 27/08/2022 16:18

Yanbu. It devolves into a form of victim blaming. And it completely disregards the roles of both social inequality and dumb luck in outcomes.

shedwithivy · 27/08/2022 16:25

Topgub · 27/08/2022 10:06

People who attribute success to hard work alone are often blind to privilege

They're often insecure about their success so the idea that it wasn't entirely down to their own hard work is offensive to them

The fact billions of people don't ever make it out of abject poverty despite doing actual back breaking hard work every day is just ignored.

Agree with all of this

Petronus · 27/08/2022 16:39

Sunnyqueen · 27/08/2022 09:35

Yanbu. I always find its the people who bleat the loudest 'I work hard for my money!' are the ones who actually sit on their arse on a laptop Monday to Friday 9-5 on a fat corporate wage. I just think really, you really believe you work harder than a minimum wage carer on a dementia ward working 100 hours a week?? And the fact they haven't been able to buy their own home like you is because they don't work as hard as you? Come the fuck on now.

Nailed it @Sunnyqueen I find this infuriating too.

Minimalme · 27/08/2022 16:59

ThreeLocusts · 27/08/2022 16:18

Yanbu. It devolves into a form of victim blaming. And it completely disregards the roles of both social inequality and dumb luck in outcomes.

Yes, this. I have had to grit my teeth over the last year as we lost our home and find a rented place.

People - mainly those very comfortably off - actually asked me where our money went. Then their ears snapped shut as I explained how I had to care ft for my disabled son once he reached 11 and had to give up my job. And how modern life is mainly financially impossible on one reasonable sized wage.

Then I had to listen to how frugal they were. How they saved money bulk buying, buying in advance in sales, never using any form of credit.

And nowhere in their smug little eyes could I see even a glimpse of understanding that all those things are the preserve of the rich.

We are good now and using the equity we built up over 15 years to fund our lives and give our kids security.

We will be poor pensioners but honestly, at least I will not be my wretched Mother with 2m but who is the least loved person I have ever met and has been cut off by two of her adult child and only one child standing by waiting for the windfall.

Zilla1 · 27/08/2022 17:01

It's almost like there is only a binary of 'anything is possible' or you believe your fate is totally determined by your family 'Don't be daft, Dave, we don't get to drive the lorry, know your place, we pack the lorry'.

Antarcticant · 27/08/2022 17:08

hanxsy · 27/08/2022 12:01

Entry level role in banking.

How do you get that role?

Coincidentally, there's a sponsored thread at the moment about apprenticeships with Lloyds Bank.

BoviTraci · 27/08/2022 18:28

Underhisi · 27/08/2022 16:15

"Literally anyone can be a care worker"

"Anyone" cannot be a care worker. We have funding for support workers for ds but do not have any because no one can do the role.

No they can't ! You have to be patient and emphatic . Not everyone has these qualities.

shinynewapple22 · 27/08/2022 19:33

Exactly @BoviTraci being able to engage a frail and frightened person with dementia who is refusing to eat/drink/ go to the bathroom / bed / change their clothes requires a real skill .

Annieisalright · 27/08/2022 19:35

Underhisi · 27/08/2022 16:15

"Literally anyone can be a care worker"

"Anyone" cannot be a care worker. We have funding for support workers for ds but do not have any because no one can do the role.

Are you sure that's not down to a lack of care workers due to poor working conditions and pay

Over the fact not everyone can do it?

whereeverilaymycat · 27/08/2022 19:37

YANBU

I think as well we have to acknowledge that mostly what people are saying is you can be rich / famous / the most talented at xyz. The social media type posts are basically all about work hard and you'll get loads of money and success.

I know two people who I believe have worked / work extremely hard. One in finance, one in the nhs as an intensive care nurse. Both work long hours, have stressful responsibilities and have had to graft to get the knowledge and experience they have. But the reality is the finance worker living in a house that cost over 1.5 million with the trappings of wealth, would be considered the harder working success story.

DragonsAndMoons · 27/08/2022 19:43

Aspirational but realistic is my motto for the young adults on my case load without the skills (yes intelligence as horrid as it sounds is a factor). It's unfair to set some people up to fail and really disheartening for them.

Annieisalright · 27/08/2022 19:47

YANBU

I also disagree with those posters saying intelligence isn't key either

Also it's not always based on privilege

I have 3 children, all with varying levels of intelligence and they have the same opportunities in life, the same spent on each for tutors etc.

I love my eldest but she is not 'built' for an academic life or career bless her, my younger two do so much better in terms of educationally but still varied between the two of them.

People have different abilities and that's fine. But to pretend anyone can do anything is just plain stupidity

Willyoujustbequiet · 27/08/2022 20:02

Yanbu

They are deluded. Virtually guaranteed to be Tory voters too.

Ellami · 27/08/2022 20:03

I think this statement can be linked to too many people who haven’t achieved actual success becoming scarily unqualified ‘life coaches’ and trotting out half-baked, fridge magnet slogans and badly-understood psychology.

Underhisi · 27/08/2022 20:19

"Are you sure that's not down to a lack of care workers due to poor working conditions and pay

Over the fact not everyone can do it?"

Well the pay isn't good enough for the role but a lot of people would not be capable of doing the the role. It is physically and mentally demanding, you need to be very patient, be able to read all the non verbal communication, be able to communicate in a way that the person understands, be very aware of any the multiple triggers that lead to distressed behaviour, to be able to calm the person if they become distressed and self injure, to be able to manage challenging behaviour eg punching and biting as well as all the personal care stuff. And do all of this in a domestic setting and out in the community.

Annieisalright · 27/08/2022 20:40

Underhisi · 27/08/2022 20:19

"Are you sure that's not down to a lack of care workers due to poor working conditions and pay

Over the fact not everyone can do it?"

Well the pay isn't good enough for the role but a lot of people would not be capable of doing the the role. It is physically and mentally demanding, you need to be very patient, be able to read all the non verbal communication, be able to communicate in a way that the person understands, be very aware of any the multiple triggers that lead to distressed behaviour, to be able to calm the person if they become distressed and self injure, to be able to manage challenging behaviour eg punching and biting as well as all the personal care stuff. And do all of this in a domestic setting and out in the community.

So as expected

Your struggling to find someone due to the pay being terrible and people not wanting to do it

Not, due to an inability to do it

TakeTheOffPisteRoute · 27/08/2022 20:43

Underhisi · 27/08/2022 20:19

"Are you sure that's not down to a lack of care workers due to poor working conditions and pay

Over the fact not everyone can do it?"

Well the pay isn't good enough for the role but a lot of people would not be capable of doing the the role. It is physically and mentally demanding, you need to be very patient, be able to read all the non verbal communication, be able to communicate in a way that the person understands, be very aware of any the multiple triggers that lead to distressed behaviour, to be able to calm the person if they become distressed and self injure, to be able to manage challenging behaviour eg punching and biting as well as all the personal care stuff. And do all of this in a domestic setting and out in the community.

So if that's the case, why don't all these mentally very capable care workers opt for other roles that they can apply their intellect to that are less physically demanding and pay more...?

Note:
-I've utmost respect of care workers and believe they play a valuable role in society (albeit one that is sadly only required as nowadays we've decided we'd rather not look after our own loved ones in old age)
-my point is therefore challenging only your assessment of how mentally taxing the role can be

tobee · 27/08/2022 20:53

Isn't it the American way of thinking?

My dd, who has autism, complains because "hard work" or "working hard" are not definable concepts. I agree with her.

I used to hate hearing parents exhorting their children to "work hard" when they dropped them off at primary school. What's wrong with "have a good day" or similar?

Underhisi · 27/08/2022 21:01

"my point is therefore challenging only your assessment of how mentally taxing the role can be"

I stated what is required in the role of being a support worker for my teenager and others like him. The pay offered ( by the LA) is minimum wage.

Annieisalright · 27/08/2022 21:08

Underhisi · 27/08/2022 21:01

"my point is therefore challenging only your assessment of how mentally taxing the role can be"

I stated what is required in the role of being a support worker for my teenager and others like him. The pay offered ( by the LA) is minimum wage.

Which is the source of the problem with recruiting for the role

Not that not everyone can do it

You're adding 1+1 and getting a triangle

Firty · 27/08/2022 21:22

Yanbu. This is why I can’t enjoy programs like Xfactor. All that “follow your dreams” crap when for most people, that’s terrible advice.

Underhisi · 27/08/2022 21:24

If it is an easy role that anyone can do why are higher rates of pay required?

Annieisalright · 27/08/2022 21:26

Underhisi · 27/08/2022 21:24

If it is an easy role that anyone can do why are higher rates of pay required?

No one said it was easy

They said unskilled

Which is true

Anyone can do it

Not everyone wants to

feellikeanalien · 27/08/2022 21:35

I'm finding this thread quite depressing. What is clear is that we are a very materialistic society who value people because of what they have or the position they hold rather than who they are, how they behave towards others and what they contribute to society. I had (rather optimistically) hoped that we might have moved on a bit from that view.

My DD has SN. The TAs in her school are fantastic. They need to be able to deal with teenagers who not only have the usual teenage issues but also additional problems caused by health conditions. They are lovely caring people who do what they do because they enjoy it. They are woefully underpaid and I am sure lots of them could be doing something "better".

One of the main problems seems to be that salaries in the so called less skilled occupations are so poor that they do not cover all the costs of living so people need to earn more money just to have a basic standard of living.

I had hoped that the pandemic would have changed attitudes a little after the "clapping for carers". Sadly nothing has changed.